The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike
by Metal Sonic EX
Summary: With the ZX cast in tow, RMPS returns for its' third season! [Complete]
1. Season Premiere

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Once again, we rejoined the cast of RMPS, already in progress. "…ooooooooooooooo!!" The straps spontaneously came undone. Data plopped out of his chair and looked at MSX. "Must… gnaw… feet off… Can't… right now… Spent all my energy… screaming…"

MSX raised an eyebrow and snapped his fingers. "Congrats. It's season three! You've all got enough energy for a while and you know your lines. So, take your places and let's get this show on the road!" X sighed. "We'd better be paid for overtime this time." MSX smirked. 'There is no overtime…"

Everyone glanced at each other. "I've planned it so that, if anything, you'll be finished early, drastically reducing your paycheck!" MSX began laughing like the maniacal bastard that he is as everyone reluctantly got into position. "Clyde! Prepare the letters!"

Clyde opened a box labeled, 'Giant Letters'. "Letters ready!" MSX rubbed his hands together. "Lights…" Clyde turned on the lights. "Camera…" Clyde turned the camera on.

"Antigravity machine…" Clyde turned the massive machine on and the letters began floating. "Action!" Clyde karate-chopped a plan of wood. "Smartass…" Clyde pointed to himself. "No food for a week." Clyde lowered his head. "And… action!!"

* * *

Season Premiere

A Parody of Star Wars

By: The Classic, X, Legends, Zero, Battle Network, and ZX series

* * *

(A.N. My original parody of Star Wars sucked, So, to condone, I've done the unthinkable… I've parodied the entire series.)

(As the prologue pops up, the words gradually fade into the distance and draw closer to a planet. The camera then changes to the planet's surface where aliens are running for their lives, screaming as the letters begin to crash into the planet. All this happens as the Star Wars theme is playing.)

Big Bird - This show today is brought to you by the letter…

(Big Bird gets crushed by a giant letter E as the music scratches.)

Zero - It's something… elsewhere… elusive…

X - Well, I just farted. That's probably it.

Zero - Oh… OH! God, man! What did you eat a skunk or something?

(Time passes.)

X - But, Master Yoda said I should be mindful of the future.

Zero - Well, Master Yoda is a 3-foot-tall little green man with bad feet.

(Later, a cannon drops from the ceiling and turns to the control tower. A droid holds up a sign that says, 'Surprise, mo-fos!' seconds before the control is destroyed.)

X - You were right about one thing. The trade negotiations were short.

(X smiles and Zero punches him in the mouth.)

Zero - Never make humor in my presence.

(In Alia's palace…)

Alia - The signal's being jammed. That can only mean one thing: Intergalactic Idol is on.

(On Naboo, Zero sees Hyenard and shrugs. He then sits back as he is run over.)

Zero - Why were you banished, Jar-Jar?

Hyenard - Me-sa make big caca on royal banquet.

(X and Zero stare at Hyenard.)

Hyenard - It's a long story.

(Underwater, X looks at a gigantic fish.)

X - Aw, shit, man. Look at the size of that thing. We're fish food!

(When power goes out, Zero turns to Hyenard.)

Zero - If we weren't underwater, I'd push you out the window.

(In the base…)

Mysterious Guy - This is my apprentice, Darth Balls. He will find your lost ship.

Zero - I sense a disturbance in the force.

X - I do too.

(X and Zero both look at Hyenard.)

Hyenard - Me-sa sorry. Me-sa like-a taco grande. -farts-

(Then, Hyenard is walking around on Tatooine. He suddenly steps in a bucket marked 'Dewback Shit'.)

Hyeanrd - Ohhh… icky icky goop!

(Later, Colonel, who is holding both arms at mid-torso, talks to Infinity Mijinion.)

Colonel - What do you mean, 'naked'?

(Mijinion beeps.)

Colonel - My ball bearings are showing? Oh dear.

Axl - Mom, you say that the biggest problem in this universe is that nobody helps one another. That and there's too many Mexicans stinkin' up the planet.

(When Hyenard gets his hand caught in the pod racer, Iris comes over with an axe and chops it off.)

Iris - You are freed. All is well.

(During the podrace, F-Zero music begins playing as Axl gets into another race with Captain Falcon. Then, Axl wins the race.)

Berkana - My place is here. My future is here. You must go. And if you ever see one of those Wookie bastards, kick them in their soft squishy parts for me.

Axl - I promise, I'll come back and free you, mom. Actually, I'm lying. I'm going to enslave thousands of people and kill a thousand more under an assumed name. And now that I'm not a slave anymore, I'd prefer that you didn't touch me.

(After the drones return, Sigma drives off a cliff and doesn't reappear. The camera looks to the bottom of the cliff where Sigma is now a large blood splatter. Then, the scene changes to the interior of a spaceship.)

Axl - I made this for you. -hands Iris a bag with a turd in it- I made it from corn, chick peas, and crayons for texture.

(Time passes.)

Iceman - I sense much fear in you.

Axl - Maybe I'm just afraid of being shouted at by a big-eared green midget.

Zero - He is not dangerous. I mean, it's not like he's going to grow up, turn to the dark side, put on a big, black helmet, create a Death Star, kill you, and chop off his own son's hand while using the force to strangle random people, right?

(Zero and X slowly turn to face the camera.)

Clyde - I make you bombard general.

Hyenard - General?! -sounds of bowels releasing-

Clyde - Oh, Jar-Jar! Not again!

(During battle in base, an aircraft is shot down.)

Random Pilot - Why is this base built on the edge of a cliiiiiiiii-drags to crash-

(In hangar, doors open to reveal Sigma.)

Sigma - I require a dramatic entrance. I need my smoke machine. Where is my smoke machine?

(A droid sets a smoke machine right next to Sigma.)

Sigma - Okay, close the doors. Start again, start again.

(The doors close for a second then open up again, revealing a puff of smoke. Sigma steps out of the smoke.)

Sigma - Much better.

(Sigma is cut in half and falls to his death.)

Sigma - Oh balls!

(The shot goes to Dynamo and Vile.)

Vile - So, what's it like working on the bottom floor?

Dynamo - Eh, not bad. Nothing eventful ever happens, though.

(Suddenly, Sigma's halves hit the ground right next to the two men, splattering blood everywhere. The two guys just slowly back away. Then, Clyde lifts up the bizarre sphere.)

Clyde - PEACE!!

(Suddenly, the sphere explodes.)

MSX - Cue Episode Two!!

(As the words disappear into the background, they eventually crash into the International Space Station.)

Astronaut - Houston, we have problem…

Random Guard - I guess we were wrong. There was no danger after all.

(The ship explodes.)

Random Guard - Well, I can't be right all the time. -whistles-

(Iris walks into the building and X sees Iris.)

X - Seeing you alive brings warm feelings to my crotch.

(The elevator doors open.)

Hyenard - Obi? Obi!

(X stares at Hyenard.)

X - You're still alive? Then… what happened to the 'package' I sent you?

Hyenard - What?

X - Nothing.

(The shot goes to a forest where an Ewok walks towards a small brown package on the ground marked 'To Jar-Jar Binks'. He touches the package and it explodes, rocketing him into space. Then, X jumps to the window, hits the glass and falls down.)

Random Guy - Would it kill you to open a window once in a while?

(Time passes and X converses with Megaman.)

X - Why do I have the feeling that you're going to be the death of me?

(They both turn towards the camera and a silence follows.)

Protoman - You wanna buy some death sticks?

X - You don't want to sell me death sticks.

Protoman - I don't wanna sell you death sticks.

X - You want to go home and rethink your life.

Protoman - I wanna go home, rethink my life.

X - And you want to let your wife out of the basement.

Protoman - Nope, don't wanna do that. She's a real bitch.

(A little bit more time passes.)

X - Jar-Jar, I'm sure you have much to do. I don't want to hold you up. By the way, how'd you get such a high-powered political position?

Hyenard - Me-sa sucky sucky long time.

(Later, X is asking questions about Jedis.)

X - Yes, little Billy?

Little Billy - The planet was made of cheese and somebody ate it?

X - Good answer, Billy. Now let's get an answer from someone who's not a total retard.

(Moments pass.)

Megaman - I don't like sand. It's cold, it's coarse, and it really stings if it gets in your eyes.

(Megaman pulls out a handful of sand from his pocket and throws it in Iris' face.)

Megaman - You see what I mean?

(Later, X watches as hundreds of Michael Jackson clones line up.)

Alien Guy - Magnificent, aren't they?

(After some interesting crap happens, Megaman and Iris return to Tatooine.)

Berkana - Fanny, is that you?

(Megaman farts.)

Berkana - Fanny! It is you!!(

After some more interesting stuff happens, Bass, or Mace Winodw if you prefer, walks up to observe Hyenard talking on Iris' behalf.)

Bass - Who the hell put him in charge?

(During the Jedi battle, Vile gets his head cut off. Wily, AKA Count Doodoo, shakes his head.)

Wily - I told him to keep his head.

(Just then, Dynamo walks in.)

Dynamo - I'm back. They didn't have Sprite, so I got you… -notices fight- …Sierra Mist…

(A droid explodes nearby and Dynamo runs for cover. Then, as Iceman flies to the ground, he draws his saber.)

Iceman - Kick your asses we have come to. Cry for mercy, you bitches shall.

(Before Iceman fights Wily, he puts down a beatbox and turns it on.)

Iceman - Let's dance.

(Iceman begins jumping around wildly.)

Wily - Holy shit!!

MSX - Cue Episode Three!!

(This time, the flying words fly into the sun, creating a massive solar flare. Then, as the ship flies by the body floating in space, the pilot turns to him.)

Gay In Space - Baaaaaaaaaaaalls!!!

(Mijinion shocks the bug drone and it flies off of the wing. A ship flies into its' path and blows up. People are shot into space, floating next to the guy who's already floating.)

Guy In Space - Well, at least I've got friends now. You guys like playing dominoes?

New Guy #1 - Yeah.

New Guy #2 - Sure.

Guy In Space - Man, I wish I had some dominoes.

(Then, Mijinion pwns some robots.)

Mijinion - 10000101111110101100. Bitches.

(A.N. This means pwned.)

(A random person comes in and begins laughing as he sees Mijinion flying away from flaming drones.)

Random Guy - Damn! You just got your asses kicked by R2-D2!!

(During battle with Wily…)

Wily - Excellent. Twice the power. Double the fall. Doublemint. Doublemint. Doublemint gum!

(Just as battle ends…)

Megaman - Allow me to introduce you to a lady. Her name is Payback.

(Megaman cuts off Wily's hands.)

Megaman - Payback's a real bitch.

(Then, Megaman frees Data.)

Megaman - I shouldn't. I shouldn't book hotels regularly when I can go to and name my own price for hotels!

(A gnome suddenly appears.)

Gnome - Good idea! Blap!

(The gnome spontaneously explodes for no reason. Then, moments later, X and Megaman swing into the doorway.)

X - Wait… where'd the other guy go?

(Suddenly, Data falls past the door and his screams fade. His screams then increase again as he falls the same way past the same door. After the fourth pass, X reaches out and pulls him into the door.)

Data - Well… -slicks back wig- That was weird.

(Later, Megaman is talking with a politician.)

Megaman - Excuse me.

(He walks over to a shadowy figure which is obviously Iris.)

Megaman - STOP FOLLOWING ME!! -smacks Iris-

(Megaman returns to the politician.)

Megaman - Now, as you were saying…"

(Later that night…)

Megaman - You die in childbirth.

Iris - It was only a dream.

(An awkward silence follows. Later, while talking with Iris…)

Iris - Why, for once, can't you wash the dishes?

Megaman - Don't ask me to do that!

(A Wookie commander stands up and shakes his arms in the air.)

Wookie Commander - We're Wookies!!

(The crowd begins doing the same.)

Wookies - Wookies!!

(A Wookie grabs onto the side of this large tank-like machine and knocks on a small door on the side.)

Random Guy - Who is it?

Wookie - -growls-

Random Guy - Oh, Fed-Ex? I'd better get it.

(A droid opens up the door and the Wookie grabs him and throws him onto the ground.)

Random Guy - Hey! You're not Fed-Eeeeeeeeexxxxxx!!!

(Later, in the hangar…)

Megaman - Come on. When have I ever let you down?

X - There was that time when I jumped off of Aunt Margery's shed.

Megaman - Yeah, but…

X - Then, on top of the water tower.

Megaman - Yeah, but still…

X - Then, there was the Sears' Tower.

Megaman - You're a real dumbass when it comes to height, ya know.

(After brief battle with Juno, AKA General Beavis, he jumps into a tire.)

Juno - Hi ho tire! Away!!

(The tire rolls away without Juno.)

Juno - Argh. I didn't mean it like that. Come back.

(Megaman is talking to Bass.)

Megaman - I believe that the Chancellor is the Shit Lord.

Bass - If this is true, our worst fears have been confirmed. He's now eligible for the Shit Lord discount at K-Mart while he still have to pay full price!! However, thanks to the wonderful prices at K-Mart, even if something's not on sale it's still a terrific bargain! Thanks, K-Mart!

(Bass smiles and gives a thumb's up.)

Megaman - Uh, what are you doing?

Bass - Publicity. We just made $500. C'mon, kid. I'll buy you a beer.

(After Bass is thrown out of the window, Data sits back.)

Data - Filthy nigger.

MSX - Gasp! Comical racism relief! You must be punished!! -zaps Trigger-

(Elsewhere, Dynamo is sweeping up in a building.)

Dynamo - Whew! Am I glad to be working in an office! No more falling body parts for me!

(He sees Bass flying toward him.)

Dynamo - Hey, is that a shooting star or…

(The body crashes through the window, and lands in front on him, as the head snaps off and knocks him down.)

Dynamo - Boss? Can I be moved to a different floor, please? Pretty please? OH GOD, I THINK IT JUST MOVED!!

(Time passes.)

Prometheus (formerly Data) - …and we will have peace. I get a hard-on just thinking about it. Thanks, Viagra!

(Prometheus holds up a pill bottle and smiles.)

Prometheus - We just made another $500. I'm buying you _two_ beers.

(During the Jedi killing spree, several clones enter a bathroom where a random Jedi is sitting in one of the stalls.)

Random Jedi - Oh, come on! Not like Elvis!

(As Yoda leaves, two Wookies converse.)

Wookie #1 - Well there goes Yoda. By the way, did you catch last night's Friends episode?

Wookie #2 - Yeah! I can't believe what happened to Phoebe!

Wookie #2 - I know!

(Later, X and Megaman enter a building.)

X - Not even the younglings made it.

(Someone coughs.)

Little Jimmy - I'm alive, Master Kenobi.

(X kneels down by the hurt kid.)

X - Are you in pain, little Jimmy?

Little Jimmy - Yes.

X - Do you want me to make the pain go away?

Little Jimmy - -cough- Yes.

X - Okay. -snaps his neck- As I was saying, not even the younglings made it.

(In weird room…)

X - I must see the truth.

(X turns on the camera and a fat stripper begins dancing on a pole. Seconds pass before he turns it off.)

X - I cannot watch anymore.

(Later, X talks to Iris.)

X - I'm so sorry.

(A silence follows.)

X - Well, I'm off to kill your lover. I'll tell him you said 'hi'.

(After X leaves, Prometheus walks up.)

Prometheus - Get a medical capsule. Immediately!

Elpizio - Um, I'm not a doctor or anything, but I'd say he's pretty well boned.

(Prometheus uses the force to fling Elpizio into the lava.)

Elpizio - Uh… one medical capsule coming up right away, sir!

(As Darth Hater, Grey's table moves up. However, he falls forward and onto his face. He stands up, then learns about Iris.)

Grey - Yeeeeeeeesssssss! Wait! Um… Nooooooooooooo!!

(At the funeral procession, a guy walks up.)

Random Guy - So, a priest, a rabbi and O.J. Simpson walk into a bar when…

(All around him, people are crying.)

Random Guy - Y'know, maybe this isn't the best time.

(Elsewhere…)

Random Guy - Thank you. Oh! Can we keep the midget, too? He's so cute!

(Iceman looks pissed.)

Iceman - Fuck off, you can.

MSX - Cue Episode Four!!

(As the episode starts, the words fly past an armada of alien saucers.)

Alien - My God! The earthlings knew of our coming! We must retreat! We can't deal with this kind of firepower!

(As the Storm Troopers bust down the door, everyone begins pointing at everyone else while going 'Zap! Zap! Zap zap!' In the middle of the gunfight, C-3PO and R2-D2 walk across the hall.)

Random Storm Trooper - Hold your fire! It's the droids!

(When they pass into the next room, the gunfire resumes. Later, the droids land on the desert planet.)

Colonel - What makes you think that their are settlements over there?

(Colonel walks past a sign that says, 'Settlements Over There'. In the large vehicle, Infinity Mijinion wakes up in a scrap heap. He looks around and beeps.)

Shaded Figure - Who are you?

(Mijinion turns around to face a heavily-armored robot. He beeps some more before the robot tilts its' head.)

Vectorman - Name's Vectorman and I shouldn't be here. Damn Master Chief.

(Later, an old man takes off his hood.)

Old Man - Come on out, little friend.

(The old man begins laughing in a creepy manner as X walks up and stabs him with his saber.)

X - _Now_ it's safe to come out.

(On the Death Star, a Pantheon is talking trash. Grey walks up and uses the Force to strangle him.)

Grey - You piss me off.

(In Mos Eisley, Vent walks towards the bar.)

Vent - I'm ready for anything.

(He promptly trips.)

(In the bar, Harpuia yawns as a Pantheon rants on about Jabba. He is about to shoot it when Hyenard breaks down the door.)

Hyenard - Me-sa so happy to see you all!

Harpuia - On the count of three, we shoot together.

(On the Death Star…)

Grey - Proceed with the operations.

Omega - What?!

Grey - Yes, it would appear as if I'm a dick, wouldn't it?

(Later, as X runs off, Vent closes the door, then screams as it crunches his foot. Then, the group find themselves in the garbage chute.)

Harpuia - Try and brace it with something!

(Harpuia picks up Roll.)

Roll - Not me, dumbass!

(As the group runs in front of Storm Troopers, they all stop.)

Storm Trooper - It's them! Blast 'em!

(Harpuia spins around and is suddenly in a redneck getup.)

Harpuia - Just like ma pappy used ta tell me: Never trust Whities!

(Harpuia gives a retarded redneck yell and begins chasing them as they runs away. Then, X finds himself in a battle with Grey.)

X - Stunt double!

(Phantom, dressed as X, walks into the room. Grey swings the saber and cuts Phantom in half. He then prods the clothes with his foot.)

Grey - You still alive?

(X blows a raspberry at him and runs off.)

(As Death Star is being attacked, Harpuia lets out a asinine remark.)

Harpuia - Come with me. I feel like saving my own ass.

(A few minutes later, Harpuia lets another one go.)

Harpuia - Here! Have a health dose of 'getting your ass kicked'!

(Dynamo peeks inside a room of the Death Star and slowly walks in.)

Dynamo - Okay… Everything's completely normal here. It's not like the reactor in front of me is going to explode or anything.

(The missiles hit the reactor and the Death Star explodes. Then, as the audience cheers, Vent slowly leans back to Roll.EXE.)

Vent - Well, this ending sucked.

MSX - Cue Episode Five!!

(In the introduction, the flying words tear through a Covenant ship. The Master Chief runs to the window and watches as the words fly through the Halo.)

Master Chief - Where the hell did that come from? And what does it say?

(On Hoth, Vent is on an unusual creature.)

Vent - What's wrong girl? You smell something?

(Vent turns to his right as Protoman.EXE, dressed as a yeti, roars in his face. They exchange screams for a minute or so before Vent falls to the ground, unconscious. Maylu walks up and places her hand on her hip.)

Maylu - True, his breath is bad, but with Orbit gum, look how white his teeth are!

(Protoman.EXE smiles before dragging Megaman away. Then, the scene briefly changes to the hangar.)

Roll.EXE - I'd rather kiss a Wookie!

Harpuia - I wouldn't if I were you. They tend to get a little… violent…

(In the cave, Vent uses the force to get his lightsaber which he cuts his feet off with.)

Vent - -screaming in pain- Why did I just do that?!

(In the Imperial ship, Grey sits in a pod as Omega walks up.)

Grey - What is it, General?

Omega - The rebel fleet is…

(The pod closes, then opens up again after a second.)

Omega - The rebel…

(The pod closes, remains closed for a few seconds, then begins to open again.)

Omega - The…

(The pod closes, then opens a few inches before closing twice. The pod then opens and a silence follows.)

Omega - The rebel fleet is…

(The pod closes as Omega throws up his hands and walks off. Then, after the long battle on Hoth, Harpuia flies into an asteroid belt. After navigating through it, he flies through a giant ring.)

Harpuia - What the fuck was that?!

(Master Chief looks up and watches it fly off.)

Master Chief - What the fuck was that?

(On Dagobah, Vent prepares to land.)

Vent - I'm gonna start the landing cycle!

(A wing breaks off.)

Vent - I'm gonna start the crashing cycle.

(On the Imperial ship, Omega walks in and stops as the door closes behind him. Next to him is a sign that says 'When entering room, stop and let door close behind before continuing.' Then, the scene changes to Dagobah as Vent walks up to Iceman.)

Iceman - Help you I can.

Vent - I don't think so. I'm looking for a great warrior. Not someone who's been exiled from Sesame Street.

Iceman - Watch your ass you'd better.

(On the Imperial ship, Grey tries to call Prometheus.)

Grey - What is thy bidding, my master?

(Some random old man screams.)

Old Man - Oh my God! Edna, come quick! That crazy boy from down the street is on TV!

Grey - What?!

Old Woman - Oh, he's gotten so big!

Grey - What… No! Where is Darth Hideous?

Old Man - There he goes ranting on about the Force and all the hubbajubba!

Grey - Damn you both!

(Grey stands up and the transmission is cut.)

Grey - I'll try again later.

(In Iceman's hut, Vent converses.)

Vent - I'm not afraid.

Iceman - You will be. You will be.

(Vent looks at Iceman.)

Vent - Yeah, what's a baby gonna do to scare me?

(Iceman begins laughing evilly, making Vent raise an eyebrow. Later, as Iceman goes to use the Force, he closes his eyes and grunts. He farts, then the ship begins rising.)

Vent - Ew…

(On the floating city, Lan acts like he's about to punch Harpuia. Then, he gives him a left hook.)

Harpuia - What the hell?! You're supposed to hug me!

Lan - I know. I just don't like you.

(In a room, Grey begins dancing as he deflects the bullets. Then, he grabs the gun with the Force.)

Grey - We would be honored if you joined us.

(Vile walks up.)

Vile - I'm back again, bitches! Hahahahaha!

(As Harpuia is lowered into carbon freeze, he speaks his last words.)

Harpuia - Going down. Bottom floor: I'm gonna fucking kill you all!

(During fight between Vent and Grey, Grey begins to talk.)

Grey - Only your hatered can destroy me. Either that or strapping me to a chair and forcing me to watch every aired episode of The Teletubbies. In Spanish.

(Dynamo, who is in a full-body cast, looks around, them rolls out in an electronic stretcher. There is a mop attached to the far end of it. He sighs just before Megaman's hand falls on him. Then, he lets forth a series of muffled screams before flipping over the side and falling out of the city.)

Grey - No, Luke. I am your father. I had nice hot sex with a girl named Padme. I became a Jedi. I rocked everyone's socks. I'd kill the infidels, come home, and have more hot sex with Padme. I also know for a fact that you were conceived in the back of her dad's pickup truck!

Vent - No! That's impossible!

Grey - Look in your heart! You know it to be true!

Vent - No, I mean it. It's impossible. I've never been in a pickup truck.

Grey - You haven't? Whatever… Anyways, come with me. It is the only way.

(Ventlets go of the pipe and falls down.)

Grey - Or you could be a stupid ass and kill yourself. Whatever works for you.

(As the ship flies away, Vent turns to Roll.EXE.)

Vent - You know, I really hate the ZX series.

Roll.EXE - I know, but they're the next series up. Wait… Aren't you…

(A silence follows before Giro walks in.)

Girouette - Is it time to start pwning some ass? Yeah!

(Giro does a cheesy pose and walks out.)

Vent - God be with us.

MSX - Cue Final Episode!!

(As the ZX portion starts, the flying letters head to Earth.)

Random Guy - Mister President!

Bush - What? Is Saddama still alive?

Random Guy - No, sir. Giant letters are heading for Earth

(Bush looks out of the window as the words fly towards Earth.)

Bush - My God… It's some kind of alien language…

(Actually, sir, it's English.)

Bush - Even worse! Prepare the super top secret laser beam.

Random Guy - We don't have a laser beam.

Bush - We don't?! Dang! Very well. Plan B. Take off every Zig for freedom!

(A bunch of small, TIE Fighter-like ships fly out of the top of the Washington monument and fly into space. They are promptly destroyed by lasers fired from the VI in Episode VI.)

Bush - Well, I'm outta here! Good thing I saved that exit strategy for something important like this!

(After being chewed out by Grey Giro faints and falls apart.)

Grey - The hell? Did he just… Whatever…

(Inside the base, Colonel steps back.)

Colonel - Oh my. Look at this, R-2. He's got a penis for a head. How silly is that?

(Suddenly, Hivolt flies in.)

Hivolt - Dude! Jabba's smoking a bong! Hurry your asses up!

(He flies off, leaving everyone else looking confused. Then, as a bunch of Galleons sing in a foreign language, Roll.EXE and Vent exchange looks.)

Roll.EXE - We're screwed.

Vent - At least you have a series! I just have two games!!

(Time passes.)

Colonel - The great Jabba wants to know why he should pay you fifty thousand.

(Roll.EXE, in disguise, holds up a cabbage.)

Colonel - Because she's got a cabbage!

(Jabba begins freaking out.)

Jabba - Jabba no wanna cabbaga!

(As Vent falls into pit, a large monster appears from behind a metal door.)

Vent - Damn… That's some RE3: Nemesis shit right there.

(As Vent kills the monster, Serpent runs out and begins bawling.)

Serpent - Old Yeller! No!!

In flagship. "Soon, you will learn to appreciate me." Pandora (Leia) looks away in disgust. "I'd appreciate your taking a shower or using Tic-Tacs or something."

(On the ship, Harpuia looks at Prairie after she lets forth a Wookie growl.)

Harpuia - What? Where?

(He spins around, sending Vile flying off.)

Vile - Oh shit…

(He rolls into the monster's mouth.)

Vile - This fucking blooooooooows!!

On the Death Star II, Prometheus walks down in a dark cape.)

Prometheus - I'm back, bitches, and I'm gonna kick some ass!

(In Iceman's hut, Vent stands up.)

Vent - Well, it took five movies, but someone finally killed Yoda. I mean, he finally died.

(Later, Vent converses.)

Vent - A threesome? Count me in!

(Vent walks in and kisses Roll.EXE He then turns to the camera and gives a thumbs-up and a creepy smile. In the docking area, as Harpuia goes to walk off, but pauses.)

Harpuia - One more thing. That little metal thing on your shirt keeps switching sides.

(He walks off as Lan looks down.)

Lan - The hell?

(As the ship approaches the Death Star II, Prometheus looks at the ceiling.)

Prometheus - Has that stain always been up there?

(During the Speeder showdown, Vent throws a Storm Trooper off of the bike.)

Vent - Only you can prevent…

(Suddenly, as the Speeders fly by, Smokey is suddenly cross-bodied by the Storm Trooper.)

Smokey - That does it! I'm gonna beat your head in with a shovel!

(As the group looks for Roll.EXE, someone snaps a photo of Prairie.)

Random Guy - I did it! Proof that Bigfoot exists! I'm rich! I'm rich! I'm…

(Prairie walks up looking very pissed off.)

Random Guy - I'm dead.

(On the Death Star II, Prometheus is spinning around in chair going 'Whee!' when Grey walks up. Prometheus stops spinning.)

Prometheus - I told you to await my orders.

(As the group is being carried away by Mettaurs, Vent looks around.)

Vent - Well, this is embarrassing.

(Outside of the Mettaur building, Vent tells Roll.EXE that she is his brother.)

Roll.EXE - Somehow, I always knew.

Vent - So did I.

(Vent plants a big wet kiss, then is slapped. Vent turns to the camera and gives another thumbs-up and another creepy smile.)

Colonel - Incest! I am a witness to incest!!

(Times passes.)

Grey - The Emperor has been expecting you.

Vent - I know, mother.

Grey - So, you've accepted the fact that I'm a transvestite.

Vent - Whoops, I messed up. I meant father.

Grey - I didn't mess up…

(As a Mettaur goes joyriding on a Speeder, hippies watch as he flies by.)

Hippie #1 - Dude, I just saw like a Mettaur joyriding.

Hippie #2 - Sweet!

Hippie #1 - Totally.

(On the Death Star II, Vent meets Prometheus.)

Prometheus - Soon, you will learn to call me 'daddy'.

Vent - You won't do to me what you did to my father.

(Grey shifts uncomfortably. Then, on Endor, several Storm Troopers are walking around.)

Storm Trooper - Why do I have the feeling that we're about to be beaten up by midgets?

(Colonel laughs.)

Colonel - Oh, it's much worse than that.

(Mettaurs jump onto the Storm Troopers.)

Storm Trooper - Mettaurs!! Retreat! Retreat!!

(Dynamo walks through the forest and sighs.)

Dynamo - I sure am glad that I've been rebuilt. No more broken bones for me!

(Suddenly, Mettaurs begin raining on him.)

Dynamo - Why God?! Why?!

(During the battle between Vent and Grey, Vent kicks Giro. He continues flipping through the air until Vent gets annoyed and snaps the wires with The Force.)

Prometheus - Now, fulfill your destiny and replace your father to be by my side.

(Vent shrugs, but stops.)

Vent - Nice try, Darth Hideous, but I happen to know that my father owes my ten bucks. He ain't dying 'til I'm paid back.

(After a brief fight scene, Grey snaps.)

Grey - Oh, you did it now, bitch.

(Grey picks up Prometheus and throws him into a bottomless pit.)

Grey - I may be a bad motherfucker, but he's the son of a bad motherfucker. Never cross us, bitch.

(A few minutes pass.)

Grey - Nothing can stop that now.

(Vent takes of Grey's helmet.)

Vent - Old Man Jenkins?

Grey - Take this mask off too.

(Flash forward to an hour later…)

Vent - Steve Urkel?

Grey - Off.

(Venttakes it off and Zero's head appears.)

Vent - What the…

Zero - Well, now I can die. Nothing I haven't dealt with before.

(Zero dies.)

Vent - Um… Okay…

(Seconds before the Death Star explodes, Dynamo walks up and turns on a beatbox. 'Another One Bites The Dust' begins playing.)

Dynamo - Ah, fuck life.

(The Death Star explodes. Then, as Vent burns Gre… I mean Zero's body, Zero lifts his head.)

Zero - Kinda ironic, what with episode three and whatnot.

(Zero goes back to being dead. Moments later, the entire cast of all six series walk up and take a bow. Dynamo hobbles in and props a bazooka on his shoulder.)

Dynamo - And now, to go out with a bang…

* * *

Next time: I parody the first X series game. Almost. 


	2. Megaman Maverick Hunter X

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #1

A Parody of Megaman Maverick Hunter X

By: The X series

* * *

(During the intro movie, Sigma launches missiles and they head towards Dr. Cain house.)

Dr. Cain - What?! I'm not supposed to die yet!!

(The missiles blow him to Hell and X gets angry. He grabs Sigma's face and rips the artificial skin. Sigma growls, then they get into a slapping contest. Finally, Sigma stabs X and he's repaired.)

X - -beams down- Let's do this! -fires charged shot-

(A car gets hit by the charge shot and not only begins smoking, but begins spinning out of control.)

Driver - Asshole!

(X quickly runs off and finds Vile.)

Vile - Zap!

(X gets zapped and Vile picks him up.)

Vile - Oh, goody! A stress ball!

(Zero dashes in and blows Vile's arm off.)

Vile - My arm!

(Vile jumps through the floor of the airship and flies off.)

Zero - X, you really suck.

X - I know.

Zero - I don't think I've ever seen a hunter as sucky as you.

X - I know.

Zero - You need steroids. -beams off-

X - No, I don't. -beams off-

(X goes to Chill Penguin's stage and finds the first capsule.)

Light - X, I must've screwed up while building you because you really suck. These capsules can update your armor, but none of them will help you stop sucking. Nor will you ever get the ability to shoot up! Ahahahahaha!

(X gets to the boss.)

X - -gasp- It's Chill Pengein!

Penguin - It's Penguin!

X - Pengein!

Penguin - Penguin!

X - Pen…

Penguin - Good…

X - …gein!

(Penguin roars with anger and explodes.)

Random Voice - You got Shotgun Ice!

(X pulls out a shotgun and begins firing balls of ice cream. He then chooses Spark Mandrill's stage.)

X - Agh! I got zapped!

(X reaches Mandrill.)

Mandrill - I'll zap the piss out of you! -does so- Now, mop it up!

(X blows him up with Shotgun Ice and beams off.)

Random Voice - You got Electric Spark!

X - Well, no shit it's electric!

(X chooses Armored Armadillo's stage and finds the Hadouken capsule.)

Light - You've found my mystical, magical capsule that only appears when you've got everything in the game! Congrats! Now take your power-up and get lost!

(X gets the Hadouken and meets Armadillo.)

Armadillo - I'm Armored Armadillo!

X - No shit. Armadillo's have armor. It's kind of their thing. Great choice of words, Capcom.

(X zaps the piss out of Armadillo and beams off.)

Random Voice - You got Rolling Shield!

X - It's not a shield! It's just a pink ball of… something…

(X goes to Launch Octopus' stage.)

X - Agh! Giant snake thing!

(X beats the giant snake thing and reaches Octopus.)

Octopus - Oh no! Not rolling balls of… something… That's my one weakness! -begins bouncing around, but is killed anyways-

Octopus - At least my explosion will be beautiful.

(Octopus explodes and X holds up a card that reads, '1.5'.)

Random Voice - You got Homing Missile!

X - No way! Missiles that home? That's not overused or anything!

(X chooses Boomer Kuwanger's stage.)

X - The hell's a Kuwanger?

Kuwanger - Actually, I'm a stag beetle.

X - Then why not call you Boomer Beetle?

Kuwanger - Actually, it's Boomerang Kuwanger now.

X - Okay. Why not call you Boomerang Beetle?

Kuwanger - Because my brother, Gravity Beetle, is called Beetle.

X - So? Why not use 'Beetle' twice? You used 'Flame' three times.

Kuwanger - I really don't know.

X - Same here.

(X kills Kuwanger and beams off.)

Random Voice - You got Boomerang Cutter!

X - Oh shit! Boomerang scizzors?! Finally, something worth using!

(X chooses Sting Chameleon's level and finds the mid-boss.)

X - What is this thing? Who made it? Why is it here? And, most importantly… Why the hell is this thing so hard to kill?!

(X finally beats the mid-boss and finds Chameleon.)

Chameleon - I'll blend into the background so you can't see me!

X - I'll use my scizzors and cut you tongue to pieces.

(X does so and Chameleon dies.)

Random Voice - You got Chameleon Sting!

(X charges the attack.)

X - Chameleons blend into the background. They _do not_ phase through things. Way to mess up a weapon, Capcom!

(X goes to Storm Eagle's level. He enters the ship and, seconds later, the entire ship explodes for no reason and X is spontaneously on the top of it.)

X - The hell?

Eagle - Hohoho! I'll knock your ass off of the ship with Storm Tornado and you'll have no choice but to fall to your death!

X - I could just beam back to…

Eagle - No choice!!

(X kills Eagle and takes his weapon.)

Random Voice - You got Storm Tornado!

X - Finally! Another weapon worth using!

(X goes to Flame Mammoth's stage.)

X - The lava's an instant kill! But, by beating Pengein, it's spontaneously frozen! Yay!

(X gets to Mammoth.)

Mammoth - I'm huge!

X - You're stupid!

Mammoth - I'll light your ass on fire!

X - I'll blow you away with the powers… of… wind? How the hell's that supposed to work? He's three times my size!

(X pulls it off and beats Mammoth.)

Random Voice - You got Fire Wave!

X - A third weapon worth using? Oh, shit! That's freaking awesome!

(X gets to the first fortress stage and gets to Vile.)

Vile - Zap! Again!

(Vile grabs X.)

Vile - I'll put you here, then walk over here and laugh at you so Zero can jump on my back and blow my armor to Hell. But that'll never happen!

(That happens.)

Vile - Damn! Wait! No… No! Not the rolling balls of… something… Anything but that!

(X kills Vile and kneels by Zero.)

Zero - I'm pretty dead. -dies-

(X rips off Zero's arm and connects it to his own shoulder.)

X - Yeah! Now I've got Zero's buster parts!

(X goes through the next few bosses and gets to Bosspider.)

X - Well, that's classic. Fighting the bosses. Again! Geez… What the?

(A spider comes down from the wall.)

X - Okay…

(X destroys it and moves on.)

X - Ho-hum… More bosses, more time wasted. What the?

(A face appears in the background and X flips out.)

X - I'm gonna die!

(X beats Randga Bangda and moves on.)

X - The hell is this thing?

(A head and a tank appear.)

X - Okay, two parts of entirely different things… I guess I can work with that…

(X beats it and gets to Sigma.)

Sigma - How 'bout I let my dog no one's ever seen before attack you first!!

X - Fine with me.

(X uses his 'Euthanasia Buster' and 'puts down' the dog.)

Sigma - Scruffy! No! Now you die!

(X beats Sigma's first form and he reforms.)

X - Oh, geez… The shit just hit the fan…

Mandrill - Sorry…

(X wins and poses.)

X - I'm awesome!

MSX - But wait! There's more!

(The game restarts and Vile is now playable.)

Vile - Score.

(Vile beats Penguin.)

Random Voice - You got Frozen Castle!

Vile - Not much of a castle, but okay.

(Vile beats Flame Mammoth.)

Random Voice - You got… six to seven new weapons!

X - Hold it! Why does he get seven weapons from beating one boss?!

Vile - 'Cause I'm cool and have three ways of attacking.

X - Douche.

(Vile gets to the third fortress level where he fights X and Zero.)

Vile - Wait… Didn't Zero and I die in the first fortress level?

Zero - What are you talking about?

Vile - Whatever?

(Vile beats the shit out of them, but Zero holds him and Vile blows a hole in his chest.)

Vile - Totally… ungroovy… -dies-

Inafune - Just like the sales! Forget the sequel! I'm going to work on Legends 3! Oh, wait. No, I'm not! -uproarious laughter-

MSX - You'd better or I'll hunt you down…

* * *

Next time: Snakeman picks up his whip once more. 


	3. Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #2

A Parody of Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade

By: The Classic series

* * *

(In the opening scene, the baddies chase a young Snakeman.) 

Random Crook - Look at us. We've hit rock bottom. We're chasing a fucking Boy Scout wit the intention of mugging him!

(Later, Geminiman forces Snakeman to recite the numbers.)

Snakeman - One. Two. Three.

Geminiman - In retard.

Snakeman - -sigh- Uh. Ur. Duh. Eh. Ack! P-tang. Pfth! Urk…

(At the end of the flashback, Snakeman raises his head.)

Snakeman - That was fun.

(He gets punched.)

Snakeman - That… not so much.

(In the fancy room, Snakeman converses with Heatman.)

Heatman - The Holy Grail, Dr. Jones.

(The Black Knight comes in.)

Black Knight - Alright! Which one of you yellow bastards called me in here?

(The Black Knight is forced outside and the conversation continues.)

Heatman - Let me tell you another bedtime story, Dr. Jones. This one is about an egg named Humpty Dumpty…

(Later, under the chur… Er… Library… Yes… Library…)

Snakeman - Pass me the light.

(Snakeman grabs the lighter, but drops it into the petroleum. He is sent ablaze and begins dancing around frantically. Then, the two find themselves in a tunnel.)

Snakeman - Aw, rats.

(Roll looks into the room at a hundred or so rats and a man sitting in the middle of them.)

Roll - Weren't you from Enron?

Enron Guy - Eh, fuck off!

(Later, while Roll and Snakeman are talking inside the room, Gutsman listens on the outside.)

Gutsman - This argument is making no sense.

(At the castle, Mickey Mouse opens the door.)

Mickey Mouse - If you're a Scottish, then I'm Mickey Mouse!

(A brief silence follows before Snakeman punches him out.)

Snakeman - I've always wanted to punch out Mickey Mouse while speaking with a Scottish accent.

(Suddenly, the parody fizzes and MSX begins yelling.)

MSX - God dammit!!

Snakeman - What?

MSX - The movie's so screwed up, its' skipping the last half of the movie.

Snakeman - So, now what?

MSX - We wait.

Narrator - Several months later…

(A.N. I'm serious. I waited months for the movie store to fix the problem. Three guesses as to what happened…)

MSX - Fuck this.

(MSX hits a button.)

Random Voice - Attention all Parody Show staff. Please fasten your seatbelts as we're about to make an unscheduled ending.

Snakeman - What?

(Snakeman spontaneously flies into the wall.)

Random Voice - Thank you and please ride Benevolent Ruler Airlines again.

Snakeman - -groggily- Wha…

MSX - Should've fastened your seatbelt.

Clyde - We apologize greatly and assure you that this will never happen again.

* * *

Next time: Data wants to play a game. 


	4. Saw

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #3

A Parody of Saw

By: The Legends series

* * *

(As the parody begins, Teasel wakes up in a tub full of Jell-O, freaks out, and flips over the side.)

Teasel - I had an unnatural incident with Jell-O during my childhood.

(When the lights turn on, they see Trigger in the middle of the floor with a gun in one hand, a tape recorder in the other, and a dead hooker by his crotch.)

Glyde - That leaves you to wonder…

Teasel - Agh! Do you see any scars?!

Glyde - What?

Teasel - -unzips pants- You wake up in a bathtub and before you know it, your crotch is on Ebay.

Glyde - Put that away!

(They finally decide to grab the recorder, but Teasel can't reach it.)

Glyde - Use your pants.

Teasel - What?

Glyde - Your pants. Use them.

(Teasel puts the tape into the recorder and presses play.)

Data - Hello, gentlemen. I'd like to play a game.

Teasel - Bastard.

Data - As you can see by Trigger's body, I'm tired of putting up with everyone's shit. So, I feel like putting you through a series of demented and very cruel tests to see if you deserve to live or not. In my opinion, you all deserve to die, so at one point or another, I'll kill you. Enjoy!

Glyde - That son of a bitch…

(Glyde puts in his tape.)

Data - Just remember… X marks the spot to the threshold.

(They both turn around and see X painting an arrow on the wall.)

MSX - Get him off the set!

(Instead of hacksaws, they find nail clippers in the bag.)

Teasel - Lovely…

(Teasel narrates about the past incidents.)

Teasel - After Barrell and Von Bleucher died, Roll was the only one who survived.

Glyde - I don't like where this is going.

(When Glyde passes Teasel his wallet, his 'favorite' picture is one where Tron is posing nude. Teasel snaps and throws his broken hacksaw at Glyde.)

Glyde - What the hell?! Are you trying to kill…

Teasel - YES!!

(After finding Jigsaw's hideout, a Birdbot and a Servbot save a man, but the Servbot is attacked by Jigsaw. The blade goes through his neck and his head just pops off.)

Servbot - This can't be good.

(After going down the stairs, the Servbot finds the Birdbot dead.)

Servbot - Oh well. I never really liked him.

(Later, Glyde tosses Teasel a cigarette and he begins smoking. Then, in a very melodramatic way, Teasel plays dead, but is soon shocked.)

Teasel - Goddamn, that stung!

(After some time, they find pictures with the janitor in it.)

Glyde - I didn't know you could bend like that… -looks at next picture- Wait a minute! That prick's in my house! The two-timing whore!

(Teasel begins screaming and grabs the hacksaw. However, the chain spontaneously appears around his neck.)

Teasel - This could cause issues.

(When Trigger stands up, he rips off a costume and reveals Data. He hops to the door and grabs the handle.)

Data - Game over!

(He slams the door on his foot.)

Data - Goddamn! That really smarts!

(He then shuts the door as Teasel screams.)

* * *

Next time: Another one of the most famous movies falls victim to the Zero series. 


	5. Casablanca

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #4

A Parody of Casablanca

By: The Zero series

* * *

(During the opening of parody, Zero freaks out.)

Zero - The world's become monochromatic! The aliens are attacking!

Copy X - Either that or Mickey Mouse is going back to his roots and everyone's celebrating.

(As Phantom running away from the police, a Pantheon yells, 'Bang!' Phantom curves his back in.)

Phantom - Ow! I've been shot with a blank. Time to die. -dies-

MSX - Hold it! Does this take place in France?

Zero - I think so.

MSX - Then why is there a guy named Rick? Shouldn't it be Antoine or something?

(In the bar, Zero walks into the garage and walks up to a car.)

Zero - Hello, Ferrari.

Ferrari - Hello, Zero.

(Outside, two men walk up, salute, and walk inside.)

Zero - Why'd the Italian guy give the Nazi salute?

(As Harpuia makes a run for it, he holds the door shut.)

Zero - You've got to be kidding me? There's five guards heading towards him. He can't hold that door closed.

(Five guards begin pulling on the door, but to no avail.)

Zero - Or the guards are just really weak.

Ahnold - They are wimpy men! -Ahnold noises-

(Later, as a woman begins singing, Zero comes in, beams her over the head, and walks off.)

Zero - Find me better entertainment!

(As Zero and Ciel are driving down the road in Zero's flashback, MSX snorts.)

MSX - That's some Grade A special effects right there…

(At the train station, Zero gets a note.)

Zero - 'I'm not coming with. You have the biggest pair of numb nuts I've ever seen. Your feet smell. Go to Hell. Ciel.'

(Zero slowly gets on the train and tosses the note away.)

Zero - She said my feet smell…

(In the bar, Harpuia is talking about vultures while pickpocketing a man. Then, as Harpuia leaves, Fefnir tackles him.)

Fefnir - Reaching into my pocket, taking my wallet, and putting it in your own! Think I didn't notice, huh? -beats the shit out of Harpuia-

(As three Pantheons have a toast to America, Bush jumps in.)

Bush - To the greatest world power the world has ever known. Just try and stop us, Nazi scum!

(After exiting his office, Zero looks around. Everyone is singing until he shoots his buster in the air.)

Zero - Why do we have such a big fucking vase?! What's the point of it? I mean, look at it! You could stuff a dead body in there!

(Moments later, Omega demands that the bar be closed.)

Omega - This bar is to be closed immediately.

Zero - I close this bar when you shut your mouth.

Omega - How dare you!

Zero - It's very easy. You're one of those insult-prone people.

(Later, after forming a trap, Omega asks about the letters.)

Omega - Where were they?

Zero - Up my ass and around the corner.

Omega - Serves me right for not be a proctologist.

(At the airport, Zero and Omega watch as the plane flies off and explodes.)

Zero - Omega, I think that this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

(Omega stabs Zero in the back, looks both ways, then turns into him.)

Omega - If you say so, cockfag! -runs off-

* * *

Next time: Megaman experiences divine intervention. 


	6. Pulp Fiction

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #5

A Parody of Pulp Fiction

By: The Battle Network series

* * *

(Glyde is talking with Medi.)

Glyde - This one story told of an old man who walked into a bank and said, 'If you don't give me all your money, I'll take off all of my clothes and dance around.'

Medi - Did it work?

Glyde - I don't know. I couldn't hear the end of the story over my vomiting.

(Glyde yells 'Garcon' to a waitress.)

Waitress - Garcon means 'genocide'. -walks off-

(Glyde and Medi stand up and announce that they're holding the place up. Just then, an unnatural sounding explosion occurs followed by a nasty odor.)

Old Man - Oh no! My bowels!

(After talking about fast food and actresses, Megaman and Protoman walk into an elevator and promptly punch out the two business men that stand in there. Then, after talking about foot massages, Protoman glances at a conveniently-placed clock.)

Protoman - Come on. Let's get into character.

(Megaman pulls out two Power rangers costumes.)

Megaman - How come I have to be the pink one?

(As Pharaohman jabbers on, Protoman takes a gun and shoots himself in the chest.)

Protoman - I'm sorry… Did I break… your consent… ration… Medic…

(After reciting the bible, Protoman and Megaman begin to shoot Wily. However, none of the bullets hit him and he shrugs. He begins looking at a magazine while they try to shoot him as the scene fades out.)

(Later, Bass introduces three men to Megaman.)

Bass - This is Panda, Choco, and… uh…

Clyde - Clyde.

Bass - Right! Clyde.

(Later, Megaman is walking through the restaurant and he sees Zorro walk by.)

Zorro - What? Even Mexican heroes need money.

Megaman - Whatev…

Zorro - Damn Americans and your slang…

(A few minutes pass.)

Megaman - Wait. You don't put bourbon or nothing in that shake?

Waiter - Actually, we put heroin in it.

Megaman - Oh… Okay then…

(As Megaman and Roll walk onto the stage, 'What Is Love' begins playing. Megaman begins bobbing his head to the music.)

Roll - Oh God…

(After taking Roll to Bass' house, he brings down the adrenaline shot and stabs himself in the leg.)

Megaman - Fuck!

Bass - Come on, man! Try again!

(Megaman pulls out the shot and brings it down again.)

Bass - My fucking hand!

Megaman - Sorry!

(Megaman yanks out the shot, brings it down, and stabs Maylu, who's standing behind him.)

Megaman - Fuck!

Bass - Fuck!

Maylu - Fudge!

Bass - Fudge?

Maylu - I like fudge. I don't like swearing.

Megaman - Pansy.

(After explaining the story of the watch, Shadowman gets to the 'good part'.)

Shadowman - He hid this were no one would find it. His ass. When he died of dysentery, he gave the watch to me and I stuffed it up my ass. And now, I give it to you.

Slashman - No, thank you…

(After Slashman kills his opponent with his claws, Protoman walks up to Lan.)

Lan - I'm ready to scout the Earth for that motherfucker. If he goes to Russia, I want a man ready to pop out of every Goddamn Tetris block in the country.

(Time passes.)

Slashman - You were looking in the mirror and wished you had some dick.

Iris - A dick! Dicks are sexy.

Slashman - Well, you shouldn't wish for one 'cause you already got one. -slap- What?! It was in the script!

(After talking about the watch, Slashman returns to his apartment and gets it.)

Slashman - I've gotten what I came back for, buuuuut… I think that I can spare some time for some Pop-Tarts.

(An awkward silence follows. Then, after killing Megaman, Slashman drives off with a smirk and stops at a red light just as Lan walks by.)

Lan - Motherfucker.

MSX - Nothing parodied here. I just thought that this was a funny line.

(After the scene with Zed and 'divine intervention', Megaman accidentally shoots Elecman.)

Protoman - Oh, shit! What the fuck was that for?!

Megaman - I didn't like the guy.

Protoman - Neither did I, but in mid-sentence? Come on, man…

(After the scene with Wolf, Megaman and Protoman talk in the diner.)

Megaman - They've got a name for that. It's called a bum.

Clyde - -walks up- Actually, we prefer to be called hobos.

Megaman - Whatever.

(After the conversation, Glyde and Medi leave.)

Megaman - I think we'd better leave.

Protoman - I think so too.

(Protoman puts his wallet in his pocket, then starts.)

Protoman - I just gave that motherfucker fifteen grand. -runs outside- Get back here, motherfucker!!

* * *

Next time: It's a showdown with the ZX series. 


	7. Holy Crap! Another Family Feud Parody!

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #6

Holy Crap! Another Family Feud Parody!

By: The ZX series

* * *

Grey - Welcome to the Family Feud! On the left, I have Models X, Z, A, O, and W. On my right, I have Models H, L, F, P, and a. So, let's play! Model X. Model H. Front and center. 

(The two models float up.)

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

Grey - We surveyed MSX. Top three answers on the board. Name an iconic video game moment.

Model H - -rings in- Mario.

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_Mario's First Jump - Aspirin_

Grey - Model X?

Model X - Megaman. Duh!

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_Megaman 2 Title Screen - 2 _

_Mario's First Jump - 1_

(Grey walks over to Model X's party.)

Model Z - Probably something old school. Like Pong.

_X_

Model A - Pac-Man?

_XX_

Model O - Breakout.

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Breakout Ball Getting To The Top Of The Board - 97_

_Megaman 2 Title Screen - 2 _

_Mario's First Jump - 1_

Grey - Damn, that was fast. Okay, next board.

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

Grey - Damn…

(Models Z and L float up.)

Grey - All eight answers on the board. Again, we surveyed MSX. Name a great game that no one's played.

Model Z - Ico.

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Ico - 10/10_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

Grey - In that case, over to Model L's party.

Model Z - What?!

Model L - That's what you get for being a smartass.

Grey - Model F?

Model F - Klonoa.

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Ico - 10/10_

_--------- - --_

_Klonoa: Door To Phantomile - 10/10_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

Grey - Model P?

Model P - An earthworm. An earthworm named… Pete.

_X_

Model P - Crap.

Grey - Model a?

(Itself being pixilated, Model a does nothing but spew forth a bunch of pixilated noises.)

Grey - I'm just going to assume that that's wrong. Model H?

Model H - Earthworm Jim.

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Ico - 10/10_

_--------- - --_

_Klonoa: Door To Phantomile - 10/10_

_--------- - --_

_Earthworm Jim - 9/10_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

Grey - Model L?

Model L - I'm out of ideas.

_XXX_

Grey - Hehehe… Porno… Model X, anything?

Model X - I'm out, too.

_X_

Grey - Well, then Model H's team gets the points. What were the rest of the answers?

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Ico - 10/10_

_Spider: The Video Game - 10/10_

_Klonoa: Door To Phantomile - 10/10_

_Gadget Twins - 9/10_

_Earthworm Jim - 9/10_

_Quackshot - 9/10_

_Vigilante 8 - 8/10_

_Gex - 8/10_

Grey - Gadget Twins?

(Everyone turns to MSX.)

MSX - It's a very awesome schmup. No projectiles as far as I can remember, though.

Grey - Whatever.

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

(Models A and F float up.)

Grey - Top five answers. Surveyed MSX. Let's do this! Name a game that MSX has a personal vendetta against.

Model A - rings in- Sonic?

Grey - More specific.

Model A - NEXT GEN?

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_Sonic NEXT GEN - Conquered_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

MSX - I have indeed conquered it!

Grey - Model F?

Model F - More Sonic!

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_Sonic Rush - Beaten_

_Sonic NEXT GEN - Conquered_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

MSX - Being as ridiculously hard as it is, I can deal with that.

Model A - You copied my answer!

Model F - Tough shit!

Grey - Okay, Model P?

Model P - I haven't a clue.

Model H - Same here.

Model L - Not a one.

Model a - -confused pixilated noises-

Grey - And over here?

Model X - This is a pretty hard category. We don't have anything.

MSX - Pansies. Fine, because there's more models that I like in it, Model X's group wins.

_Board:_

_Cabela's Alaskan Adventure - -censored-_

_Sonic Rush - Beaten_

_Sonic NEXT GEN - Conquered_

_Ecco: Defender of the Future - Damn 2__nd__ Level_

_Gunstar Super Heroes - Damn Seven Force…_

Grey - Cabela's?

(Everyone turns to MSX, who's got an evil twitch in his eye.)

MSX - Cabela's Alaskan Adventure. Developed by Beelzebub. Produced by Lucifer. Created by Satan himself. Double-checked by Hitler and Stalin. This game is _the_ single most boring, most curse-inducing, most ridiculous time I've _ever_ had playing video games!! If I ever encounter this Cabela fellow, I will make certain to make my opinion about him heard…

(Everyone backs up as they notice the malevolent aura surrounding MSX.)

Grey - Um… Right… Two models, please.

(Models O and A float up.)

Grey - Okay, final round. Name a famous Joe.

Model O - Pesci.

Grey - What a black policeman says to a white delinquent.

Model O - You have the right to remain silent.

Grey - Fill in the blank. Have you -blank- sister yet?

Model O - Had sex with my.

Grey - Complete the phrase. It takes two to -blank-.

Model O - Hold her down.

Grey - Fill in the blank. All your -blank- are belong to us.

Model O - Sex toys.

Grey - Kinda perverted, aren't we?

Model O - Maybe you are, but I'm not.

(A brief silence follows.)

Model A - Did we just skip a round?

MSX - Time constraints. Ninja Warrior's almost on.

Grey - So, let's see what happened.

_Ding!_

_Pesci - 1_

_Miranda rights - 1_

…_have sex with my… - 0_

_Hold her down - 0_

_Sex toys - 0_

Model O - Asshole.

Grey - Bring out Model A!

(Model A floats in.)

Grey - Here goes. Name a famous Joe.

Model A - Sniper.

Grey - What a black policeman says to a white delinquent.

Model A - Freeze, Cracker!

Grey - Fill in the blank. Have you -blank- sister yet?

Model A - Mettaur.

Grey - Complete the phrase. It takes two to -blank-.

Model A - Tango.

Grey - Fill in the blank. All your -blank- are belong to us.

Model A - Bass.

(Everyone turns back to MSX, who is chuckling.)

MSX - What? I thought it was funny.

Grey - Something tells me that your got all the number one answers.

Model A - Same here.

Grey - Wanna beer?

Model A - Sure. You buying?

Grey - Why not?

MSX - Loophole! Lol.

* * *

Next time: I take one of the most sensitive issues out there and I take a dump on it. 


	8. Religion

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #7

A Parody of Religion

By: The X series

* * *

X - Hold it! I refuse to take part in this. 

Zero - As do I!

MSX - Come on, guys! It's for comedic purposes only. -thinks- I should really copyright that. -shakes head- Anyways, you're doing it whether you want to or not.

MSX - Come on. Now, let's begin with my own personal religion. Christianity. Ah, the most popular of all. I think… Anyways, there's three things I never got. 1.) If God can do everything, can he make a rock he cannot break? 2.) If God spoke the universe into existence, then where did God come from?

X - And three?

MSX - At the end of the Bible, it says Jesus ascended into Heaven. What happens after? We know dinosaurs existed and Christians believe that God ascended into Heaven, so where do the two meet. I have the answer.

Zero - Which is?

MSX - The Flintstones!

(A long silence follows.)

Axl - Say what?

MSX - It makes sense! You've got a people left behind as Jesus flies into Heaven and you've got dinosaurs before humans walked the Earth. In truth, after Jesus left, us humans formed a cartoony bond with dinosaurs and made the first cars. The first lawn mowers. The first McDonalds. The essentials!

Sigma - Uh-huh…

MSX - …and so, Jesus lifted off of the ground and descended into Heaven as the angels began singing…

Angels - Flintstones! We're the Flintstones! We're one great big family! In the. Town of Bedrock. We're gonna have a yabba-doo time. A dabba-doo time. We'll have a gay old time!

Judas - Did you hear something?

(Ahnold walks in, blows him away, and walks off.)

MSX - One more thing. Back then, people lived to be a thousand years old. Now, you're lucky if you make it to a hundred. That shows you just how much this day in age sucks!

X - I doubt you got the lyrics right.

MSX - What?

Zero - The song. We think you got it wrong.

MSX - I think that you should shut up. On a final note, The Passion of the Christ, as controversial as it is and/or was is still a great movie. Next is Atheism.

X - That's not a religion.

MSX - Maybe, but its' along the same lines. Anyways, atheists believe that when you die, you become part of the earth. My question is this. Do you really want to be part of the earth? I mean, what with littering, pollution, and sweaty ass lumberjacks?

Axl - Thanks for the visual.

MSX - You're welcome. Next is Confucianism.

Sigma - What?

MSX - A religion founded by Confucius.

(A pause follows.)

MSX - Do I really have to say anything?

X - No.

Zero - I'm good.

MSX - Next is Jehovah's Witness.

Sigma - Again, not a religion.

MSX - Again, along the same lines. Is there anything more worthless to do with your life than to belittle someone's religion? It's like the religious KKK.

Zero - Point being?

MSX - Hindu. Islam. Buddhism.

X - What about them?

MSX - I don't know crap about them except Buddhism has something to do with monks.

Sigma - Monks are kinda cool.

MSX - So true. Then, there's Taoism.

X - Tao. Isn't that like the Yin Yang thing?

MSX - Basically. And, finally, Judaism.

Sigma - Is that basically the same as Christianity?

MSX - Yeah, but it focuses on the old ways. Like the Chinese!

Axl - That's kind of racist.

(MSX ponders for a moment.)

Axl - Oh dear…

* * *

Next time: I parody the first Megaman. Almost. 


	9. Megaman: Powered Up

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #8

A Parody of Megaman: Powered Up

By: The Classic series

* * *

MSX - Like before, the original was remade, so I'll parody the remake. Here goes.

(Megaman runs onto the stage.)

Megaman - Why the fuck is everything chibi?!

(The scene changes Rock runs up to Roll.)

Roll - Something's happening!

(Wily appears on the screen.)

Rock - Yeah. Now it is.

Wily - What's this? Oh… You're just a helper robot! You're no threat to me!

Rock - Yeah, I mean it's not like I'm going to become a crime-fighting robot and go on to make an ungodly amount of sequels, of which, only the first few are really worth playing…

(Rock looks at the camera.)

Rock - What? I'm just reading the prompter.

(Rock becomes Megaman.)

Dr. Light - No… You're no longer Mega… You are… Megaman!

Megaman - Um… Okay… I understand that this is a remake of the original game, so why can't my name be Rock like it was before. I mean, Mega? Come on…

(Megaman heads off.)

Megaman - Dr. Light, with all this advanced technology, can't you just beam me to the Robot Master?

(Light slaps Megaman.)

Light - Never question my authority!

(Megaman sets off to fight Fireman.)

Megaman - Oh God… Even the music is chibified…

(Megaman reaches Fireman.)

Fireman - Burn! Burn! Burn to the ground! Burn!

Megaman - Oh God! Not again! Wait… Why do you sound like a redneck obsessed with fire?

Fireman - I don't know. Fire!

(Megaman takes Fire Storm and heads to Gutsman' stage.)

Megaman - Okay, everything seems fine here.

Gutsman - I don't care who you are! If you mess up my site, I'll mess you up good.

Megaman - What?

(Gutsman spawns a box in front of him.)

Megaman - Oh shit!

(Megaman wins and heads to Timeman's stage.)

Megaman - Wow. Time. That hasn't been done before.

Timeman - Shut up! You're wasting time!

Megaman - Okay, I'm going to kill you and put an end to your time puns.

(Megaman wins and heads to Oilman's stage.)

Megaman - Okay, several things wrong here. 1.) Oil Slider is an absolutely worthless weapon. 2.) He's acting like a pervert and no ones cares. And 3.) He's about as predictable as a turn-based RPG like FFX.

(Megaman wins and heads to Elecman's stage.)

Elecman - Megaman, you're looking awfully bright today.

Megaman - Wow… I mean, wow… You sound _really_ gay.

(Megaman wins and heads to Iceman's stage.)

Iceman - There's something in front of me, sir. Oh? Well, then shoot it down!

Megaman - Wow. Let's hear it for the schizo.

(Megaman wins and heads to Bombman's stage.)

Megaman - Actually, you're fine. You're Bombman after all. If your obsessed with bombs, it can easily be explained. But, nonetheless…

(Megaman wins and heads to Cutman's stage.)

Cutman - -gasp- Mr. Megaman!

Megaman - I can get used to this. Be my butler.

Cutman - I don't want to!

Megaman - Wrong answer!

(Megaman wins and heads to Wily's fortress.)

Yellow Devil - Bumo!

Megaman - Wow! This thing talks. Can it speak English?

Yellow Devil - Bumo bumo bumo.

Megaman - English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?!

Yellow Devil - -random assortment of 'Bumos'-

Megaman - Apparently not.

(Megaman wins and continues.)

Random Robot - Skin-ny dip-pers bad. Must e-lim-I-nate skin-ny dip-pers.

Megaman - Right… You just try and stop me.

(Megaman eventually wins and moves on.)

Megaman - Lovely. The typical revisit boss fight cliché. Just perfect.

(Megaman beats the bosses again and faces Copy Megaman.)

Megaman - If you're supposed to be a perfect copy, what's with the scarf?

Copy Megaman - Shut up!

(Megaman wins and finds Wily.)

Wily - Oh no! I totally didn't see this coming, but I'm coincidentally prepared for just this occasion!

(Megaman beats both forms, then runs home as the credits play.)

Megaman - Damn… Dr. Light… and his… teleporting machine…

(Megaman reaches his house, then passes out.)

Megaman - Okay. Afterthoughts. Why is Cutman the only wall-jumping robot here? Are we really that stupid? Next, why does Roll… have a… broom… -failing to hold in laughter-

Roll - Oh, bite me!

Megaman - Okay, good things. Construction mode and challenge mode. Really awesome, but still…

(Protoman beams down to the tune of his whistle.

Megaman - -in awe- This totally makes up for everything…

* * *

Next time: One of the most ridiculous animes of all time finally gets parodied. 


	10. Dragonball Z

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #9

A Parody of Dragonball Z

By: The Legends series

* * *

(Trigger and Teasel and floating in air wearing a wig with numerous other wigs stapled to it.)

Teasel - Your life ends!

Trigger - I wouldn't count on it!

Narrator - Will Trigger's eyebrow twitch? Will Teasel move a few inches to the left? Find out next time!

(One 'next time' later…)

Trigger - I'm almost dead, but I won!

Roll - Let's jabber on about nothing!

Trigger - Let's do that!

(Three episodes later…)

Trigger - Oh no! Someone's interrupted our training! It's off I go!

Narrator - Will Gok… I mean, Trigger succeed? Will MSX fire the narrator for almost screwing up? Find out next time!

(Another 'next time' later…)

MSX - You're fired!

Trigger - Oh no! I'm dead, but I won!

(The next episode arrives.)

Trigger - I'm alive?

Data - We brought you back using the power of the tennis balls!

MSX - Take two.

Data - The basketballs!

MSX - Take three.

Data - Baseballs!

MSX - Take four.

Data - Oh balls!

MSX - Take five.

Data - Dragonballs!

MSX - Yay…

Narrator - What will become of that peckerhead Data? Will MSX kill him or just screw with him some more? Find out next time!

(Several episodes of pointless talk later…)

Trigger - Gasp! Another villain!

Barrell - This one's super-strong, Krackerot! We'll need to do the gay fusion dance.

Trigger - Let's do that!

(Trigger and Barrell dress in drag and do the tango. They then fuse into Juno.)

Juno - How nice…

(Juno falls face-first off of the tower.)

Data - Why is there a tower this big? Didn't God get angry with the Tower of Babel? So, why hasn't this one been destroyed? Or better yet, why hasn't anyone noticed this before?

Narrator - Will anyone notice the mile-high tower? What happened to Juno? Why do they have to dress in drag to fuse? Find out next time!

(Yet another 'next time' later…)

Juno - Oh balls! I fell to my death and the world was destroyed! But wait! I'll use the Dragonballs, which didn't blow up with Earth, and I'll bring Earth back!

(Earth's brought back.)

Juno - Yay!

Producer - Let's do this five more times!

Other Producer - Yay!

Narrator - Will Earth be blown up again? Can this show be anymore unoriginal and cliché? Find out next time!

(One final 'next time' later…)

Trigger - Oh no! There's some guy called Boo running around! He's a fatass and his best friend is a cussing wrestler! Our ratings are bomibng and we need something to bring us back!

Teasel - Why don't we kill Boo off and continuously bring him back even stronger than before?

Trigger - Will Earth blow up?

Teasel - Definitely!

Trigger - Awesome!

(After Majin Boo, Bad Boo, Super Boo, and Kid Boo are all beaten over the stretch of five dozen episodes (or more), he reforms yet again into Uber Boo.)

Uber Boo - I'll kill you all for the fifty-five thousandth time!

Trigger - Oh no! Anything but that!

Narrator - Will Trigger get his own?

Uber Boo - Yes! -kills Trigger again-

Narrator - What do we do now? Will this show ever come to its' end? Why wasn't this show canceled years ago? Find out on the next episode of DragonballZ! I mean, Dragonball Z!

(MSX, who's wearing a fake beard, is sitting in front of several kids.)

MSX - And that's why its' the best show ever!

* * *

Next time: Zero becomes a cowboy. Yippie-ka-yay. 


	11. Die Hard

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #10

A Parody of Die Hard

By: The Zero series

* * *

Zero - Fist with your toes? How about fists with your hands? -punches Phantom out-

(In the limo, Phantom, now dressed as a limo driver, starts talking up a storm.)

Phantom - You divorced or what?

Zero - Leave it alone.

Phantom - Come on, man! You divorced or what?

Zero - Either you leave it alone or I gut you like a fish.

(Phantom's eyes grow wide and he goes back to driving. In the office, ero looks at the pictures.)

Elpizio - Pearl Harbor didn't work out, so we got you with tape decks.

(Zero walks right up to Elpizio.)

Zero - Say those words again and I'll kill ya. Comprende?

Elpizio - Comprende…

(As the terrorists appear, Fefnir rolls a hockey puck at a guard.)

Guard - Damn street hockey…

(As the terrorists appear on the 30th floor, Zero peeks through the door.)

Zero - Nazis… Looks like playing Wolfenstein's gonna pay off after all -cocks gun-

(After Elpizio is killed, Zero continuous hits his head on the table before rolling away.)

Zero - Goddamn, that smarts!

(Zero then finds himself at the top of a flight of stairs near a terrorist.)

Pantheon - You can't kill me. There are rules for policemen.

Zero - Well, I'm gonna kill you anyways.

Pantheon - This is madness!

Zero - Madness? This! Is! New York! -boots the 'nazi bastard' down the stairs- Nazi scum…

(In the office, a German roars with anger.)

Pantheon - I want a Big Mac… with cheese!!

Copy X - I know! I know! But not until we've got the money.

(Later, Zero looks down an elevator shaft, shrugs, and uses the Triangle Jump to scale down the wall.)

(After throwing a body onto the policeman's car, Zero smirks.)

Zero - Merry fucking Christmas…

(Later, Zero talks with a cop.)

Cop - What do you want me to call you?

Zero - Call me… Daddy…

Cop - I'd rather not…

(A little later, Zero looks down another elevator shaft and shrugs again. Like before, he slides easily down the shaft. Then. Zero talks about Twinkies. After the cop lists the ingredients, Zero pauses.)

Zero - Wow, you must be one fat motherfucker.

(Later, Phantom, dressed as a business man, goes into the office and lies about being friends with Zero.)

Phantom - Zero, buddy, pal. Give yourself up, okay?

Zero - Mr. Head Terroist, what's your name?

Copy X - Copy X.

Zero - Copy X, do me a favor. Cap that lying motherfucker.

Copy X - Gladly. -shoots Phantom-

(As Copy X goes to check the explosives, he puts his guns down before climbing a ladder.)

Clyde - Wow… That's retarded…

Copy X - Who's there?!

Clyde - No one of concern.

Copy X - Oh… Then that's good… Wait a minute…

(During the gunfight, Zero looks at the glass and shrugs before dash-jumping over it. After the hostages run back downstairs, Zero looks down the building and sighs again.)

Zero - This is becoming a bit cliché.

(As the roof explodes, Zero slides down the wall, then breaks his way into the 30th floor.)

Zero - Man, this is some major bullshit! It's fucking Christmas for crying out loud!

(As the terrorists and Zero laugh, Zero tries pulling the gun off of his back.)

Zero - Goddamn it! I knew I shouldn't have super-glued this to my back!

(After Copy X dies and Zero gets outside with Ciel, the cop, who is Omega, shoots the last terrorist.)

Omega - That's what Wolfenstein was made for! Popping ugly-ass Nazi motherfuckers!!

Zero - Amen to that.

(As they drive off, Leviathan smirks.)

Leviathan - If this is what you do on Christmas, I've gotta be here for New Year's.

Zero - Actually, you should see us at Easter.

Leviathan - Why?

(Zero smiles like a pervert.)

Leviathan - Never mind…

* * *

Next time: The Battle Network executes my second do-over parody. 


	12. Another Mortal Kombat Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #11

Another Parody of Mortal Kombat

By: The Battle Network series

* * *

(Megaman walks onto the stage in front of several dozen NetNavis.)

Megaman - Time for Mortal Kombat scientology! Now, what does the body consist of?

(Elecman raises his hand.)

Elecman - The body consists of 217 bones, arteries, veins, and organs.

(Megaman smiles.)

Megaman - No. You don't get any food today. And even if you weren't wrong, you wouldn't have named everything. No… The human body is 2 bone, 1 organs, and 97 blood.

(Megaman plays video of Gutsman ripping Glyde's head off. He holds it above him triumphantly as the blood continues gushing out for the next several hours.)

Megaman - So you see, Mortal Kombat reveals the truth. It's the schools that are corrupt. And now, a demonstration.

(Elecman and Aquaman walk up onto the stage.)

Megaman - Elecman is Raiden. Aquaman is Rain. Rain is queer. Queers die. Raiden, kill the queer.

Elecman - Gladly.

Aquaman - Oh no…

(Elecman flies forward, tackling Aquaman.)

Elecman - Give me my money!

Aquaman - I said by Tuesday!

(Aquaman falls to the ground and begins spinning in place.)

Deep Voice - Finish him!

Elecman - God has commanded me and I shall obey!

(Elecman zaps Aquaman, who explodes.)

Deep Voice - Fatality!

Megaman - Then, you've got Jax… -cough- Fag! -couch- …and Scorpion.

(Gutsman and Shadowman walk onstage.)

Megaman - Proceed.

(Shadowman throws a spear.)

Shadowman - Get the fuck over here!

(Shadowman pulls Gutsman in.)

Deep Voice - Finish him!

(A curtain is pulled and squealing is heard.)

Deep Voice - Friendship.

(Megaman gapes as the curtain is pulled back. Gutsman is holding a pig.)

Gutsman - Piggy!

Megaman - Ew…

Shadowman - Gutterbrain.

Megaman - Wannabe. Next is Sub-Zero and Shao Kahn.

(Zero and Skullman take the stage.)

Skullman - You will die!

Deep Voice - Finish him!

Zero - Rhar!

(Zero rips Skullman's spine from its' socket and holds it up.

Skullman - Not right, man…

Megaman - Isn't that fantastic? -continues smiling-

(Protoman walks onstage.)

Megaman - Oh noes! It's Tsang Shung!

(Megaman takes a pose, but is blasted in the face with a light bulb.)

Megaman - Wha?

Deep Voice - Finish him!

(Protoman breaks Megaman's neck and everyone cheers.)

Deep Voice - Flawless victory!

(Everyone leaves and Megaman comes back to life.)

Megaman - -Bruce Lee noises-

(Megaman goes into Protoman's PET and taps him on the shoulder.)

Protoman - Yeah?

(Protoman looks at Megaman, who begins bouncing around.)

Protoman - Fag.

(Megaman rips off his arms and beats him to death with them.)

Deep Voice - Animality?

(Megaman then goes to Roll's PET.)

Roll - Yeah?

(Megaman has his way with here, then lights a cigarette. Stubbs comes in, slaps him, growls angrily, then leaves.)

Megaman - -confused Bruce Lee noises-

(Megaman goes to Shadowman's PET.)

Shadowman - Welcome. Was your trip to the afterlife fine?

(Megaman eats his brains, then wanders off.)

Fireman - Burn! Burn! Burn to the ground! Burn!

(After numerous attempts, Megaman finally defeats Fireman.)

Deep Voice - And so, Megaman's soul was reunited with his body and he defeated Raiden because he commited suicide.

Megaman - Suicide? When did that happen?

Deep Voice - You haven't played every single game?

Megaman - Street Fighter's better.

Deep Voice - Finish him!

Megaman - Not again.

(Every Mortal Kombat fan runs in, kills him, and leave.)

Deep Voice - Fans win! Fanality!

Megaman - -is pretty dead-

Ghost of Protoman - Hahaha!

* * *

Next time: The ZX series parodies one of the greatest movies, but one of the worst games. 


	13. ET: The Extra Terrestrial

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #12

A Parody of ET: The Extra-Terrestrial

By: The ZX series

* * *

(The parody opens with a silhouette being chased by a bunch of Galleons.)

Guy #1 - Did ya see him?

Guy #2 - Probably. He must've been ugly 'cause I went blind!

Silhouette - I heard that, asshole!

Guy #1 - There he is!

Silhouette - Shit!

(The silhouette reaches the pit in time to see the saucer fly off.)

Silhouette - Double shit.

(The next night, Vent tosses a ball into the backyard and it comes flying out and beams him in the head.)

Silhouette - Hit me with a ball, will ya?

(Vent goes outside later that night and shines a light in Serpent's face. They both begin screaming and Serpent runs off. Later, as Prairie storms off, Giro gets pissed off.)

Giro - Why don't you grow up and think about other people's feeling for a change?

Vent - …fuck you.

(Giro leaps across the table, but flies into the wall.)

Vent - Too slow.

(In his room, Vent wiggles a finger and Serpent wiggles his own. Vent scratches his head and Serpent copies him. Vent gives him the middle finger and Serpent begins beating the shit out of Vent. The next morning, Vent shows Serpent around his room.)

Vent - And this is a Playboy. Play-boy. You jerk off to it. -makes jerking off motion- Jerk off.

(Serpent stares at him.)

Serpent - You're a very lonely man, aren't you?

(Later, when Giro comes home, he stares at Serpent. Then, Aile busts in the door and screams. Serpent looks at her, then roars in her face.)

Aile - Dude… Two words… Tic-Tac.

Serpent - Tic… tac?

Aile - Oy vey…

(As Serpent flips through a coloring book, Serpent turns to the D page. A huge dick is drawn over everything else.)

(Later, after Vent gets plastered and frees the frogs, everyone goes up to Aile's room where Serpent's looking plastered.)

Giro - What happened to you?

Serpent - E.T. smoke bong…

Vent - Oh geez…

(On Halloween, Prairie takes Serpent's picture and he falls backwards.)

Serpent - Cameras… My only weakness… Now I've got cancer…

(E.T. takes control of the bike and drives it off a cliff. They crash at the bottom and Vent groans.)

Vent - Bastard…

(Vent gets back onto the bike and they start flying in the air. However, as they pass the moon, they're hit by a low-flying plane.)

Vent - Bastaaaaaaaaaaaaard… -crash-

(At the creek, Giro begins yelling 'No' as he finds E.T. passed out with several hookers around him.)

Giro - How dare you get laid before me!

(In the quarnatined room, Serpent flatlines and everyone runs in.)

Random Guy #1 - Flip him over! His battery's are dead!

(Everyone flips him over.)

Random Guy #2 - Battery's inserted! He's coming back!

Random Guy #1 - Talk Spielberg that we need better robots.

(After an epic battle, Vent kills Serpent. But, he comes back to life.)

Serpent - E.T. phone home, bitches!

(After they take off, the group flies past the sun. However, one kid has one of the old fashion bikes with the big wheel. Just before leaving, Vent hugs Serpent.)

Serpent - E.T. loves bong. E.T. loves phone. E.T. loves Elliot. E.T. loves… the fact the his game will single-handedly cause the video game crash of '83!!

Vent - What?

Serpent - E.T. loves Elliot.

* * *

Next time: The X series pokes fun at the best comic-based game I've ever played. 


	14. Spiderman 2

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #13

A Parody of Spider-Man 2

By: The X series

* * *

(MSX walks onstage.)

MSX - Originally, I was going to parody San Andreas, following my parodies of the GTA series. However, it occurred to me that, aside from taking a tractor to the top of a hill and riding it down, I really didn't play it. So, I came up with another free-roaming game to parody. I really don't like comic games, but this one rocked my socks.

(MSX walks off. The sun rises in New York and a figure is swinging through the city.)

Unknown Voice - This is New York City. My name… is Spider-Man!

(Web Spider flies high into the air before continuing his swinging fit.)

Web Spider - And this is my city.

(A bell rings in the distance and Web Spider curses.)

Web Spider - Fine! Fine!

MSX - If you didn't catch it the first time, I'll tell you again. I'm parodying the game, not the movie. I don't reviewers going, 'Mysterio wasn't in the movie!' or 'There were no balloons or anything!' So, just pay attention. 'Kay?

(Anyways, Web Spider gets to school and runs up to Signas.)

Signas - You missed class again. You're either late or sleeping. I don't know what I'm going to do with you.

(Signas walks off and Spider begins doing vulgar thrusts behind his back. Then, someone screams in the distance.)

Spider - -lands- What's the problem?

(A two-year-old points up to a balloon that's floating away. Spider raises his eyebrow, then shrugs and retrieves it.)

Toddler - Thank you, Mr. Spider-Man!

Spider - You're welcome, kid. -waits a few seconds- Stupid ass toddler…

(Spider then remembers Iris' premiere and, on the way, finds a robbery taking place.)

Spider - You!

Robber #1 - You!

Robber #2 - Him!

Spider - Her!

Robbers - Us!

(Spider beats the shit out of them as Alia walks up in a black jumpsuit. She says something witty…)

Alia - Something witty.

(….and Spider gets pissed.)

Spider - I'm pissed!

(Spider then chases her across the rooftops.)

Spider - Miss! I think something's wrong with you. This long white string keeps coming out of your butt!

(He gives up and arrives late at Iris' premiere.)

Iris - I don't know what's wrong with you lately. You're always sleeping. You're always late. And, you've got the worst case of athlete's foot I've ever seen. Goodbye! -walks off-

Spider - …I told my doctor about it…

(The next morning, Spider's heading to school, but someone's screaming.)

Spider - -lands- What's up?

(A nearby car is blown to pieces as a battle mech appears.)

Spider - You're on your own. -takes off-

(Someone else screams.)

Spider - -sigh- I'm in a hurry. Make it quick.

(Another toddler points up and Spider attempts to hold back his cursing. He retrieves the balloon and returns it.)

Toddler - Thank you, Mr. Spidey!

Spider - No problem. And just remember. Never wash your hands with _butter_!!

(Everyone nearby runs off.)

Spider - Stupid kids.

(Spider arrives late, again. Spider growls, then takes off.)

Spider - Hey! It's the Shocker! And look! A token!

_Skyscraper token found! 1/150_

Spider - What?! 150?! -groans-

(Spider takes up the chase and defeats the Shocker.)

Spider - I sure put a shock to your system!

Spark Mandrill - Hey, that can only be use by generic, cliché bad guys like us!

(Spider shrugs and takes off.)

Spider - -lands in an alley- Hey! Another one!

_Hidden Token found!_

Spider - Great… More tokens…

(Spider takes off and does a bunch of random shit. Beats up criminals, destroys speeding cars, gets beamed in the face by a battle mech, and so on. Then, he sees a boat sinking.)

Person #1 - Help us!

Person #2 - The boat's sinking!

Person #3 - Why can no one in New York swim?!

(Spider jumps onto the boat, grabs someone, then turns to the shore.)

Spider - Jump!

(Spider misses and lands in the water. Moments later, he crawls up the wall and everyone on the boat spontaneously vanishes.)

Spider - Weird… Ghost people…

(The Rhino storms into town and roars.)

Tunnel Rhino - Why wasn't I first?! I was first in the game, but second in the parody!

MSX - Just bear with me. I haven't played the game in a while.

(Spider defeats Rhino and hangs him upside-down.)

Spider - And now, for some fun!

(After randomly punching Rhino, he takes off as another person screams.)

Spider - -lands- Yeah?

(A toddler points up and Spider turns around and yells so the entire city hears him.)

Spider - Why can't a single kid in New York City hold on to a fucking balloon?!

(Spider leaves and Mysterio takes over the Statue of Liberty.)

Spider- Well, swinging from moving platform to moving platform isn't _that_ hard… -sarcastic chuckle-

(Spider finally knocks Mysterio's helmet off and Douglas looks at him.)

Spider - Hey! You're that queer that tried beating me at the arena! -kicks Douglas in face- Call the cops. Tell them to bring him some lube. He'll need it.

(Spider goes to the bank with Berkana and Doc Ock attacks.)

Launch Octopus - Alright then, put all the money in the bag or I'll strangle the life out of ya. Literally!

(Spider chases him down to the docks where they face off in a not-so-epic battle.)

Octopus - Go! I'll deal with this!

(Spider grabs Iris and swings off as Octopus is dragged under water.)

Octopus - At least my explosion will be beautiful… -explodes-

(Spider and Iris watch from afar, then Spider notices a token sitting on a bouy.)

Spider - Screw that.

(Spider goes to kiss Iris, but Zero stabs and kills him.)

Zero - I'm off to kill the Colonel! -runs off-

Iris - Zero! Wait!

(They both run off as X looks down at him.)

X - How the mighty have falling. Speaking of which…

Narrator - A few days earlier…

(Spider is on top of the tallest building in New York with X in his hand.)

Spider - This is your sixteenth offense. No more Mr. Nice Guy. It's time to pay what's do! Elevator… -jumps off- …going down!

(Spider begins doing a mock-Izuna Drop and X's head splatters everywhere as Spider falls down, picks himself up, and brushes himself off.)

Spider - Thirteen rotations! A new record!

(Everyone begins cheering as the scene goes back to X, who's crushing Spider's head.)

X - How do you like it? Stupid fucking insect! -walks off-

(All is silent until someone off of the camera screams.)

Toddler - My balloon!

* * *

Next time: Flashman returns to the ring again. 


	15. Rocky III

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #14

A Parody of Rocky III

By: The Classic series

* * *

(A.N. I'm still not racist and the over abundance of racial slang is merely for humor purposes only.)

(As the parody starts, a montage of Flashman beating the crap out of 'Afromen' boxers.)

Flashman - Stop the montage! How'd a Whitey get in here!?

(After Flashman's outburst, another montage begins playing showing Bass beating the crap out of 'white trash'.)

Bass - No one can stop me! I pity da foo who think otherwise!

(A.N. Didn't you just see a Mr. T reference coming? If you didn't, shame on you.)

(In the arcade, Clyde goes to through his booze at a pinball machine, but stops himself and throws as toddler at it instead.)

Clyde - Stupid boxing trash.

(Later, Clyde swings at Flashman.)

Flashman - I'm a boxer and yet, you still want to fight me?

Clyde - Shut up and bring it, Inspector Gadget!

Springman - Someone called?

(Later still, as Rocky is talking to Iceman in the ring, Iceman brings up dinosaurs.)

Iceman - You ever fight a dinosaur before, kid?

Flashman - Not recently. Though I did fight a T-Rex a while back.

(Just then, Megaman walks up in a costume.)

Flashman - Oh shit! It's Hollywood Hulk Hogan! I'm outta here!

(Flashman goes to run off, but is held back by Iceman.)

Iceman - It's just Megaman dressed as Hulk Hogan.

Flashman - Oh shit! It's Megaman dressed Hollywood Hulk Hogan! I'm outta here! -runs off-

(After being forced back into the ring, Megaman begins to tear through Flashman.)

Iceman - Like we haven't seen _this_ before…

(Afterwards, a statue of Flashman jerking off is unveiled.)

Flashman - Uh… I can… explain this? The hell?

(After announcing his 'retirement', Bass comes up and talks trash about Roll.)

Bass - Why don't you come down here and see what a real man looks like?

Flashman - It's on, nigger.

(As Bass is training, he grabs a chicken, growls as he rips its' head off, then takes a big bite out of the side of it.)

Bass - The only thing Mr. T like better than chicken is a big ass bucket o' chicken! Yeah!

Flashman - I had nothing to do with that. I swear.

(Seconds later, he is pulling a bike with Iceman on it. The next second, Iceman and Flashman are chasing after O. J.)

Iceman - Nigga stole ma bike!

(In the ring, Flashman gets really close to Bass' face.)

Flashman - You're going down… nigger…

Bass - Dead meat…

Flashman - The only kinda meat I eat…

(After motivational speaking and extensive training from Duo, Flashman turns to Roll.)

Flashman - Roll! Fetch my KKK uniform. I'm gonna kick some nigger ass! -Rocky theme starts playing- But, first… -kicks Duo in the nuts- Do you ever shut the fuck up?!

(As the inspirational music plays, people walking down the street have a double-take as they see Flashman in a KKK uniform running down the beach next to Duo.)

Flashman - -knocks out Bass- Yeah! Know your place, nigger! Go back to Africa and pick some cotton to fix those trunks of yours!

Duo - You'd better watch it.

Flashman - Oh, yeah? What if I don't wanna?

(MSX and Gutsman walk up.)

Flashman - Oh, shit…

* * *

Next time: The Legends series gets their own. 


	16. Megaman Legends

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #15

A Parody of Megaman Legends

By: The Legends series

* * *

(Trigger grabs the refractor, then makes it out of the door.)

Roll - Push left to move left and push right…

Trigger - Um, Roll? I got in by myself. I can get out the same way.

(Trigger beats the boss, then gets outside.)

Trigger - Stupid bitch. She's not here.

(The Reaverbot appears from behind the doors.)

Trigger - Hold up! Wouldn't the elevator have like a two ton weight limit or something?

(The Reaverbot's face droops as the elevator breaks and it falls to its' death.)

Roll - Sorry I'm late!

Trigger - You're going to be…

(On the Flutter, Trigger climbs down the ladder.)

Roll - Where's the refractor?

Trigger - Hammerspace. Don't get the backpack 'til Legends 2 comes out.

(Suddenly, the ship rocks.)

Roll - Gramps? What's going on?

Barrell - I, being the old maniacal bastard that I am, poured alcohol into the engine. It was supposed to make whiskey!

Trigger - I say we dump the excess weight. The old man goes first.

Data - Agreed!

Roll - Shut up, monkey!

Data - Stupid bitch.

(Trigger smiles, but says nothing.)

Roll - What'd he say?

Trigger - Never mind. There's an island called Kattelox about 100 miles from here.

Roll - We're here!

Trigger - -starts- This ship's breaking apart, yet we can go 100 miles in a second or two? Wow, that's real consistent.

(The group crash-lands and everyone gets out. Just then, the police show up.)

Data - I didn't do it!

Trigger - What'd ya do, Data?

Data - I can't do another nickel!

Inspector - Prof. Barrell, you're under arrest for being an old maniacal bastard.

(The police drive off with Barrell and Trigger wanders off.)

Officer - See the letter on the door? That means…

Trigger - Does it lead somewhere?

Officer - Yes…

Trigger - Then shut up! I'll find my way around!

(Trigger walks into the plaza and pauses at the bookstore. The Psycho theme begins playing as Trigger starts to sweat profusely and exchanges looks between an old sleeping lady and the pornographic magazines.)

Trigger - Porno!!

(Trigger grabs a dozen magazines and shoves them into hammerspace, then toddles off. He stands directly in front of someone and two minutes pass before he's acknowledged.)

Random Kid - Someone's watching!

Trigger - No shit.

(The kids run off and Trigger soon finds himself in the ruins where he's forced to save some guy.)

Some Guy - Thanks. I was almost a goner…

Trigger - God forbid that little pint-sized snake things should get you.

(The man snorts, then runs away at a high speed.)

Trigger - Why didn't you do that to begin with?!

(After some errands, the Bonnes attack.)

Trigger - Pirates…

(Climatic music plays as Trigger puts on a headband.)

Trigger - Time to pwn.

(After pwning the 'Lego people' and Tron, Trigger meets Bon.)

Trigger - Bonbon. Bon Bonne. Cute. -defeats Bon- And stay dead.

(Trigger waltzes into the mayor's office.)

Trigger - Hey, geezer! You're okay!

(Trigger waltzes out as a random car drives up.)

Roll - Hi!

Trigger - Finally, something useful.

Roll - I made you this! -hands over Splash Mine-

Trigger - And we're back to the useless.

(Trigger goes to the excavation site and easily beats Teasel.)

Trigger - Bye, loser!

Teasel - -staring catatonicly-

(Trigger then encounters a woman.)

Woman - I was picking mushrooms when a tank rolled up. I'm out of here!

(The woman runs off like Sonic.)

Trigger - Damn…

Sonic - You're telling me…

(Trigger kicks Sonic away and enters the ruins, emerged minutes later. The Final Fantasy fanfare plays and he dunks his arm.)

Trigger - Onward!

(Later, Trigger helps Roll fix a boat, then sails off towards the ruins when they're attacked.)

Trigger - Head for the ruins!

Roll - We're under attack!

Data - Oh, fucking well!

Roll - What'd he say?

Trigger - I dunno. Just head for the damn ruins!

(Trigger is forced into a battle with the Bonnes and easily wins. He enters the ruins, beats the boss, and emerged victorious. The FF fanfare repeats and Trigger dunks his hand again.)

Trigger - Now give me that pie, bitch!

(Roll and Trigger fix the Flutter, then the Gesselchaft attacks. Trigger easily destroys it, then snorts.)

Trigger - What a way to build a ship…

(Moments later, Trigger enters the final ruins.)

Trigger - Hey! Arabic! I can read this! Okay… Keys… Three… Evil force… pwned… Wonder what it means?

(Trigger exits the ruins and finds several black boxes laying around.)

Trigger - What the hell?

(Trigger gets the keys and defeats Bruno.)

Teasel - What's your name, boy?

Trigger - Hippo. Hungry, Hungry Hippo. My friends call me Hip.

Teasel - Very well, Mr. Hip. I shall… Wait a minute! That's not a name!

Trigger - Yes, it is.

Teasel - Oh… Okay then… -walks off-

Trigger - R-tard.

(Trigger enters the Main Gate and is confronted by Juno.)

Juno - And now, Megaman Trigger, I'll zap the piss out of you.

(A trap activates and Trigger loses all control of his bladder. Moments later, the Bonnes assist.)

Trigger - Thanks, r-tard.

Teasel - You're welcome, Mr. Hip.

Trigger - Ugh…

(Trigger reaches Juno and beats his first form easily.)

Juno - Damn you and your Cleansing Laser. -pulls a Sigma-

Sigma - How dare you! You'll be hearing from my lawyers!

(Trigger pwns Juno's second form, then Data comes to his aid.)

Data - Says who? Ahem. 'To all inhabitants of Kattelox Island… Fuck you!'

(The laser fires and everyone except Data is killed.)

Data - Fucking pricks…

* * *

Next time: I take another sensitive issue and I take another shit on it. 


	17. Racism

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #16

A Parody of Racism

By: The Zero series

* * *

(MSX walks onstage.)

MSX - Inspired by the KKK and my brother, I will now belittle the lowest form of life even further. Racists. Even hobos do more with their lives then they do. So, prepare for some stereotypical racist crap because the shit's about to hit the fan. Like before, this is for comical purposes only.

(MSX walks off as Zero walks into Chinatown.)

MSX - This is Zero. He's a racist. I don't like racists. Let's make his life hell.

Zero - Chopstick Town… -growls- I hate this place.

(Zero walks into an Asian dry cleaner.)

Zero - Hey, rice eaters! I need this cleaned by five!

(Harpuia, who's imitating our Asian man, waddles out.)

Harpuia - Would you look at dat! Hey, Chang!

(A Pantheon in stereotypical Asian clothing walks out.)

Pantheon - Yeah?

Harpuia - -points at Zero- Look at the American!

Pantheon - -gasps- His eyes so big!

Harpuia - He must see _everything_!

(Zero growls and storms out.)

Zero - By five!

(Zero returns at five.)

Zero - What the fuck is this?!

(There is a large red wine stain in the middle of the shirt.)

Harpuia - Oh, dat? Dat was dere already.

(Zero grabs Harpuia by the scruff of the neck.)

Zero - I've got an important business trip coming up, so you'd better fix this up fast or you'll find your favorite pair of chopsticks impaled in your fucking eye sockets. Got it?!

Harpuia - Don't yell! I'm right here! -hands Zero's shirt to him- Here's your shirt.

(Zero stands there, dumbfounded.)

Zero - -snatches shirt- I'll be watching you, Chang… -leaves-

Harpuia - It's Paul!

(Zero goes to his office, learns about the trip, then finds himself sulking in his chair on the plane.)

Zero - Spick Central…

(Zero gets off of the plane and finds himself in Mexico.)

Zero - I didn't realize it was so rainy here.

Random Mexican - But it hasn't rained in weeks.

Zero - Then why is everyone wet? -laughs uproariously-

(Zero walks down an alley and finds his target.)

Fefnir - Mr. Zero.

Zero - Mr. Bean.

(Fefnir looks at the camera, unimpressed.)

Fefnir - This way, please.

(Fefnir guides Zero to a secluded room.)

Fefnir - Can I do anything for you before we get started?

Zero - Put your knife on the table.

Fefnir - Excuse me.

Zero - I know how your kind works. Put the knife on the table.

(Fefnir growls, but puts a knife on the table.)

Zero - Thank you.

Fefnir - -grunts- Now, listen. Mr. Zero, I study in the three Ps off life. Peace. Prosperity. Purity. If I am to buy some of your companies' stock…

Zero - Odd.

Fefnir - What?

Zero - I thought that your three Ps would be Pedro, Pablo, and Paco.

(Fefnir growls and stands up.)

Fefnir - I've had enough of this!

Zero - Fine. I'll leave. But before I go, I need to know something. Is Taco Bell considered authentic Mexican down here?

(Zero regains consciousness in a dark room.)

Zero - Damn that beaner… Damn him to Hell…

(Zero stretches out and rips through the sides of the box he was in.)

Zero - Now where am…

(Zero instantly recognizes Detroit.)

Zero - Oh God…

(Zero looks down at the side of the box.)

Zero - 'To someone who gives a shit…' Cute… Fucking beaner…

(The truck stops and Zero falls out of the back.)

Omega - Yo okay, dawg? That was some nasty spill you just had.

(Zero looks up at Omega.)

Zero - Fuck off, nigger.

MSX - And, at that very moment, some people say, everyone black person on Earth began mourning the lost soul that was Zero.

Omega - Say wha?

Zero - -stands up- I don't need your chicken-covered fingers touching me. I am a professional.

Omega - Uh-huh, motherfucker!

(Omega goes to pull out a gun, but a bell begins ringing nearby.)

Omega - I'm yellin'.

Zero - You're yellin'.

Omega - We're all yellin'.

(A vehicle appears.)

Zero - For watermelon?

(An ice cream truck-like vehicle drives by. It has a large watermelon slice on the top of it.)

Omega - Hold on! I'll shoot you in a second! -runs off-

Zero - Now I've seen everything.

MSX - And so, saved by the Melonmobile, Zero exits Detroit and, through my mystical author powers, spontaneously appears in the Sahara.

(Two days pass and Zero slowly crawls into a village.)

Zero - Water… I need… Water…

(Someone offers him a littler bowl of water and he looks up into the face of a little Arabian girl.)

Zero - I'd rather get AIDS, sand monkey.

(The girl gets again and activates her vest.)

Zero - Suicide bomber!

(The girl explodes and Zero, who rolled away, looks as the dust clears. The little girl reaches over, grabs her bowl, and skips off.)

Zero - I knew it. They're bombproof.

(Zero finds a conveniently-placed bottle of water and downs it.)

Zero - I'm off!

(Zero runs through the village and spontaneously enters the Vatican.)

Zero - Oh no…

Leviathan - Hello there. I'm…

Zero - Quick! Somebody! Anybody! Fetch me an oven.

(Everyone stops and turns to him.)

Zero - What?!

(Everyone turns to Copy X, who's dressed as the Pope. He raises his hand, then gives the thumbs-down.)

Zero - You've got to be shitting me.

(The mob tear Zero to pieces and he suddenly finds himself in a building.)

Zero - Where am I?

MSX - You're in purgatory.

Zero - In that case, where's the exit?

MSX - Oh, come on! I'm just messing with ya! This is Hell.

Zero - Really?

MSX - Really. Enjoy! -disappears in a puff of smoke-

Zero - This isn't so bad. Hey! The exit!

(Zero exits the door and finds himself at the exit.)

Zero - What the?

(Zero tries again, but fails.)

Zero - I want out!

(Zero tries exiting the building several times, but fails.)

Zero - Great. So, just where… am… I…

(Zero notices a sign behind him that reads, 'The Museum of Religion'.)

Zero - Noooooooooooooooo!!

MSX - God, that's gotta suck.

Zero - I'm atheist! -echoes-

* * *

Next time: The Battle Network series parodies the first game I ever played. 


	18. Altered Beast

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #17

A Parody of Altered Beast

By: The Battle Network series

* * *

(A.N. This was the first game I ever played. If you don't like it, then don't read this. But to not do it, to me, would be disrespectful.)

(Lan walks up to Tunnel Rhino, who's in the urinal.)

Lan - Release Maylu!

(Rhino spins to Lan and gets an evil look.)

Lan - Oops…

(Moments later, Rhino stomps away from a grave that's in the middle of some ruins.)

Lan - -muffled- Crap…

MSX - Rise from your grave! And this time, don't screw up!

(MSX brings Lan back to life and he breaks out of his tombstone.)

Lan - If I was in the tombstone, then why is there a mound of dirt?

(The camera scrolls down to show hundreds of copies of E.T. for the Atari.)

Lan - Oh well.

(Lan goes around beating up animals and undead people. Then, a glowing creature jumps by.)

Lan - What the hell is that? A pig? A horse? A cow? All three?

(Lan shrugs and punches it in the face.)

Unknown Voice - Power up!

(Lan rips his shirt off.)

Lan - Rah!

(Lan beams another glowing creature in the face.)

Unknown Voice - Power up!

(Lan rips off his pants.)

Lan - Rah!

(A third creature runs up.)

Unknown Voice - Power up!

(Lan becomes muscular.)

Ahnold - Holy crap! It's da Predator monsta! And he's been working out! -Ahnold noises- Run away! -runs away-

MSX - You'd better go before the police arrive.

Lan - -in Ahnold-like tone- Silence, mere mortal! -Ahnold noises-

(Lan reaches Wily.)

Wily - Welcome to your doom!

(Wily transforms into a statue-like Tengu Man. He grabs his mask numerous times and throws it at Lan.)

Tengu Man - Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

(Tengu Man is defeated and disappears in a cloud of smoke.)

Wily - Time to take your muscles!

Lan - -in Ahnold-like tone- Not my muscles! -dives into hole-

Wily - Crap…

(A purple orb shows Maylu being held captive in a room. Then, Lan pops out of a hole.)

Lan - Not the cave! -Ahnold noises- Oh no! The hole's gone! -more Ahnold noises-

(Lan beats up the purple bean bags and lizards and also levels up three more times. Lan's head is now barely visible from behind his muscles.)

Wily - Welcome to your doom! Again!

(Wily turns into Topman.)

Topman - Fear my bubbles!

(Topman begins blowing bubbles at Lan, but a dragon flies in, zaps the piss out of Topman, and flies off.)

Wily - Time to take your muscles. Again!

(Lan dives into the hole and Wily sighs. The purple crystal now shows Maylu being tied to a cross. She is looking to the left, conversing with Jesus.)

Lan - -pops out of hole- Where am I? I'm in a mine I think. -Ahnold noises-

(Giant ants start running at Lan.)

Lan - -Ahnold noises- Not the ant monsters!

(Lan levels up three more times and his underwear is vaporized by the sheer body mass he now has.)

Wily - Welcome to your… uh… doom…

(Crystal Snail appears and is swiftly beaten.)

Wily - Time to…

(Lan falls into the hole on accident and Wily growls. The purple crystal now shows smoke surrounding Maylu and Jesus' cross descending into Heaven.)

Lan - Yay! More ruins! -Ahnold noises-

(Lan beats up the hammer-wielding goblins and undead geezers while leveling up three more times. His head can no longed be seen.)

Lan - -muffled Ahnold noises-

Wily - Welcome to your…

(Wily pauses.)

Lan - -muffled- Doom?

Wily - That's it!

(Wily turns into Bass, who randomly fires fireballs.)

Lan - -muffled Ahnold noises-

(With a single punch, Bass is defeated and Lan falls down as soon as the hole opens up.)

Wily - Huh? Where'd you… Oh… Great…

(The purple crystal now shows Wily holding on a bird. Lan jumps out of the hole and moves around.)

Lan - -muffled- I cannot see where I am!

(Lan beats up a bunch of mutated horses and fish-like things while leveling up three more times.)

Wily - Eh… I need a new line…

(Wily puts on a Tunnel Rhino costume and pees his pants as he's surrounded in Lan's shadow. Lan picks him up a smashes him like a beer bottle up against his muscles.)

Lan - -muffled- I win! -Ahnold noises-

(A bird appears and turns into Maylu.)

Maylu - How'd I get here? And why is it so dark?

(Maylu walks off as Lan returns to his normal figure.)

Lan - -in normal tone- Thank God…

Police - Freeze! You're under arrest for animal cruelty, aggravated assault, streaking, and drug abuse!!

Lan - Streaking?

(Lan realizes that he's naked.)

Lan - Oh…

(After Lan's trial, he's sentenced to life without parole.)

Lan - Shit…

Wily - Like I said before… Welcome to your doom! -maniacal laughter-

Lan - Shut up…

* * *

Next time: The ZX series asks a popular question once more. 


	19. Another Whose Line Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #18

Another Parody of Whose Line Is It Anyways?

By: The ZX series

* * *

Model A - Hello and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway! Here are tonight's contestants. Drunker than an Irishman: Aile! Cleaner than a vacuum: Vent! Blacker than white: Grey! Deader than her cremated parents: Ashe! And I'm Model A! Come on down and have some fun.

(Model A floats behind the desk.)

Model A - Welcome to Whose Line, the show where the points don't matter. That's right. The points are like the fact that Prometheus and Pandora are back in Advent.

(Everyone laughs.)

Prometheus - He will die…

Pandora - Most certainly…

Model A - Let's start with a game called Party Quirks. Aile, you're throwing a party while the others take on unusual identities.

(Ashe shakes her head.)

Model A - Begin!

Aile - Got beer, wine, and Pepsi. I'm gonna get drunk tonight! -doorbell rings- Ah, the guests.

(Vent is a game show host with mood swings.)

Vent - You've just won a million dollars!

Aile - Really?!

Vent - -angrily- No! Because its' mine! All mine!

Aile - Right… -doorbelll rings- Excuse me for a moment.

(Grey is Data getting increasingly annoying.)

Grey - What up, cocksucker?

Aile - Excuse me?

Grey - -shoves Aile away- Where's the booze? I need to get drunk fast so you dickwads seem smarter.

Vent - -with a lisp- That's na way ta talk ta ladies!

Grey - Eh, fuck you.

(The doorbell rings and Aile answers it. Ashe is Chistopher Walkin craving Slurpees.)

Ashe - I could really… go for a Slurpee right now…

Aile - Hey, Chris Walkin! What's up?

(The buzzer rings and Ashe takes her seat.)

Grey - Who's the fucking broad?!

Aile - If I had to go out on a limb, I'd say Data.

(The buzzer rings and Grey takes his seat.)

Vent - If you can guess the million dollar question correctly, I'll steal your soul.

Aile - A demonic game show host?

Vent - A split personality game show host, but close enough.

(The buzzer rings and they both take their seats.)

Model A - 100 points to Grey for being a great Data. Next is Weird Newscasters. Aile, you're the anchor and Vent's your co-anchor. Grey is sports and Ashe is weather.

(Grey and Vent sigh.)

Model A - Begin!

Aile - Greetings, I'm Reuben Yurnuts and this is today's top story. Wily's trying to conquer the world. Again. Now, to my co-anchor, Batman.

(Vent is Mr. Boobadoo.)

Aile - How's things on your side of the world?

Vent - Come into my shop. I sell you two pence cheaper. Cheaper! Cheap! Doobadoobadoo! Cheaper! Cheap! Doobadoobadoo!

Aile - Uh-huh… Now, to sports with Dr. Carmikel.

(Grey is a ninja with explosive diarrhea.)

Grey - Today, football was the ninja's sport of choice. John Madden himself threw a thiiiiiiiii…-bowels releasing-…iiiiiiiiiiiirty-yard pass. Whoo! And as for hockey, I cooooooooooooooo…-bowels releasing again-…oooooouldn't care less. I've got to go get some Pepto! -runs off-

Aile - Weird. And now, Jackie Chan with the weather.

(Ashe has one minute to live.)

Ashe -OhmyGod! OhmyGod! Um… Um… Uh… I'dliketothankmyparentsforbringingmethisfarinmylife… I'dliketothankmyboyfriend,Godrothissoul… Um… Um… Uh… Shit! -fakes a heart attack-

Aile - Well, that's it for now and we'll see you tomorrow at the same time.

(The buzzer rings and everyone returns to their seats.)

Model A - Another 100 for Grey for making perfect diarrhea noises. Next is Song Titles and this is again for everybody. Now, you can only speak in song titles and you must act out this scene… It's the showdown with Serpent. Begin!

Grey - I Wish It Would Rain Down.

Vent - There Ain't No Mountain High Enough.

(Grey looks confused.)

Vent - Something Happened On The Heaven.

Grey - I Want You, I Need You, I Love You.

(Vent walks off and Aile replaces him.)

Aile - You Give Love A Bad Name!

Grey - You're My Better Half.

(Aile shakes her head and is replaced by Ashe.)

Ashe - She's Gotta Be.

Grey - You Can't Hurry Love.

Ashe - Easy Lover.

Grey - Tonight I Wanna Cry.

(The buzzer sounds and everyone takes their seats.)

Model A - Another 100 points to Grey for starting the whole love thing and for creeping out Aile. I never knew that Serpent had such a romantic side. Oh well… Next it's Scenes From A Hat!

MSX - Yay!

Model A - I'll give you scenes and you have to act them. The first scene is… Movies Scenes That Would Be Rude To Laugh At.

(Vent walks up and begins laughing.)

Vent - That dick shot Bambi's mom! Yea! Go humans! Ahahaha!

(Aile swaps places with him and begins laughing.)

Aile - People are swimming away from the Titanic as people are falling down and hitting tables and shit! Ahahaha!

(Grey replaces Aile and begins laughing.)

Grey - He's a premature ejaculator! Ahahaha!

(The buzzer sounds and Model A picks out the next category.)

Model A - Megaman Characters Who Shouldn't Become Doctors.

(Ashe walks up.)

Ashe - I'm Dr. Pandamonium and, depending on how much you move, this could sting like a mother.

(Aile replaces Ashe.)

Aile - Burn! Burn! Burn to the ground! Burn!

(Vent replaces Aile.)

Vent - Now hold still so Dr. Phantom can use his ninja skills to grab the tumor out of your body.

(Grey replaces Vent.)

Grey - Yo.

(The buzzer sounds as Model A pulls out another category.)

Model A - If Megaman Put On A Play About FFVII…

(Ashe walks up.)

Ashe - Hi! I'm Iris and I play Aerith.

(Vent walks up.)

Vent - And I'm Sephiroth! -pantomimes stabbing Ashe-

(Aile swaps places with the other two.)

Aile - Megaman would have to be Vincent, Rush is Red XIII, and Data would have to be Cait Sith.

(Ashe replaces Aile.)

Ashe - I'm Yuffie, the stereotypical ninja! Hi-ya! -cheesy pose-

(The buzzer sounds as Model A picks another category.)

Model A - Failed Mavericks.

(Vent walks up.)

Vent - I'm Flame Flamer!

(Aile replaces Vent.)

Aile - I'm Holy Cow!

(Grey takes her spot.)

Grey - I'm Sigma!

(The buzzer sounds and everyone returns to their seats.)

Model A - Just because it's a pattern, another thousand points to Grey. Finally, we've got 60 Second Alphabet. Aile. Ashe. If you will.

(Aile and Ashe take the stage.)

Model A - The scene is that you're arguing over the protagonist in the third ZX game. You can start with… V… Begin!

Aile - Very funny, Ashe.

Ashe - Why, thank you.

Aile - X! -waves-

(X waves back.)

Ashe - You're such a klutz.

Aile - Zero! -waves-

(Zero waves back.)

Ashe - Are you even listening to me?

Aile - Bitch!

Ashe - Cunt!

Aile - Don't call me a cunt!

Ashe - Even if I didn't, you'd still be one.

Aile - Fuck you!

Ashe - Good gravy, that was good timing.

Aile - Have you changed the subject?

Ashe - It doesn't matter.

Aile - Just like Advent.

Ashe - Know-it-all.

Aile - Liar.

Ashe - Megaman ZX Advent is the best.

Aile - No, it isn't.

Ashe - Oh, really?

Aile - Please commit suicide.

Ashe - Quite the slut, aren't we?

Aile - Really?

Ashe - Suits you, don't you think?

Aile - Take that back, skank!

Aile - You bitch!

(Aile and Ashe get into a catfight.)

Model A - And now, I tape the fruits of my labor. -perverted laugh-

* * *

Next time: The X series finishes the Matrix trilogy. 


	20. Matrix Revolutions

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #19

A Parody of Matrix Revolutions

By: The X series

* * *

(Signas walks up.) 

Signas - I want you to search every hole, line, and crack as soon as possible and as fast as possible.

(X goes to reach up his butt, but is smacked upside the head.)

Signas - Dumbass.

(Later, they look for Neo again.)

Signas - I want you to check the Matrix for Neo.

Douglas - Sir, he's not in there. He's not plugged in.

(Then, Iris looks at Zero's backside and holds up a power cord.)

Iris - Where the hell did this come from?

(When Zero wakes up in the train station, he looks around and notices Clyde in the corner.)

Clyde - Peace…

(In the train station, Zero converses with Clyde.)

Clyde - The Frenchman does not forget. He does not forgive. He only surrenders.

(Later, Clyde gets into 'emotions'.)

Clyde - Love is a human emotion.

Zero - Like sand monkey.

Flameman - -jumps at Zero- You dirty American bastard!!

(During the chase, Iris cartwheels through the tollbooth.)

Iris - Skittles!!

(Back in the train station.)

Zero - You believe in karma?

Clyde - Karma is a word. Like love.

Zero - Or…

Flameman - Don't say it! I kicked your as once before.

(After the train leaves, Zero runs into the tunnel after it. He comes running out screaming seconds later with a train following him. After brief fight scene, the three get onto the elevator as X smirks.)

X - Pwned.

(As they open fire, Nameless Idiot #1 and Nameless Idiot #2 begin walking on the ceiling.)

X - Oh shit!

(X runs for the elevator and rapidly pushes the down button.)

Random Idiot #1 - Start shooting, you pussy!

(After the conversation with the Frenchman, a train pulls up and Iris walks out.)

Iris - …he said no, after all. I had to kill him. Oh, hey, Neo. So anyways, I was like 'Bang! Bang! You're dead!'.

(In the Oracle's house.)

Zero - I think it's time for me to learn a few more things.

Dr. Cain - So do I. I'm really a woman.

(Zero looks disgusted, then runs out of the building, but comes back seconds later.)

Dr. Cain - You weren't ready for it though. You should be dead.

Zero - I was dead. But, because of my popularity, Capcom had to bring me back in the next game. I mean… really now?

Dr. Cain - I want the same thing you want.

(The Oracle looks at Zero seductively and Zero runs away again, but this time, he doesn't come back. Later, in the Oracle's house.)

Dr. Cain - Do what you're here to do.

Sigma - Yes, ma'am.

(Sigma goes over, opens the oven, and takes out a tray of cookies.)

Sigma - We'll be taking your cookies now.

(Later, after some boring crap, in Neo's room.)

Zero - I need to tell you something and I need you to understand. I'm gay.

(Iris shrugs.)

Iris - I knew that.

(After Zero drops the gun, it fires and fries off Sigma's leg. Iris then stabs him in the face.)

Zero -Nice.

(Zero turned around and looks straight into a poster of the sun.)

Zero - My eyes! I can't see!"

(As Layer tries to sneak past the Sentinels, X walks in naked.)

X - What did I miss?

(Everyone screams and the Sentinels turn towards them. As a hole is drilled into the ceiling, the drill falls down on Dynamo.)

Dynamo - God… damn… critics…

X - Blah blah blah!!

(Everyone activates their shoots and take aim at Bill Cosby.)

Bill Cosby - Oh, come on now! You don't have to shoot me with the bullets and the blood and the 'That's gotta hurt'… -unintelligible babble-

(As the Sentinels get ready to attack, they form a giant middle finger before charging the cannon and taking it down. Then, as Alia and Palette, Palette gets impaled in the leg.)

Palette - I saw this coming!

(She gets imapled in the chest as Alia closes the door.)

Alia - 'Bout time.

(In the midst of the battle, Axl is shooting everything skillfully.)

Axl - Come on, bitches! I'll pwn your asses!

Random Guy - Go!

(Middy begins running with a cart filled with ammo as two other guys run out, point at Sentinels, and go 'Zap! Zap!' Once again, the Sentinels come together to form a wave. But this time, they spell out, 'You're about to get pwned.' As Middy takes over Axl's battle armor, Sentinels appear in front of him.)

Middy - Just remember my training. Shoot and hope to God that you shoot something.

(He begins firing wildly.)

Signas - Do it!

(MSX, dressed as a pimp, opens up a panel holding a bright red button.)

MSX - Zap yo dumb asses!

(He slams his hand down and deactivates all of the Sentinels.)

Signas - Do it.

(MSX, still dressed as a pimp, slams his hand down on another button. The Numa Numa song starts playing as MSX looks up.)

MSX - Your move.

(In the Machine City, the Easter Bunny is hopping down a path.)

Iris - What do we do?

Zero - We follow the white rabbit.

Iris - Did you eat those beans like I told you?

(Zero raises his hand.)

Zero - Yes, I did.

(He farts and the Sentinels begin exploding.

(Over the clouds, Iris gapes.)

Iris - Oh, come on. _This_ is the last thing I'm gonna see?

(As Iris is dying, some random fan stands up.)

Random Fan - Oh, for fuck's sake! If you're going talk, talk so we can hear you!!

(A little further down the path, a bunch of Sentinels come together to form a face.)

Face - What's up, nigga?

Zero - Nothing much. Listen, you know that douchebag Smith? Well, I was hoping that I could take him off you're hands for you.

Face - Okay, but if you fail, I'm going have you stuffed and turned into a bean bag chair.

(As Sigma and Zero charge at each other in an epic manner, they begin having a pillow fight. Zero stands up and does the 'bring it' hand motion.)

Zero - You just got told.

(As they fly into the air, they begin doing a series of retarded midair dances. As Sigma drags Zero to the ground, he smirks.)

Sigma - Ryu Hyabusa, eat your heart out.

(Time passes.)

Sigma - Why do you fight, Mr. Anderson.

Zero - I fight because that way, I get to star in more games.

(As Sigma flies towards Zero, he giggles.)

Sigma - Whee! Let's hear it for my wire team! Whoo!

(As Sigma is about to blow up, he throws his hands in the air.)

Sigma - Ah hell. Not again.

(Middy runs up to the crowd.)

Middy - I'm gay! I'm ubergay!

(The crowd begins cheering. As Neo's body is dragged off, the Face chuckles.)

Face - Finally, I'll myself a nice new bean bag chair.

MSX - That's it? The ending of the trilogy is a flipping sunrise? What kinda cheap shit is that?

* * *

Next time: The Classic series hunts down a man named Bill. 


	21. Kill Bill

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #20

A Parody of Kill Bill

By: The Classic series

* * *

(During the opening scene, Plant Man gets shot in the nuts instead of the head by D.I.C.K.S., the Deadly, Immortal Cobra Killing Squad Then, Bass opens the door.)

Bass - Girl, you back from selling crack already!

(Plantman knocks Bass into some plates.)

Bass - Not my Mickey Mouse and Friends collection editions! You bitch!

(During the knife fight.)

Bass - I cut you like Mexican!

(As they fight, a crowd of children gather in front of the window. Then, Bass shoots the gun inside of 'Gun-In-A-Box Cereal')

Bass - If I could go back in a machine, I would. T-bag Hitler. But that's beside the point… Tell ya what. We'll go to the baseball field around five while the kids are playing Little League. We'll dress like clowns and then have a knife fight. The kids won't know what's goin' on, but it should be pretty fucking hilarious.)

(Plantman misses the cup, kicking the coffee instead.)

Plantman - Motherfucker!

(Outside, Plantman gets into the 'Poon-Tang-mobile'. During the flashback, the cop has several bobble crotches on his dashboard. They're like bobble heads, but…)

Cop #1 - They even shot the Negro who played the organ.

Cop #2 - Not the Negro!

Cop #1 - Yes, the Negro. Also, the name on the birth certificate is Anne Orexic.

(Time passes and Pirate Man whistles 'I Like To Move It' while walking down the hall. He enters the elevator, then gets off singing and dancing to the song. He grabs an old man in wheelchair and flings him down a flight of stairs.)

Old Man - I hope Medicare covers this!

(He goes into closet and reemerges as an army commando. Then, he gets s call before the injection.)

Pirate Man - Actually, I'm perfectly happy with my long distance service. Stop calling me!

(Then, gets phone call from Wily.)

Pirate Man - Word of advice: Never eat seafood from a pickup truck with an Iowa license plate!

(More time passes and Plantman wakes up. He looks into his pants, then screams. Then, Astro Man pays $75 to play Go-Fish. Plant Man bites Astro Man's tongue and it cuts away briefly. His tongue is now stretched across room. It cuts away again. Astro Man is now running down hallway with tongue stretching behind him. Then, Plantman has a flashback.)

Random Guy - My name's Donuts and I'm here to go nuts!

(Plantman sits on his back in the back of a pickup.)

Plantman - Wiggle your big toe.

(His crotchal area wiggles.)

Plantman - What the…

(He looks in his pants and gets an unusual look on his face. During the anime flashback, Yamato Man is under the bed. A sword goes through the bed and blood begins dripping down. The sword is removed and someone cries out.)

Someone - OWIE!!

Someone Else - What the… she's still alive!

(The sword goes through the bed five more times.)

Someone - That really hurts!

Someone Else - Die already!

(The sword goes through the bed about 50 more times before the noises stop.)

Someone Else - Next time, maybe we should just use guns.

(Later, Yamato Man stabs the Yakuza boss as a child. He removes the sword and hundreds of gallons of blood come shooting out.)

Yamatoman - What the hell… did I just stab the Kool-Aid man or something?!

(Then, instead of the fat man, Yamato Man assassinates Santa Claus. Then, in present times, two Japanese men argue over Chickita China.)

Flameman - We're in Japan! Screw you! -turns to Plantman- What can I get for you?

Plantman - A bottle of warm Pimp Juice, please.

Shadowman - Pimp Juice? In the middle of the day?

Flameman - Morning, day, night, who gives a damn? She needs pimpin' and she needs it now! -turns to Plantman- How funny… You like samurai swords, I like Cabbage Patch Kids.

(Flame Man picks up a Cabbage Patch Kid and throws it at Plant Man, who slices it in half. Elsewhere, Starman and Aquaman are drinking beer.)

Starman - Do you want to buy me cheese?

Aquaman - Yes!

(Starman stabs Aquaman in the stomach.)

Starman - Wrong answer. I'm lactose intolerant.

(When Yamatoman cuts off Toadman's head, blood squirts from his neck like a sprinkler.)

Yamatoman - If anyone has anything else to say, now's the fucking time!!

(A brief silence follows.)

Random Guy - Your fly's open…

(In the airport, Plantman goes through security.)

Guard - What's this? -points to kitana-

Plantman - Toothbrush.

Guard - Move along. -3rd grader walks up- What's this?

3rd Grader - Safety scissors.

Guard - Is that so? Terrorist!

(One of the Crazy 88s looks at the person next to him.)

Random Guy - Why are we walking so slowly?

(Star Man walks out of the room to inspect the noise. Plant Man is standing up against a wall wearing a shirt that says 'I Am A Wall'.)

Yamatoman - Catch my lucky charms.

Plantman - They're magically…

Yamatoman - Delicious.

(After fight scene, Plant Man stands on the railing.)

Plantman - For those of you who still have your lives, you may take them with you. But leave the limbs you've lost; they belong to me now! I'm starting a collection!

Wily - Is she aware that George Bush is still president?

(Another flashback occurs.)

Organ Playing Negro - Y'all got a song? How about 'Smack My Bitch Up'? I can play that.

(Instead of a flute, Wily is holding a tuba.)

Wily - What does your friend do for work?

Plantman - He owns a used sex toy shop in El Paso.

Plantman - Do I look pretty?

Wily - No, you look like a slut. Just like your mother.

Plantman - Thank you, Daddy.

Wily - Stop calling me that.

(Time returns to the present.)

Pirate Man - That sword was priceless.

Swordman - Not in El Paso. In El Paso I got $10, a burger and fries, and two nights with a fat chick called Mimi for it.

(Instead of snorting coke, Knight Man and Aquaman are snorting pepper.)

Knightman - MY BRAIN HURTS!!!!

(Another flashback occurs and the two are talking about Pao Mae.)

Wily - And don't get me started on what he'll do if you give him the finger. Let's just say… -slowly moves hand towards crotch-

(Dr. Light strokes his beard for the first time and a random tree in the background sets on fire. The second time, a stone archway behind him collapses. The third time, a cat to his left if blown away before exploding. Then, he jumps onto Plantman's sword.)

Dr. Light - From here you have an excellent view of my crotch.

(The fourth time he strokes his beard, a bead of sweat is flung off of his hand and falls to the left of him, causing a small explosion. The fifth time, a plane can be seen crashing in the background. The sixth time, nothing happens until he walks away. A few second later, a flaming squirrel runs across the screen and spontaneously combusts. The seventh time, a nearby jogger is blown up by a missile.)

Dr. Light - No! Squeakers!

(Plant Man climbs up stairs with a bottle of water in each hand. Next time, he's carrying buckets with bottles of water in each bucket. The third time, he's carrying a bottled water vending machine on his back. The eighth time Light strokes his beard, a small house blows up, and two people run out, spontaneously combusting seconds later. The ninth time, the wall of the house behind them gets blown off and hits a bicyclist going down the road.)

Dr. Light - I'm starting to see a pattern.

(A hand pops out of a grave, so Plant Man walks over to it and stomps on it.)

Plantman - Ugh… creepy.

(When Sword Man opens the chest, Snake Man is sitting there with a cartoon boxing glove on a spring. )

Snakeman - Hi, there! -punches Sword Man out-

(Later, Plantman plucks out Pirate Man's eye out.)

Pirate Man - Oh, right. -lifts up eyepatch to reveal another eye-

Plantman - What the…

Pirate Man - Yar! I always wanted to be a pirate!

Plantman - But you are a pirate.

Pirate Man - Oh. Right.

(Time passes.)

Gutsman - Bill… he shot you in the head, no? I would have been much nicer. I would have ripped your left nut off and played ping-pong with it.

(Plant Man finds Wily and takes a dump on the floor when he sees Iceman. Wily makes a sandwich and cuts the crust off with a chainsaw. Instead of stepping on the fish, Iceman stuck him into a blender and hit 'frappe'. Then, Everyone is suddenly in a white empty space.)

Plantman - What the…

MSX - We ran out of money.

Wily - This could prove to be problematic.

* * *

Next time: The Legends series uses the power of 'The Shining'. 


	22. The Shining

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #21

A Parody of The Shining

By: The Legends series

* * *

(As the opening credits scroll up, Data starts.)

Data - Scatman John is in this?!

Trigger - No, it's Scatman Crothers, his retarded little brother.

Data - Crap…

(At a random table, Roll talks with a Servbot.)

Roll - Well, what about Tommy?

Servbot - You named my fingers?

Roll - Why not? I've got nothing better to do.

Servbot - I rest my case. This place sucks.

(During the interview, Glyde explains the 'tragedy' to Data.)

Glyde - He must've suffered a mental breakdown because he ripped off all of his clothes and went streaking.

Data - So?

Glyde - It's a winter house! It's cold! You can't go streaking if your dick is halfway up your intestines!!

Data - I'll take the place and leave now. -leaves-

(In the bathroom, the Servbot has a vision of Scorpion walking towards him.)

Deep Voice - Finish him!

(Scorpion rips off the Servbot's nuts and he begins screaming as gallons of blood flood the hotel hallway where to twin girls stand for no reason. Once Roll puts the Servbot into the bed, she begins talking with Tron.)

Roll - Is he okay?

Tron - For now, yes. But I think that he's got hydrophobie.

Roll - Hydrophobie.

Tron - Fear of split personalities.

(In the car, Data is talking about cannibalism.)

Data - See? He saw it on CTV.

Emerl - Welcome back to Cannibal TV. I'm Cannibal Emerl! Bam! -shots someone- Let's eat!

(In the hotel, a Birdbot shows Roll and the Servbot the walk-in freezer.)

Birdbot - We've got 50 sirloin steaks, 20 pounds of hamburger, 40 legs of lamb, and 3 dead bodies!

Roll - What?

Birdbot - 40 legs of lamb!

(After the Birdbot talks to the Servbot about 'the Shining', a month passes. Data is bouncing a ball up and down when a bunch of loud thuds echo throughout the halls.)

Data - That's it! I'm trying to think, but STOMP just won't stop practicing! Where's my crowbar?!

(A few days pass and Data stares outside.)

Data - -staring outside-

Servbot - What's with daddy?

(Roll looks at Data, who has his ass up against the window.)

Roll - Ew…

(Later, the Servbot turns a corner and see Appo and Dah dressed as women.)

Appo/ Dah - Come and play with us.

(The Servbot smiles and the two exchange looks as the Servbot starts pedaling towards them.)

Appo/ Dah - Stay where you are, Danny. Stay were you…

(Seconds later, Roll hears screaming and looks down the hall.)

Appo/ Dah - -being chased- Stay away from us! Don't play with us, Danny! Don't play with us!!

(A few days later, Data goes into the bar and hallucinates that Clyde is the bartender.)

Data - You work here?

Clyde - I do now.

Data - Something weird is going on…

Clyde - If you say so…

(Later, he kisses a hot chick who turns out to be an old dead woman. Data runs out of the room and throws up as he looks the door. Then, Data goes back downstairs and reenters the bar, where hundreds of Clydes walk around aimlessly. Then, Roll grabs a bat and goes downstairs.)

Roll - Hello? I want to beam you upside the head.

(She pauses, then looks at Data's story. It consists of nothing but the line, 'All torture and no paycheck makes Data one pissed off mother fucker.' After being put in the storage room and escaping, he hacks down the door.)

Data - Here's Data!!

(As Data chases the Servbot into the maze, he runs into Data.)

Data - Dead end!

Servbot - What's that?!

(Data turns around, then looks back. The Servbot is gone.)

Data - Dammit! I just got Bugs Bunny-d!

(The next morning, Roll and the Servbot come back and find Data frozen solid.)

Servbot - Would this be considered a dickcicle?

* * *

Next time: The Zero series parodies its' first game. 


	23. Megaman Zero

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #22

A Parody of Megaman Zero

By: The Zero series

* * *

(Zero walks up to a random scientist.)

Zero - How long will it take?

Scientist - Here's the plan, 'kay? We put you in this capsule and, uh, see what happens?

Zero - Cool.

Narrator - One hundred and two years later…

Ciel - Run!

Random Guy - I told you not to call them Mexicans!

(They run up to a door.)

Ciel - We're trapped!

Random Guy - Not if I use dynamite and give away our position!

(They blow the door up and they run into a flooded room.)

Ciel - It's…

Random Guy - Ted Turner?

Ciel - No. Zero!

Passy - Time to sacrifice myself!

Ciel - No!

(Zero awakens.)

Zero - What up, bitch? Like my spontaneous armor generation trick?

(Zero pulls out a gun.)

Zero - Wha…

Narrator - One hundred and one years before…

(Axl looks around and swipes Zero's saber.)

Zero - Dammit…

(Zero skillfully blasts through the level.)

Ciel - Oh noes!

(Ciel poses and Zero dashes over. They fall down a pit and Ciel breaks her back.)

Ciel - My back!

Zero - Sorry. I only have a jumping sprite. No holding ones.

Ciel - -magically heals- All is well.

(A hand reaches through the wall and grabs her.)

Ciel - Shit.

(Zero runs into the room and attacks the Golem.

Zero - Damn!

X - Take this! -tosses saber-

Zero - -gets hit in head- Ow! You sonnuva…

X - I'm gone! -vanishes-

(Zero continues attacking the Golem, but keeps hitting Ciel.)

Ciel - Stop slashing me!

Zero - Start dying then!

(Zero kills the Golem and dashes over to shield Ciel.)

Ciel - Zero… You saved my…

(The explosion blew Zero to pieces and Ciel looks down at his hand.)

Ciel - Oh…

Next time: MSX parodies the greatest…

MSX - Wait for it… Now!

(Zero appears in the Dragonball Z after life.)

Zero - Holy crap! I died again?!

Goku - Don't worry. You'll get used to it after the fifth time.

(Zero spontaneously disappears and respawns in the Resistance base.)

Ciel - …and that's when Zero screamed like a little girl. So, I grabbed the saber and…

Zero - And what?

Ciel - Oh… You're… alive… I need you to do something.

Zero - But…

Ciel - Now!

(Zero gets to Aztec Falcon. The battle begins and the crusher activates.)

Zero - Wait… This is as fast as it goes? Don't worry, dude! I'll have you out of here in… -kills Falcon- …now!

(Zero returns and began talking with the members of the Resistance.)

Andrew - Would you like to hear my story?

Zero - Fuck no, you robotic geezer! -walks off-

Andrew - Prick.

(Zero is sent on a bunch of errands.)

Zero - Ooh… A train… That's original…

(Zero destroys the train and finds Colbor.)

Zero - Yo! Fucktard!

Colbor - Zero! Thank goodness.

(Colbor runs off and falls off the ledge behind Zero.)

Zero - Retard.

(The battle begins and Zero taps Harpuia on the shoulder.)

Harpuia - Gasp!

(Zero sidesteps Harpuia as he launches several waves forward. He taps him on the shoulder again and again sidesteps the attack.)

Zero - This is too easy.

(Zero is then sent to the energy factory. After destroying the 'boss', Zero returns there.)

Phantom - Behold my ultimate ninja powers!

(Phantom's beaten within seconds.)

Phantom - You'll never get to the bombs in time! Hahaha! -classic ninja poof away-

(Zero gets to the entrance.)

Ciel - Don't feel that you have to do this…

(Zero shrugs and turns around.)

Ciel - I was joking! Get those bombs!

(Zero quickly gets the eight bombs.)

Zero - Wow. All of the bombs were in places I've been before. God forbid that he should put some in like, say, the opposite end of the building…

Phantom - Fuck! I knew I forgot something…

(Zero is then sent on a rescue mission and finds the survivor.)

Zero - Come on! -runs off- We're…

(Zero turns around and, though in eyesight of him, the survivor is just sitting there. Zero sighs and walks up to him.)

Zero - Come on, numbnuts.

Survivor - Thank you…

(Zero guides him to the gate.)

Guard - He's alive!

(Zero impales the man.)

Guard - He's dead…

(Zero is then sent out to destroy the oncoming forces.)

Zero - Oh boy…

(Zero gets to the end in seconds.)

Zero - Oh…

(Fefnir jumps of the plane.)

Fefnir - Howdy, motherfucker!

(Fefnir grabs Zero and throws him into the air. He then grabs him and thrusts forward.)

Zero - -stands up- You fuck! Do you know how hard it is to get sand out of my hair?!

(Fefnir loses and Zero is sent to find a hidden base.)

Random Guard #1 - I think its' somewhere around here.

Random Guard #2 - Yeah…

(Zero looks straight down and scoffs.)

Zero - Retards…

(Zero enters the base and frees everyone. He beats the boss, then returns later.)

Zero - Wow… I didn't realize that Neo Arcadia still used Windows '95. That must suck…

Leviathan - -appears- It did. We executed Bill Gates and no one said anything in his defense. Maniacal bastard…

(Zero makes out with Leviathan, beats her, then heads back to the lab.)

Maha - I am Maha Garish-gi-noff… I think… Anyways, I'm gonna kill you!

(Maha begins lumbering forward.)

Zero - You'll have to catch me first.

Maha - Bastard!

(Zero beats him and the base is attack.)

Random Guy - There's a little monkey in our energy room! We need Zero!

Zero - Little monkey…

(Zero enters the energy room.)

Zero - Prepare to meet your end, Boots!

Monkey Guy - What?

Zero - N-Never mind…

(Zero wins and is then sent to Neo Arcadia.)

Zero - Nice place. -looks up- Not so nice.

(Zero destroys the statues, the spider, and gets to the boss.)

Beetle Man - Prepare to die by my blade!

Zero - What blade?! I have a blade! You don't!

Beetle Man - Damn!

(Zero beats him, then scales the tower.)

Zero - Hello?

(The Rainbow Devil takes form.)

Zero - Not again…

(Zero beats him, then walks into the next room.)

Zero - Hold on! If you can warp to this room, why hasn't Neo Arcadia warped directly to the Resistance?

Harpuia - That's a good question. Why haven't we?

Copy X - Don't question my judgment!

(Zero beats the four bosses, all of whom have unpronounceable names and have no real significance to the story. He then reaches the guardians.)

Harpuia - I'm not as stupid as I was before! -spins around and attacks- Aha! Got ya!

Zero - -standing in place- Um… Okay…

(Zero beats him and meets Phantom again.)

Phantom - Time for a worthless kamikaze attack! -self-destructs-

Inafune - -dressed as a pirate- Yar! That Phantom. He be dead now.

(Zero meets Fefnir again.)

Zero - En garde!

Fefnir - Wha… -is beaten- Damn…

(Zero meets Leviathan again.)

Leviathan - Hi…

Zero - Hi…

(They make out, then Zero goes on his way.)

Harpuia - Halt!

Leviathan - Stop!

Fefnir - Proceed no further!

Phantom - -doesn't say anything 'cause he's dead, remember?-

Zero - I get the point.

Copy X - Let him pass.

(The three vanish.)

Copy X - Blah blah blah. Neo Arcadia. Blah blah blah. Human utopia. Blah blah blah. Maverick. Let's fight!

(Zero easily beats his first form.)

Inafune - Time to transform!

Zero - Go figure.

(Copy X reforms and is swiftly beaten.)

Copy X - I was supposed to be the perfect copy…

Zero - Well, your eyes were red. Your armor was different. And, on top of all that, you're a bad guy.

Copy X - Douchebag… -dies-

Zero - Exit stage left!

(Zero dashes away and spontaneously appears in the desert.)

X - I was stunned when I found out that I no longer cared about fighting Mavericks.

Zero - Pussy…

(X flies off and Zero looks behind him.)

Zero - Nifty pose time!

(Zero cuts a Pantheon in half, then stays in that pose.)

Pantheon #1 - No what?

Pantheon #2 - Let's beat him up!

Zero - -still posing- Shit…

(After barely surviving, Zero makes it to the furth game.)

Zero - I keep having these dreams about Passy. She's calling me ungrateful.

Ciel - Passy? Who's that?

Next time: Now?

MSX - Yes.

* * *

Next time: MSX parodies the greatest animation company ever. 


	24. Disney

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #23

A Parody of Disney

By: The Battle Network series

* * *

(Megaman and Roll walk onto the stage.)

Megaman - Today, we are MSX's lips.

Roll - We will now share with the world MSX's opinion on Disney.

Megaman - It can be summed up in one statement. Disney is run by communists and is funded by the KKK.

Random Fan - Say what?!

Roll - It's rather obvious.

Megaman - Disney helped make Kingdom Hearts. The second one had a room. It was white. They called it the White Room. Not a trace of black.

Roll - As if that wasn't bad enough, the entirety of Castle Oblivion was white. There was no black in it. Even your shadow was purple.

Megaman - Castle Oblivion? More like Castle KKK White Power.

Random Fan - So what?!

Roll - It gets better.

Megaman - Not once in an animated movie is there a black lead. They're always gray or white or brown, but never black.

Roll - But, they're usually anthropomorphic, so it doesn't matter anyways.

Megaman - Next are the sequels.

Roll - Ah, the classics. The Little Mermaid. Aladdin. Peter Pan. All great movies. All got numerous lackluster sequels.

Megaman - That's where MSX gets pissed. Oliver & Company. The Great Mouse Detective. The Aristocats. Where are the lackluster sequels to those? Lilo & Stitch got one. Tarzan got one. Hell, even The Fox & The Hound got one! So where's the sequels for the _really_ good Disney movies?

Roll - Sure, the aforementioned are famous and all, but come on. Robin Hood. The Black Cauldron. They need love too. Even Toy Story's getting a third movie. And Disney only made half of that!

Megaman - If Disney can make sequels with Pixar, then they can sure as hell make sequels on their own.

Roll - Another thing that brings MSX's piss to a boil is the logo itself. The D in Disney looks more like a G. Unless the guy's real name is Walt Gisney, then they need to give that a second look.

Megaman - Going back to movies, why are so many scenes changed? Chief from The Fox & The Hound. That one dog from Lady & The Tramp. They were supposed to die, but 'Oh no'… We can't have death in our movies.

Roll - Wait a minute… That's a bunch of shit! What about Bambi's mom? Didn't give that one a second thought, did you? Nope. You guys just killed her off and were done with it.

Megaman - Here's something else that confuses MSX. Before Disney began spitting out sequels on the assembly line, why did Aladdin gets sequels right away? Return of Jafar and The King of Thieves came years before Disney began making sequels.

Roll - Why _that_ one? Was it truly _that_ good of a movie? Of course it wasn't. Basil from The Great Mouse Detective would whip the shit out of Aladdin any day.

Megaman - And, of course, you can't rant on about Disney without bringing up the controversies. Ah, how numerous they are. From the naked woman in The Rescuers to the 'rip-off' of Kimba, Disney knows how to piss people off.

MSX - -walks in- They sure do.

Roll - Now, wrapping things up, MSX knows that even The Rescuers had a sequel. However, it took place in Australia and that automatically makes the movie cool.

MSX - I gotta get me an Aussie accent.

Megaman - As for Bambi 2, it made him want to see the original again. Unlike sequels before it, this one was really good. Unlike The Fox & The Hound 2. That one just outright sucked. As did The Little Mermaid 2 and Cinderella 2.

Roll - Now, in all fairness, The Hunchback of Notre Dame got a sequel and MSX did see it, but its' been years since then, so MSX's opinion on the movie is currently void.

Megaman - Is that about it?

MSX - Pretty much.

Roll - You don't like Disney, do you?

MSX - Quite the contrary. I can't get enough of it. Sure, it pisses me off, but I'm a nut for animated movies.

Roll - So, do you like any Disney movies?

MSX - Yep.

Megaman - Like what?

MSX - Well, there's several.

Roll - What's your absolute favorite?

MSX - My absolute favorite? That's a bit difficult, but still pretty easy.

Megaman - Then what?

MSX - The Lion King.

(A long silence follows.)

MSX - What?

Megaman - The Lion King?

MSX- Yeah! All three movies were awesome! Though, they need to make a Lion King 3. I'd like that.

Megaman - Whatever…

* * *

Next time: The ZX series has an identity crisis. 


	25. Identity

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #24

A Parody of Identity

By: The ZX series

* * *

(The camera fades into a stage. MSX is standing next to Vent and there are twelve people on stands in front of them.)

MSX - Yo! Wassup? I'm MSX and this is Identity. Today's contestant is Vent. How do you feel?

Vent - I didn't get any sleep last night that's to your snoring.

MSX - Cool! Let's play! Here are your identities.

_Was Abducted By Aliens_

_Is Autistic_

_Masturbates To Goat Porn_

_Shoved A Slinky Up Nose_

_Was Frozen For 1000 Years_

_Has A Pole Up Their Ass_

_Can Fart National Anthem_

_Attempted To Assassinate Dr. Suess_

_Swallowed Nuclear Missile Detonator_

_Likes To Be Spanked_

_Works Part-Time As Death_

_Can Pee Jesus' Picture In Snow_

MSX - You've got your work cut out for you, pal!

Vent - Yeah, yeah… Prometheus has the pole shoved up his ass.

MSX - How are you so sure?

(Vent exchanges looks between MSX and Prometheus.)

Vent - I'm sure.

Prometheus - Dick.

MSX - Is that… your identity?

(An hour passes before Prometheus turns to the side and give the thumbs-up.)

MSX - You are correct!

Prometheus - Can someone help me with this?

(Everyone shudders.)

Prometheus - -walks off- Thanks…

_Was Abducted By Aliens_

_Is Autistic_

_Masturbates To Goat Porn_

_Shoved A Slinky Up Nose_

_Was Frozen For 1000 Years_

_Can Fart National Anthem_

_Attempted To Assassinate Dr. Suess_

_Swallowed Nuclear Missile Detonator_

_Likes To Be Spanked_

_Works Part-Time As Death_

_Can Pee Jesus' Picture In Snow_

Vent - Next, Model HX is autistic.

MSX - How do you know?

(Model HX drools a little.)

Vent - I know.

MSX - Is that your identity?

(Another hour passes before Model HX drools again.)

MSX - Correct! Now, you three helps. First, your Mistaken Identity. If you screw up once, you can keep going. Next, you've got the Tri-dentity. You pick one thing from the list and we'll narrow your choices down to three. Finally, you can Ask The Experts.

(Everyone turns to Models X, Z, and A.)

Model X - Hi.

Model Z - Yo.

Model A - What up?

MSX - So, let's continue. And, will someone please help Model HX offstage.

(Someone does so.)

_Was Abducted By Aliens_

_Masturbates To Goat Porn_

_Shoved A Slinky Up Nose_

_Was Frozen For 1000 Years_

_Can Fart National Anthem_

_Attempted To Assassinate Dr. Suess_

_Swallowed Nuclear Missile Detonator_

_Likes To Be Spanked_

_Works Part-Time As Death_

_Can Pee Jesus' Picture In Snow_

MSX - Things are going to get harder from here on, buddy.

Vent - Ya think? Okay, well… If someone swallowed a nuclear detector, they'd have to hate the world. So, in that sense, Serpent swallowed it.

MSX - Is that your identity?

(Another hour passes before Serpent burps.)

Serpent - I just wiped every low-class country off the map!

(Everyone cheers as he bows, then leaves.)

_Was Abducted By Aliens_

_Masturbates To Goat Porn_

_Shoved A Slinky Up Nose_

_Was Frozen For 1000 Years_

_Can Fart National Anthem_

_Attempted To Assassinate Dr. Suess_

_Likes To Be Spanked_

_Works Part-Time As Death_

_Can Pee Jesus' Picture In Snow_

Vent - Okay, here's my dilemma. Pandora hardly talks, so see could be Death. Model HX was autistic, thus couldn't have been frozen. No one really knows anything about Grey and as for assassinating Dr. Suess… I'm going to have to say Model PX did it.

MSX - Why?

Vent - 'Cause he's a ninjas and does have time for such meaningless things.

MSX - Is that your identity?

(Yeah, yeah. Another hour passes.)

Model PX - I will not eat them here or there. I will not eat them anywhere. I do not like them, Sam-I-Am. I will not eat Green Eggs In Ham.

(Everyone cheers as he leaves.)

_Was Abducted By Aliens_

_Masturbates To Goat Porn_

_Shoved A Slinky Up Nose_

_Was Frozen For 1000 Years_

_Can Fart National Anthem_

_Likes To Be Spanked_

_Works Part-Time As Death_

_Can Pee Jesus' Picture In Snow_

Vent - Hmmm… I'd like to use my Tri-dentity on the Slinky.

MSX - Will all but three magically disappear?

(Spotlights highlight Model FX, Model LX, and Pandora.)

Vent - Uh… I'll go with Pandora…

MSX - Is that your identity?

Vent - Yes.

MSX - We don't know for sure.

(Yet another hour passes before Pandora sneezes. A Slinky shots out, then goes back into her nose.)

Pandora - Ow…

(Everyone cheers as she walks off.)

_Was Abducted By Aliens_

_Masturbates To Goat Porn_

_Was Frozen For 1000 Years_

_Can Fart National Anthem_

_Likes To Be Spanked_

_Works Part-Time As Death_

_Can Pee Jesus' Picture In Snow_

Vent - Okay, I want to get rid of the… -shudder- …goat porn one…

(Girouette looks around nervously, then runs for it.)

Vent - I'll assume that it was him.

MSX - Was that his identity?

(A stagehand comes out and gives the thumbs-up.)

Vent - Surprise. Surprise.

_Was Abducted By Aliens_

_Was Frozen For 1000 Years_

_Can Fart National Anthem_

_Likes To Be Spanked_

_Works Part-Time As Death_

_Can Pee Jesus' Picture In Snow_

Vent - Okay, now I'll say that Grey was frozen for a thousand years.

MSX - Is that your…

Grey - No.

Vent - Crap…

MSX - Well, that saved time, but it cost you your Mistaken Identity.

Vent - I'll ask the experts about… Jesus' picture.

Model X - Aile.

Model Z - You.

Model A - Grey… or Ashe…

Vent - Thanks for nothing. Okay, in that case, I'll say that Aile can fart the national anthem.

Aile - What?!

MSX - Is that your…

(Aile inhales, then farts the national anthem. Everyone chokes and gags as she walks offstage.)

MSX - -has a gas mask on- I think you're right.

Vent - -also has a gas mask on- Ya think?

_Was Abducted By Aliens_

_Was Frozen For 1000 Years_

_Likes To Be Spanked_

_Works Part-Time As Death_

_Can Pee Jesus' Picture In Snow_

Vent - Seeing as Girouette is no longer here, Ashe must be part-time Death.

MSX - Is that…

(Ashe quickly puts on a costume and points accusingly at MSX.)

MSX - Tell me something I don't know.

_Was Abducted By Aliens_

_Was Frozen For 1000 Years_

_Likes To Be Spanked_

_Can Pee Jesus' Picture In Snow_

Vent - I doubt that Grey likes to be spanked and he wasn't frozen. So, I think that he was abducted by aliens.

MSX - Is that your…

(A beam of light shines down and Grey is abducted again.)

_Was Frozen For 1000 Years_

_Likes To Be Spanked_

_Can Pee Jesus' Picture In Snow_

Vent - Ew. Ew. And 'Ew' again. Prairie can… You know… Jesus' picture…

MSX - I'm not sure if I want to know if that's your…

(Prairie raises her eyebrows, making everyone shudder.)

_Was Frozen For 1000 Years_

_Likes To Be Spanked_

Vent - Okay, this is… Bizarre. I'm going to say that Model… LX was frozen.

MSX - For the win, is that your identity?

(Model LX looks around.)

Model LX - So much technology… Such little time…

MSX - Congrats, you've won!

Vent - What'd I win?

MSX - Five.

Vent - Five?

(MSX backhands Vent.)

MSX - Five 'cross the face! -maniacal laughter-

Vent - Why you…

MSX - Try and stop me! -continued maniacal laughter-

* * *

Next time: The X series thinks its' safe to go back in the water… 


	26. Jaws

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #25

A Parody of Jaws

By: The X series

* * *

(Instead of playing a harmonica, Dynamo is playing the tune to 'I Like To Move It' with a tuba. Then, as Flame Hyenard runs after Gigavolt Man-O-War, he continuously yells 'Burn! Burn! Burn to the ground. Burn!' Also, Flame Hyenard runs after Gigavolt Man-O-War, he rolls down a hill and lands in a grave with his name on the tombstone.)

MSX - -dressed as a mortician- Quick, boys! Before he comes to!

(As Gigavolt Man-O-War swims in the water, Metal Shark Player is looking up at him.)

Metal Shark Player - That's nice. Wait! Is that a… -attempting to hold back barf noises-

(Metal Shark Player drags Gigavolt Man-O-War into a buoy. He then drags him into a small fishing boat. Then, a large cruise ship appears.)

Gigavolt Man-O-War - Oh, hell n-

(Gigavolt Man-O-War is dragged through the ship, creating a gigantic hole. Meanwhile, a random person is standing at the head of the boat as it begins sinking.)

Random Guy - I'm king of the… Oh, crap. Not this again.

(The next day, X wakes up with Alia and Infinity Mijinion runs in.)

Mijinion - Mom, I cut my hand.

Alia - Dammit, Billy! Were you playing around with those Mexicans again? They said they'd cut you!

(Instead of a jeep, a Ride Chaser sits in the driveway. X shrugs and gets in. As he drives off, Dynamo runs after him.)

Dynamo - Come back here, asshole! That was mine!

(Once on the beach, X/ Flame Hyenard/ Rainy Turtloid find Gigavolt Man-O-War on the ground, dead with his arms across his chest.)

X - Damn. It must've been painful. Look at her face. Wait… Is that… Ugh…

(After getting a phone call, X turns to Axl.)

X - Axl, how many 'Duck Crossing' signs do we have?

(Inside a store, Spark Mandrill is talking in the background.)

Spark Mandrill - There's not a thing I ordered on this list! No beach balls. No loungers. No hookers. Not even a fucking pair of sunglasses!

(Just before driving off, X speaks to Axl.)

X - Polly wanted to let you know…

Axl - Yeah? Well, Polly wanna doodle all the day! I say let her doodle! -drives off-

(At the dock, Signas rides up in a ferry.)

X - Take me to the nearest Hooters, would ya?

(X converses with a group of people on the ferry.)

X - Well, what else could've done that to that girl? Guy? Girlguy?

Douglas - Well, I think… Yes. I think that a dragon did it.

X - Don't talk to me anymore…

Douglas - If you yell barracuda, no one gives a shit. But if you say free sex… Everyone comes running.

X - I'll remember that…

(When some random guy comes up and starts talking to X, Commander Yammark screams. X stands up and sees Commander Yammark flailing in the water. )

Yammark - My boyfriend's biting me! Help!

(X sits back down. Then, instead of 'The Muffin Man', Infinity Mijinion is singing 'Without Me'. From underwater, Metal Shark Player is looking at everyone's legs.)

Metal Shark Player - Hmmm… Which one… Which one… No, too white. Too black. Too Mexican. Don't like spicy food. Aha! Caramel! Perfect…

(A random person yells out 'Shark' and everyone gets out of the water.)

Random Guy - Shark! Shar… Oh, hold on! My bad! Just a dead clown floating on top of the water! Everyone back in! Nothing to worry about!

(In the famous 'Jaws' screen motion, the camera moves too far. )

X - Ow! Son of a bitch! Will someone please fire this cameraman!

(Instead of what it actually says, the sign in the police station says, '$3000.00 reward for whomever can successfully frame Michael Jackson.' Then, X finds himself in a meeting.)

Random Guy - Are you going to close the beaches?

Vile - No, we're gonna let you swim in shark-infested waters. Of course we're gonna close them, ya stupid bitch! -smacks Random Guy- Go to your room!

(Then, Zero begins talking to the council.)

Zero - For $10,000, you get the head, the tail, the stomach, the dorsal fin, this souvenir Amity Island snowglobe, and this coupon good for a free medium coffee at any participating Starbucks. Good until July 7. Non-refundable.

(That night, X is reading a book as Alia sits down next to him. He turns around suddenly, but nothing happens.)

X - Boo.

(Alia jumps.)

Alia - Oh my God, you scared me.

(As two morons are on the dock at night, Metal Shark Player grabs the bait.)

Metal Shark Player - Take out. My favorite. -begins swimming away-

(Then, as one moron falls in the water, Metal Shark Player turns around.)

Metal Shark Player - Dessert? You shouldn't have.

(Later, during the frenzy at the harbor, Douglas enters the shack.)

Douglas - You know those eight guys overloading the boat? Yeah, none of them are getting out of this harbor alive. I just blew up their boat.

(A brief silence follows.)

Douglas - See? That's what I'm talking about! Now get out there!

(During the frenzy with the boats, Ride Boarski stabs himself and the blood squirts into the water. When people are celebrating about killing a shark, Metal Shark Player pops out of the water.)

Metal Shark Player - I'm gonna get sued for this. -lifts harpoon- Ya missed me, ya dried-up douchebag!

(Metal Shark Player throws the harpoon throw someone's head and is gone by the time people look towards him. After Palette finishes her rant, X sighes.)

X - You're right. There isn't anything I can do about it. Except of course…

(X raises his buster and blows Palette's brains out.)

X - And _that_, folks, wasn't in the script!

(That night, Infinity Mijinion does whatever X does.)

X - Come here.

(Mijinion leans closer and gets smacked.)

X - Stop doin' what I do!

(Later, during the conversation with Douglas…)

X - So this rogue stays in one spot until the food supply is gone.

Douglas - That's right. It's called 'he's hungry like a motherfucker!'

(The next day with Sigma…)

Douglas - Mr. Mayor, if you open the beach on the 4th of July, it'll be like ringing the dinner bell! It'll be a salad bar, but it's not salad! It's people! It's a people bar!

Sigma - Sounds like you've been to a people bar.

Douglas - Who told you?

(Instead of playing 'Killer Shark', the kids at the arcade are playing 'We're All Gonna Die!'.)

Dumbass #1 - Hey look! I'm dead!

Dumbass #2 - Awesome!

(The two high-five each other. Then, as people run into the water, a man in a seal costume hops into the water as well. As the people in the boats are looking for Metal Shark Player, he is underwater looking at people's legs.)

Metal Shark Player - False alarm? I'll show you false alarm…

(At the hospital…)

Lifesavor - Do you want your mom to bring you anything?

X - My drugs. They're in my Hot Wheels car holder thing.

(On the boat with Zero…)

Zero - I saw a shark eat a rocking chair once. I think Old Man Jenkins was still on it.

(While chunking fish guts, Metal Shark Player surfaces, takes X's picture, then dives back underwater. Then, after Zero's story about sharks, they begin singing as Metal Shark Player tosses the barrel towards the boat.)

Metal Shark Player - Special delivery, asswipes!

(While pulling in the rope, Metal Shark Player pops out of the water.)

Metal Shark Player - Hi-dee ho, motherfuckers!

(After tying the ropes to the boat, Metal Shark Player laughs.)

Metal Shark Player - You are some stupid assholes, ya know?

(Once in the shark cage, Douglas looks up to see Metal Shark Player approaching.)

Metal Shark Player - Did you miss me?

(During the attack on the cage…)

Metal Shark Player - Playing hard to get, are we?

(After killing Zero, Metal Shark Player drags him down.)

Metal Shark Player - Don't mind if I take my snack and leave.

(Just before 'Jaws' dies, X takes aim.)

X - Smile, you son of a bitch!

Metal Shark Player - Bite me, you bitch of a son!

(As they swim away, the two laugh.)

X - I used to hate the water.

Douglas - I can't imagine why. -gets smacked- I can imagine why.

(Suddenly, Metal Shark Player jumps up and eats them both. He surfaces and smiles again.)

Metal Shark Player - Surprise, you dried-up douchebags!

(Just then, Quint swims up.)

Quint - Excuse me! How was this _not_ a Classic parody! The guy's name is Quint for Christ's sake!

MSX - So?

Quint - So?! Is that all you've got to say is so?!

MSX - Yeah, pretty much…

Quint - Argh! I don't understand you!!

* * *

Next time: The Classic series meets the best doggoned dog in the world. 


	27. Old Yeller

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #26

A Parody of Old Yeller

By: The Classic series

* * *

(In the opening credits, Bass is singing the main theme.)

Megaman - Why is daddy selling all of the steeds?

Search Man - 'Cause it's in the script.

Megaman - What's a script?

Search Man - My, my. Didn't we fall down the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Megaman - I wanna go! I wanna go!

Dr. Light - Say that one more time and it'll be five 'cross the face for you.

(Back at the house, Kalinka walks into the barn.)

Kalinka - Damn geezer. Only took one horse with him. That's amnesia for you.

(The next morning, Search Man goes outside and sees Rush sleeping.)

Search Man - You son of a bitch. Wait a minute…

Megaman - A dog!

(As Megaman runs for the dog, Search Man clotheslines him.)

Search Man - Sit yo ass down 'fore I shoot you to!

Megaman - He's not an ugly yeller dog! He's a pretty yeller dog!

Search Man - Pretty old…

(That night, Search Man hangs up some dog biscuits.)

Search Man - You touch a bite of this and, come morning, I'll take you out back and show you the meaning of bestiality.

(As Kalinka and Search Man return home, they pass some chickens.)

Search Man - Chickens got out again…

Kalinka - Maybe we need some kind of pie-making machine…

Search Man - Sounds good…

(As Bass, who's wearing a bear costume, runs up, Rush begins attacking him. Bass shoots him and Rush is knocked backwards. He beams off only to resume seconds later.)

Bass - Great… An undead dog…

(Later, Search Man turns to Kalinka.)

Search Man - Is it just me or did we invite Larry The Cable Guy over…

(That night, King sneaks into the cornfield.)

King - Mmmm… Corn…

(Rush begins barking and chasing him down. King trips and, within seconds, Rush has eaten all but King's circuitry.)

Search Man - That be the darnest thing I se since piranimima.

(The next day, Search Man finds himself being chased by a bull. Rush runs in and begins barking. Due to the color red, the bull begins chasing him.)

Search Man - That's it, Yeller! Keep her occupied!

(The next day, someone calls to the family from outside.)

Kalinka - Oh God… It's Larry!

Search Man - Quick, boy! Grab my gun!

Megaman - Yes, sir!

(Protoman rides up.)

Search Man - Oh, you're not Larry…

(After knocking Protoman off his house, he stands up.)

Protoman - Let me talk with the kid.

(Protoman draws a shotgun.)

Protoman - Come on, boy. Let's talk…

(Later, Search Man is attacked by a boar.)

Search Man - Oh, shit! It's attack of the cannibalistic piggies! This little piggy went to market. And this little shithole of a piggy is biting my leg!!

(Later, Search Man goes to pull a hair out of the mule's tail. It rears up and kicks him in the nuts before running off. Search Man freezes in place and falls over, holding the hair.)

Kalinka - I need that hair now…

Search Man - C… Coming…

(A few days later, Larry stops by again.)

Larry - You'll want to watch out. That dog might have schizophobie.

Kalinka - Schizophobie?

Larry - Fear of multiple personalities. Watch out! It's sweeping this place like the Black Plague.

(Later, a cow stumbles and falls down.)

Search Man - Cow's got the schizophobie! I'll get my Sock'em Boppers! -runs off-

(That night, a wolf attacks.)

Search Man - -has Sock'em Boppers on- Come on, wolfie! I'll show you multi personalities!

(As Megaman heads for the door, he stops, then runs off.)

Search Man - Why did we have to have a fucknut in the family? -runs after him-

Kalinka - There's no hope for him now.

Search Man - Sounds like the Terminator. Oh well… -shoots Rush-

(Seconds later, Rush respawns.)

Search Man - What the…

(Search Man kills Rush again, but he respawns.)

Search Man - Oh shit…

Narrator - And so, for the rest of eternity, Search Man tried to put Rush down, but never succeeded because this is a Disney movie and no one ever dies in a Disney movie. Ever…

MSX - Except Bambi's mom! -maniacal laughter-

* * *

Next time: MSX is interviewed by Trigger. 


	28. 60 Minutes

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #27

A Parody of 60 Minutes

By: The Legends series

* * *

(Trigger is sitting in a chair in some random room.)

Trigger - Today's story is about The Random Megaman Parody Show. To learn more about this series, we'll interview its' creator, MSX.

(MSX walks in and sits down.)

Trigger - Greetings.

MSX - Yo.

Trigger - I'll start by asking something a lot of people have been probably wondering. How did you get the idea to start this?

MSX - Well, I found several pictures that inspired me. A mock-Sailor Moon pose with X and Zero. Snake Man as Indiana Jones. Spring Man as Inspector Gadget. Basically, I've made several peoples' weird pictures come to life through story.

Trigger -Okay. Next question. Why are there no more crossover parodies?

MSX - It's too confusing. I tried to not have two series crossover twice, but it happened anyways.

Trigger - Likewise, why are the Command Mission cast rarely used?

MSX - The X series has eight games for normal consoles and two for the Gameboy. Anything I need is usually in those games, so I rarely need to check in the Command Mission roster.

Trigger - Well-said. Next, is there going to be a fourth season?

MSX - Possibly.

Trigger - Do explain.

MSX - If I were to make a fourth series, it would be strictly based on parodies the fans would want me to make. Obviously, I'd introduce the Star Force series into the mix, but nothing's in stone right now. If I got one or two requested parodies, I'd just end the series. But, if I got all but one and two, then I'd have my friends fill in the blanks.

Trigger - If you did make a fourth season, would there be a fifth or sixth?

MSX - Again, it depends. I only intended to do three series, so if I went any farther, it would be on my fans' willpower. Although, I have come up with subtitles for the seasons.

Trigger - And would those be?

MSX - Fourth Run and Fifth Impact.

Trigger - And the sixth?

MSX - I'll need time to think of that one. -laughs-

Trigger - Going back, you said you've only intended for three seasons. Yet, on your profile, you stated that the original would be 'endless'. Care to explain?

MSX - Ah, that. Well, when I first made The Random Megaman Parody Show, I decided to keep making parodies until I either died or just gave fanfictions up. Eventually, I just decided to make the series neat, for lack of a better word, and gave each series at the time two initial parodies. After that, they'd alternate turns until I decided it would be good to make a season finale.

Trigger - In Second Offense, not only did you include the season premiere and finale, but you also added 'The Lost Episode'.

MSX - I can explain that too. I simply started with the idea of an actual show about halfway through the first season. So, instead of deleting and reposting like two dozen chapters, I just waited until Second Offense ended. Then, I 'found' the video of the series premiere episode.

Trigger - What made you decide to do Looney Tunes?

MSX - To be truly honest, I don't remember. I think I just went with something that's naturally funny. Bugs Bunny was always a favorite of mine, so I just went with him.

Trigger - In the original season, First Impressions, there were running gags. Where did you come up with the inspiration for those?

MSX - Okay, I just thought it wood be funny if some used Heat Man like a lighter and lit Wood Man like a cigar. It had to be someone big and Gutsman was the obvious choice, so I went with someone not-as-well-known. Hence, Frostman. Then, at the time, I hadn't played Megaman Zero. I called Copy X Omega because I heard someone call him Omega X before.

Trigger - Omega X?

MSX - I don't remember. Anyways, I do remember that Phantom died in the original game while everyone else lived on. So, in every Zero parody, I made sure to kill him off. Then, in the X series, I've heard of several people calling Sigma an 'ass-chin'. I just jumped on the bandwagon. Then, I mistreated Data in every chapter, increasing his anger and want for revenge. He was just so happy, I had to ruin that all.

Trigger - How do you pick the proper characters for the roles you need?

MSX - I either go with someone that makes no sense, like Snakeman as Indiana Jones or Iceman as the coach from Rocky, or I just pick someone at random. Rarely will a character be perfect for a role, like Sigma as Agent Smith. He just keeps coming back.

Trigger - If you were to make another season, what parodies would you like to make?

MSX - Oh boy, should've seen this coming. -chuckles- I'd love to parody Rocky IV. I'd also like to parody Mario.

Trigger - Is that it?

MSX - Like I said before, my future as a parody-maker is in my fans' hands.

Trigger - Both the first and second series were started on time, but finish weeks, even months, late. How come?

MSX - Lack of materials. Lack of time.

Trigger - Laziness.

MSX - That too. -chuckles- However, Third Strike will be better because I actually made a little more than half the parodies a few months in advance.

Trigger - And this is supposed to help?

MSX - Of course! If I'm always a few months late when I start on time, if I start early, I might just make the deadline this time.

Trigger - Well-said. One last question. Why have you made so many Family Feud parodies?

MSX - Not only is Family Feud the greatest game show, in my opinion, but it's extremely easy to parody.

Trigger - Thank you for your time and I'll be looking forward to seeing what else you have up your sleeve.

MSX - Your welcome and thank you.

Trigger - Can I stop acting now?

MSX - Yes.

(Trigger stands up and runs for his life.)

MSX - Pansy.

* * *

Next time: The Zero series parodies one of the greatest war stories ever told. 


	29. Full Metal Jacket

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #28

A Parody of Full Metal Jacket

By: The Zero series

* * *

(In the opening scene, barbers are shaving the hair off of a bunch of wigs.)

MSX - -watching actual movie- Dude, these guys basically made this a parody. This is gonna be tough.

Zero - Does that mean that we can stop?

MSX - Of course not!

Copy X - You will not laugh. You will not cry. Why? Because I'm coming to town, motherfucker!!

(After some training, the group marches into their room.)

Copy X - This is my rifle! This is my gun!

Everyone Else - This is for fighting! This is for fun!

Michael Jackson - Shimo-na!

Copy X - Is some funny, Private Jackson?! You want to go back and molest the little kiddies?! Well, ya ain't gonna! You're gonna stay right here and jerk off for all I give a shit! Do I make myself clear?!

Michael Jackson - Sure, but stop screaming.

(During training, the group is watching American Gladiators. Then, after more training, the group begins target practice. Every time someone misses, the Duck Hunt dog laughs at them.)

Copy X - I'm gonna kill that fucking dog…

(One night, everyone gangs up on Phantom and begins hitting him with dildos while chanting 'Teabag! Teabag! Teabag!' over and over again. Time passes and Phantom is in the bathroom with a loaded rifle.)

Copy X - You pretty fucked now!

(Phantom shoots Copy X, who promptly turns into his Kaiser Body. Then, Phantom shoots himself.)

Zero - Meh. Saves me the trouble.

(Time passes and the group is in Vietnam.)

Leviathan - Me so horny! Me love you long time!

Zero - No, you should be saying, 'Me no speak English. Me need to back to noodle stand.'

(Just then, Fefnir grabs their camera and drives off. Later, an entire army is ready to move in.)

Zero - I'll get my camera back if I have to spread the American way all over this fucking country!

)Later, the group converses.)

Elpizio - My country keeps me where I belong. In the rear with the queer. Wait…

MSX - -chuckling evilly-

(Later, Harpuia is shooting the gun from the helicopter wildly.)

Harpuia - Run, you Vietnamese bastards! Run home to your beloved Charlie! Ahahaha!!

Zero - Dude, seriously. Calm down.

Harpuia - I'll fucking shoot you, man!

Zero - And stop screaming.

(After walking down the road, Zero stops at a pit filled with dead Vietnamese people.)

Zero - So much MSG…

(Time passes and Zero walks into a temporary base.)

Pantheon - Hey, ya wanna take a good picture? This is my bro.

(The Pantheon removes the blanket and Clyde looks at him.)

Clyde - Do ya mind?! I'm trying to sleep here!

(Later, the tanks begin shooting into the town.)

Zero - Yeah… The town was shit to start off with…

Pantheon - Fuck that! We're spreading the American way!

Zero - So true…

(After the interviews, a man drives up with a hooker.)

Zero - Oh no… No the 'sucky-sucky' girl again…

Pantheon - I like-a the 'sucky-sucky'.

(At the bunch of buildings, Omega looks into the center of the buildings and licks his lips.)

Omega - Mmm… Chicken…

(After he is shot, Ciel looks at him.)

Ciel - Mmm… Human flesh…

(After she is shot, Alouette grabs her gun.)

Alouette - Mmm-mmm! Action! Can't get enough!

(She gives forth a war cry and runs into the center of the buildings shooting wildly. As he uses the radio Phantom stands by a conveniently placed hole.)

Phantom - Not again. -gets shot- Damn… double roles…

(After killing the sniper, the group chants the Mickey Mouse theme. Sora is skipping along with the Keyblade in hand as Zero runs up and beams him in the face.)

Zero - You don't belong here. Outsider. -shoots Sora-

MSX - -gasp- Blasphemy! -smites Zero-

* * *

Next time: The Battle Network doesn't parody their first game, but their anime series. 


	30. Megaman Battle Network

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #30

A Parody of Megaman Battle Network

By: The Battle Network series

* * *

(MSX walks onstage.)

MSX - Ya know, I haven't played the first BN series game, thus I can't parody it. But I will make fun of the series. How so? By making fun of the anime it spawned. Not only that, but I'll parody the mangas later. Enjoy.

(MSX walks offstage and the scene fades.)

Megaman - It's time for Megaman: NT Warrior!

MSX - Stupid name…

(Megaman, Roll, Glyde, and Gutsman all appear at once.)

Megaman - Kickass.

Roll - What?

Megaman - This series has mainly Classic series characters, but… -points to Glyde- They even managed to put a Legends series guy in her.

Glyde - What about Serenade?

Megaman - Uh… I'm not sure about that. Maybe?

Narrator - Let's begin!

(Lan is fighting with an off-the-shelf Navi and is getting his as kicked by Gutsman.)

Dex - Aha! You lose! Again!

Lan - Meh. I always lose to Gutsman in Shooter Guy. I always lose to him and Zapman. Damn Zapman…

Gutsman - Meh. Shooter Guy II was better.

Lan - Probably. -goes home- I'm home.

Mom - What'd you do today?

Lan - Got my ass kicked. Again.

Mom - Things ought to change around here, right?

Lan - -snort- What's going to happen? Am I going to get the strongest Navi ever made, than become the best in the whole world?

(The phone rings.)

Lan - Hello?

Dad - I'm going to give you the strongest Navi ever made, than you'll become the best in the whole world!

Lan - Um… Thanks?

(Lan's old Navi disappears and Megaman appears.)

Lan - Go figure. The symbol on his chest is the same one on my headband. Who didn't see _that_ coming?

(Dex looks around nervously.)

Megaman - Yo! I'm Megaman, bitch! Let's knock some heads together!

Lan - -suddenly dress in a white tanktop, sagging jeans, and tons of fake bling- I'm all for that, yo!

(Lan goes up against Gutsman again and kicks his ass.)

Dex - Oh… I lost…

Lan - Did you hear that they're remaking Shooter Guy and making Megaman that star?

Dex - That's stupid! Who'd ever play something like that?

(Everyone turns to the screen. Later, at school, a new girl named Yai is introduced.)

Lan - Oh my God! She's bald!

Yai - I'm not bald! I just have my hair combed back. Unnaturally far…

Narrator - Several episodes later…

Yai - That guy's cheating!

(Yai used her head and produces a shimmer.)

Cheating Guy - Ah! I can't see because of the bald kid!

Yai - I'm not bald!

Narrator - Back in real life…

(MSX is watching Megaman when there's a knock at the door.)

Random Guy - -bunch of nonsensical jibberish-

MSX - Um… Okay…

(MSX closes the door and sits down. Spontaneously, the electricity is shut off.)

MSX - Fucking hell!

(MSX reopens the door as the man's heading for his car.)

MSX - What'd ya do?!

Random Guy - Shut off the electricity!

MSX - What?! -series of long, drawn out cursing- F'ckin' A, man. F'ckin' A. -sigh- This place sucks. Behind me is a house owned by a drug dealer. To my left, I'm got the biggest bitch in the world as a neighbor. And, as the cherry on top, I've got a pedophile to my left going after my brother. How can this get any worse?

(A truck pulls up in front of the house across the street. A bunch of shit is unloaded and drives off, leaving Leatherface looking at the house.

MSX - F'ckin' A…

(A.N. That _is_ a true story. Well, not the Leatherface part…)

Megaman - So… What now?

MSX - What do you mean? It's like three days from the first day of winter and I've got no electricity. I think watching your show is the least of my troubles.

Megaman - So, do we…

MSX - NO!! No more unexpected cancellations of parodies. I'll simply continue with the mangas.

Lan - I'm Lan. I got Megaman when I was five.

(Young Lan jumps into the air.)

Young Lan - I'm gonna look the exact same way in nine years!

Lan - However, I soon found out that Megaman was more of a bother than a stalker dressed as a clown. -shudders-

Megaman - Did you wash your hands? You forgot to brush your teeth! Wake up, lazy-bones! Eat what's put in front of you!!

Lan - But then, I got ridiculous.

Megaman - How can you be turned on by this? That position isn't even possible! No, Lan! You're supposed to jerk off with your right hand!!

Lan - Shut the fuck up!! -runs out-

Megaman - Hmph! Pussy…

Narrator - A week later…

(Lan's mom comes in and picks up the PET.)

Megaman - Oh… Hey, mom…

Lan's Mom - What's wrong?

Megaman - Lan's been gone a week and you haven't even noticed? You've got to be the world's worst mom ever!

(Lan's mom growls and plugs him into the computer.)

Megaman - Hmph. Bitch…

(Megaman looks around and finds Lan locked in a container.)

Megaman - How'd you get in here?

Young Lan - I dunno.

Megaman - How has no looked in here yet?

Young Lan - I dunno.

Megaman - How'd you _survive_?!

Young Lan - I don't fucking know! Just leave me alone.

(The container begins to be crushed.)

Megaman - Later. -disappears-

Lan - Luckily, I managed to slip out of a small trapdoor and survive. We've been arguing ever since.

Narrator - Nine years later…

Lan - -jumps out of window- I'm gone!

Ms. Mari - Oh well. Jumping out of a window and skipping school. He's so expelled.

Narrator - Moments later…

Lan - I'm home.

Lan's Mom - Well, you dad isn't. Nor will he be ever again.

Lan - Fucking Jew… -slinks to room-

Megaman - You shouldn't make fun of the Jews, you know.

Lan - Why? Why shouldn't I become the next Hitler and kill all the Jews and a clown?

Megaman - Why the clown?

Lan - See? No one cares about the Jews! -laughs uproariously-

MSX - -leans to Clyde- That wasn't in the script, was it?

Clyde - -checks script- Nope.

MSX - Mental note: Become next Hitler and kill Lan. Then, disco.

Narrator - During the next issue…

Chaud - Protoman, what does the scouter say about his power level?

(Protoman scans Megaman, then grabs his visor.)

Protoman - It's over nine thousaaa-shatters visor-aaaaaaaaaaaand!

Chaud - What?! Nine thousand?!

Megaman - Not this joke again…

Protoman - Do you know what this means?

Chaud - Yes… We must construct additional pylons! -nifty flee-

Protoman - I'll be back. -nifty flee-

Lan - Wannabes.

(Later, Megaman meets Bass.)

Megaman - What do ya know? You're not a pussy anymore.

Bass - …

Megaman - A man of few words, I see.

Bass - …

Megaman - Earth to Bass. Come in, Bass.

Bass - Treble, kill.

(Treble appears.)

Megaman - Holy shit!! That's not a dog! It's a fucking lion! -gets mauled by Treble-

Lan - Great. Now I need a new Navi.

(Bomberman walks in.)

Lan - No you, loser.

Bomberman - Oh…

(Walls spontaneously appear, as does the true Bomberman. He lays bombs around Bomberman, then runs off.)

Bomberman (MM) - Freaking whitie… -gets blown up-

(The true Bomberman laughs, then begins tea-bagging the corpse. Then, the parody ends.)

Megaman - That one sucked.

MSX - Understandable.

Megaman - How so?

MSX - If you paying attention, my electricity got shut off. I only saw like the first few episodes of the anime, I've got the first four mangas, and I haven't played any of the games. Aside from Star Force, it's this series that I know the least about.

Megaman - Star Force sucks.

MSX - Looks like it. Unlike ZX…

(Aile walks in.)

Aile - Someone call me?

MSX - So awesome…

* * *

Next time: The ZX series parodies a Steven King classic. 


	31. Carrie

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #31

A Parody of Carrie

By: The ZX series

* * *

(Instead of volleyball, the girls are playing basketball.)

Girl #1 - Pass the ball, Stacy!

Girl #2 - Move over, bitch!

(Suddenly, Serpent comes out of nowhere and knocks a girl into the stands, stealing the ball and slam dunking it.)

Serpent - Yeah! What up now, fool?

(Prairie misses the shot and all the other girls walk by her, insulting her. The first girl hits Prairie with her hat, the second pushes her, and the third breaks a bottle of Jack Daniels over her head.)

Pandora - -has a fez on- Dumb bitch.

(In the locker room, the camera pans left to see girls getting dressed, girls playing around, and girls in a Mexican standoff.)

Pandora - -has a sombrero on- LET'S DO THIS, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

(In the midst of all the half-naked girls, Clyde is standing in the middle of the locker room holding a beer bobbing his head.)

Clyde - -mimicking Quagmire's voice- All riiiiiiiiight. Jiggly-wiggly.

(Prairie opens her mouth in the shower and water begins filling her mouth until she begins choking. Then, one of the girls opens a locker filled with lawn darts and everyone begin throwing them at Prairie. Aile tries to comfort Prairie.)

Aile - It's okay. It's okay. They're all gone. Hey… you've got something… right here.

(Prairie feels around and pulls a lawn darts out of her face. Then, Girouette continuously calls Prairie worse and worse names.)

Girouette - I'm sorry about what happened, Cassie.

Prairie - It's Prairie…

Girouette - Whatever. Anyways, Katie…

Prairie - It's Prairie.

Girouette - Anyways, perhaps we can move Philip here to a different class.

Prairie - It's Prairie!

Girouette - Yeah, yeah… We're all sad about this incident, Hawthorn.

Prairie - -in demonic tone- It's Prairie!!

(The random person on the bike is hit by a car that comes shooting out of the front door of a random house.)

Random Guy - Whoops. Kinda missed the driveway there.

(Later, after shoving Prairie in the closet, Ashe slams the door shut.)

Ashe - I hope you find Jesus. -walks off-

Prairie - Phew! I'm glad she's gone.

(Jesus is sitting in the corner for no reason.)

Jesus - You're telling me!

(Time passes.)

Ashe - You're a woman now.

(Ashe shoots Prairie in the foot. Then, Ashe forces Prairie to read from 'The Little Engine That Could'.)

Ashe - I think I can. I think I can.

Prairie - I was so scared…

Ashe - Say it.

Prairie - No.

Ashe - Say it!

Prairie - I think I can. I think I can.

(Later, Prairie is locked in the closet. She lights a match and sees Jesus is in there with her.)

Jesus - What? She locked me in here too.

(The next day, a random kid mumbles under his breath.)

Random Kid - Why don't you go back to touching little kids at Chuck E. Cheese?

Random Guy - What?

Random Kid - I said I'd like some water, please.

(On the field, as the girls are doing jumping jacks, Clyde looks at the girls and nods perversely. As they do stretches, Clyde and one friend stands behind one of the girls.)

Clyde - Up and down. Up and down. Oh, yeah…

(Clyde and three other people stand in front of girls nodding perversely as the girls do squats. As the girls do sit-ups, Clyde and five friends are sitting with their legs open so when the girls descend, their head connects with their crotches. During push-ups, Clyde and seven of his friends lay on their backs so it makes the girls are giving them 'head'.)

Clyde - This is too fun…

(In library, Prairie flips through index cards and stops at 'Woo-hoo! The Story Of My Life. By Michael Jackson' Then, as Hurricaune walks away, she gives Aile the finger. Without looking, Aile picks up a rock and throws it behind her, hitting Hurricaune in the head.)

Aile - Saw that.

(On the field, Hurricaune storms off.)

Clyde - Come on, guys. Party's going this way.

(Clyde and nine friends walk after her. Then, Vent drives by an old man who swings his walker at him.)

Old Man - Conflabbin' yougsters! With your… rock n' roll… and your… Juicyfruit gum… con… flabbit…

(Vent then backs up to the old guy.)

Old Man - Whaddya want?

(Vent pushes the old guy off a bridge.)

Old Man - as he's falling- Dagnabbiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

Vent - Dumb shit.

(Vent hits a bid red button on the dashboard. Suddenly, the seat the girl is sitting on ejects out of the roof of the car.)

Vent - I told you never to call me that! Wait… I already killed the guy… Oops…

(After some interesting shit happens, Ashe and Prairie are at the dinner table.)

Prairie - I've been asked to the prom.

Ashe - Prom? Cliché, please.

(Lightning strikes in the background. Later, the guys go to kill the pig. One of the guys takes his shirt off and begins to take his pants off.)

Grey - Here, piggy! Here, piggy piggy!

Prometheus - Whoa! What are you doing?

Grey - The… piggy…

Prometheus - We're, uh, here to kill a pig. And only kill a pig.

Grey - Oooooooooohh… that would explain the hammer.

(Later, Vent gasps.)

Vent - Gasp! You can see your squishy fun lumps!

(As people walk into the gym, the theme of the prom on the banner is 'Sex in the Backseat'. Later, Prairie talks to Aile during prom.)

Prairie - It's… it's like being on Mars.

(Suddenly an astronaut walks by.)

Astronaut - Houston… we've got a lot of kids up here.

(He looks around.)

Astronaut - Man, most of these kids are frickin' ugly.

(As the camera pans across the bottom of the stage where Prometheus and Hurricaune are hiding, you see two unrecognizable shadows moving, along with an squealing sound.)

Grey - Piggy!

Model X - Before I announce the prom king and queen, I will give the 'Eat Yourself Stupid' award to Fatty McFat Fat!

(The shot goes to an obese lady sitting behind stacks of chicken bones.)

Fat Chick - My name's Sarah!" -crying- -munching- -crying-

(Hurricaune pulls the rope and a pig falls out of the bucket, hitting Prairie in the head.)

Hurricaune - You idiot! You were supposed to get pig's blood! Not a whole pig!

Vent - Ooooooohhh… easily remedied.

(Vent walks onto the stage, tears the pig in half, and drains the blood onto Prairie. He then gives Hurricaune a thumbs up and goes back under the stage. Seconds later, Prairie telekinetically closes the doors and looks up.)

Prairie - It's on now, bitch.

(After some more interesting shit happens, Prairie tries to stab Ashe with a whisk. It bounces off several times before it manages to stab Ashe. Moments later, the entire house starts floating up towards the sky.)

God - Nah! I'm just screwin' with ya!

(The house falls into a pit in the ground. Then, when a girl goes to put down flowers, Prairie pokes her head up.)

Prairie - Can you say sequel?

(Suspenseful music plays as girl starts screaming.)

* * *

Next time: The X series takes a walk in Jurassic Park. 


	32. Jurassic Park

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #32

A Parody of Jurassic Park

By: The X series

* * *

(When Spark Mandrill is pulling a rope in, Lifesavor is standing on a wooden raft. Mandrill yanks the cord and Lifesavor falls into the water.)

Lifesavor - Little bastard!

(In the background, a person pulls rope too hard and water splashes on man on ground. The man on the ground throws a rock at the man on the cliff. The man on cliff falls to the ground and the water bucket hits the man on the ground. Then, instead of a dinosaur skeleton, the archaeologists are brushing off a human skeleton that is sprawled out.)

Double - That doesn't look very scary. Now, my uncle after he's been drinking for an hour: THAT'S scary.

(Time passes…)

Alia - If you wanted to scare the kid, you could've pulled a gun on him.

(X stops walking.)

X - Great idea! Back in a sec.

(X runs away and you hear, 'MOMMY!!!' Then, X and Alia enter their trailer.)

Dr. Cain - I can tell about people instantly. It's a gift. For instance, you're wearing women's underwear.

Alia - Of course I am. I'm a woman.

Dr. Cain - I meant both of you.

(Lumine walks up to Sigma and pulls out Cheez-Wiz.)

Lumine - The bottom screws open. You can even check it out.

(Sigma puts Cheez-Wiz in his hand, then wipes it on the pie. The pie arrives at a person's table.)

Person - Uh… what's this?

Waiter - It appears to be… Cheez-Wiz, sir.

Person - Cheez-Wiz on pie? Hot diggity damn!

(On the island, X and Alia look shocked at something. The camera turns to see that it is Douglas doing vulgar penile thrusts at a tree.)

X - What else do you have?

Dr. Cain - Well, I've clocked the T-Rex at thirty miles an hour.

X - Say that again.

Dr. Cain - We have a T-Rex.

X - Not that. The part about the clock.

(After watching the cheesy movie, the ride turns past a lab where a scientist puts down an egg.)

X - That reminds me. I still haven't eaten breakfast.

(X breaks from the restraints and walks back to the room.)

Alia - How do you know all of the dinosaurs are female?

Dr. Cain - We chop their dicks off. A man without a dick is a woman. Case closed.

(At the raptor's cage, X looks up.)

X - What are they doing?

(Dynamo is unconscious in a blue harness which is being lifted into the cage.)

Dr. Cain - Feeding him.

(While walking down the stairs to the tour…)

Iris - Grandpa!

(Iris runs up and hugs Dr. Cain while Axl slowly walks up.)

Axl - This is fucking ridiculous! I'm not that young. Although…

(Iris turns to Axl as he raises his eyebrows. Zero draws his saber.)

Zero - Stand down, shitface.

(Later, Zero walks up to a massive pile of crap.)

Zero - Damn! And I thought _I_ had bad diarrhea! Who did this?

(Infinity Mijinion slowly steps forward.)

Zero - I wouldn't believe you if my life depended on it.

(In the office. Sigma's picture appears on the computer. He is doing vulgar thrusts towards the screen.)

Sigma - You didn't say magic word! You're a bitch! You're a bitch! You're a bitch! You're a bitch! -etc. etc.-

(As water in cups begin to ripple, Axl gapes.)

Axl - Oh no. Not big gay Bubba..

(As Mattrex breaks form the cage, Zero raises an eyebrow.)

Zero - Dude, I'm as big as that thing.

(When the bathroom walls fall down, Mattrex looks at Sigma, who's on a toilet.)

Sigma - How convenient…

(As Mattrex is spinning the car with Axl in it, X and Iris nearly fall off a cliff.)

X - What happened to the ground that the goat was on? What the fuck kinda shit is this?!

(When Sigma is in the car with Hyenard…)

Hyenard - Burn! Burn! Burn to the ground! Burn!

(Sigma begins screaming as the car is rocking and Sigma is getting killed by the sound of Hyenard's voice. Then, while chased by Mattrex, Zero, Alia, and Vile drive off. Vile looks into the side mirror. It reads 'Objects in mirror are closer than they appear'. Vile notices the fine print as Mattrex is seemingly about to eat the mirror.)

Mattrex - I guess you're pretty fucked now.

(In the visitors' center…)

Dr. Cain - I wanted to make something that they could see. That they could touch. That they could know is real.

X - So, you made a T-Rex?

Dr. Cain - Oh, do shut the fuck the up!

(After some interesting (not really) stuff happens, Axl is on the fence.)

Axl - Are you crazy? I'm not going to jump!

(The power is turned on and Axl goes flying down the field.)

Iris - Well, I guess he jumped.

(As Izzy Glow is about to shoot a raptor, another one pops up next to him.)

Izzy Glow - Smartass mother…

(The raptor jumps on him and begins to eat him. In the visitors' center, Iris begins shaking as Axl turns and sees the silhouette of Michael Jackson holding his crotch in the background. He gasps and they run into the kitchen. Then, after they escape and the helicopter goes to fly off of the island, Mattrex jumps up and causes the helicopter to explode.)

Mattrex - I'm a fucking all-star, bitch! I'm gonna hit the big time!

* * *

Next time: The Classic series goes Psycho. 


	33. Psycho

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #33

A Parody of Psycho

By: The Classic series

* * *

(Enker wakes up with Roll and opens the blinds. A tour group consisting of a dozen old ladies drop their jaws as they notice that Enker is naked.)

Enker - Time for my daily 'Dance By The Window' exercises!

(The old ladies run for their lives.)

Enker - Wonder what was up with them?

(In the desert, Roll is driving down the road as the policeman behinds her turns on his siren. It says, 'I'm gonna get you! I'm gonna get you!')

Roll - Just great… A stalker…

(At the garage, Gutsman, the mechanic, takes the car into the garage. Seconds later, a gunshot rings out.)

Roll - What the hell?!

Gutsman - I've shot your car.

Roll - It's an expression! You're not supposed to actually shoot it!

MSX - It was around this point that I realized that this may not be the Psycho I wanted… Then, a little later, I went back to the main menu. To my surprise, this _is_ Psycho. Gosh, I haven't seen this in a while. Looked like a whole different movie.

Megaman - Retard.

MSX - Victim of my imagination.

(From her room, Roll can hear a woman screaming from the house. Inside, Data is watching _Psycho_.)

Data - Excellent. Now, I've got a plan. Mom!! Food! Now! Gimme! Gimme!

(By the end of the conversation, Roll is uneasy.)

Roll - I think I'll go back to my room now.

Data - -calmly- What's the rush?

Roll - I'm in a room with a psychotic monkey. -runs out-

Data - Women. They're all the same.

(In the famous scene, Data, dressed as a woman, rips the shower curtains away and revs up a chainsaw. Roll screams as Data begins hacking her to pieces with the famous tune playing in the background.)

Data - -Achievement Unlocked- 'Hack A Bitch'? Awesome! That's another 500 points on my gamer score!

(After Data disposes of the evidence, Protoman begins asking people around town about Roll.)

Protoman - Most peculiar. Everyone's says she's not here. The only logical explanation is that she _is_ here, but has brainwashed everyone into thinking she isn't! Away! -runs off-

(After questioning Data, Protoman sneaks into the house and walks up the stairs. Data, dressed as a woman, jumps out of a door.)

Data - I told you to get lost!

(The music restarts as Data kills Protoman.)

Data - -Achievement Unlocked- 'Hack A Bastard'? Awesome! Another 500 points!

(Later, Megaman and Kalinka check into room ten, then go into room one.)

Megaman - Time for some stealth ops! -puts on war paint- Lock and load!

Kalinka - Over-reactor.

(In the basement of the house, Data, dressed as a woman, walks up towards Kalinka.)

Data - Here's Johnny!

Kalinka - Wrong movie!

MSX - Wow. It really was Data dressed as a woman.

(In the cell, Data looks calmly around.)

Data - I'll be back. And don't you worry. When I get out…

(Data smiles evilly.)

Data - There will be hell to pay…

MSX - You know, after what I remember about Psycho, I think that the one I just parodied is a remake.

Megaman - Does it really matter?

MSX - No. Just thought I'd point it out.

Megaman - Whatever.

* * *

Next time: Trigger introduces 'his little friend'. 


	34. Scarface

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #34

A Parody of Scarface

By: The Legends series

* * *

(A.N. I should warn you ahead of time that some parts of this parody will get out of control _really_ fast.)

(During the opening credits, MSX is sitting down smoking a Cuban cigar.)

MSX - What? No one was Cuban. I asked.

Data - Aren't those against the law?

MSX - I am the law!

(Data is being interviewed by some officers.)

Birdbot - You ever been in a mental hospital?

Data - Yeah, on the boat ride here. -smiles-

Birdbot - What about sexual preference?

Data - What?

Birdbot - Are you homophobic or homosexual?

Data - Excuse me?

Birdbot - Do you like men, Tony? Huh?! -unzips pants and shoves his crotch in Data's face- Ya like penis, Tony?! Huh?! Ya like the penis, Tony?!

Data - Get this sick fuck away from me!!

(After talking to Trigger, Data smiles.)

Data - You tell your friend in Miami that I kill communists for fun. But for green card, I carve him like Thanksgiving turkey.

Trigger - You can't do that, man.

Data - Why not?

Trigger - 'Cause he's a communist chicken.

(Data smacks him upside his head with some difficulty. During the riot, everyone begins chanting 'Burger King' as the Burger King king begins running out of the tent. Just then, Data stabs him in the chest.)

Data - I don't want your fucking burgers.

(Data walks off as the Burger King king stumbles down the road, falls down, and dies in a pile of Whoppers. Later, several nights later, Teasel pulls up.)

Teasel - You know a thing or two about Pixie Stix?

Data - You kidding me?

Teasel - Couple of Japanese coming in soon. Say they've got Grade A sugar for me. If it's up to my standards, you pay them and bring it back. Then, you've got five grand.

Data - That all?

Teasel - Ya know how to work a Super Soaker? Word has it these Japanese don't like gettin' wet. If they talk trash, mess 'em up a little bit.

(After killing the Japanese people and taking their Pixie Stix, Data goes to a payphone.)

Data - Um… Let's see… What kinda pizza do ya guys want?

Glyde - What about…

Data - I'll get there.

(While delivering the goods to Appo, he hands Data and Tron two glasses. Data downs his instantly.)

Data - Mmm… Urine… My favorite!

(When they enter the bar, What Is Love begins playing and the three begin nodding their heads to the music.)

Roll - Ya wanna dance?

Data - I guess.

(Data and Tron follow Roll to the dance floor, then begin bumping Roll back in forth with their lower torsos.)

(Three months pass and both Data and Tron find themselves on the beach.)

Tron - Ya wanna know how to pick up chicks in this country?

(Tron begins taking her clothes off as Data laughs in a perverted manner.)

MSX - Hold it! I'm confused! First, we're in the US. But then what? Are we still in the states or are we in Cuba? Then, suddenly we're in Bolivia?! -takes Advil- Ugh… Just… Just keep going…

(Data watches as Tron is hung from a helicopter.)

Dah - All is going according to plan…

Data - All according to plan…

(Outside, by the pool, Data and Roll begin talking.)

Data - You like kids? I like kids. You and I should make many kids.

Roll - You're… a fucking monkey…

Data - And you're a perfect female companion. What's the problem?

Roll - The problem is… you're a fucking monkey.

Data - I know. -Fonzie pose-

(As Data enters the disco, he sees Shu dancing with some jock. Data gets twitch in his eye as Juno pops in.)

Juno - Oh snap! -pops out-

(In the bathroom, Data backhands Shu.)

Data - And that is how you pimp a bitch! -walks off-

(As a masked man comes onstage and begins dancing, Data stares at him with a catatonic, stoned gaze.)

Data - Colors…

(The Servbot and Birdbot stand up and reveals their guns.)

Servbot - Die, masked man!

(They both empty their clips into the dancing man.)

Data - Poor dancing man…

(In Barrell's office, he begins groveling at Data's feet.)

Barrell - Please, give me a second chance!

Data - There are no second chances.

(Tron walks up and shoots a dart into Juno's chest.)

Juno - A-Actually, that really didn't…

(Tron pulls out a shotgun and blows Juno away.)

Data - Now him.

(Tron shoots the cop.)

Tron - What about him?

(Data turns to Trigger.)

Data - You want a job?

(After a montage about Data's rise to power, he gets in an argument with everyone, then begins talking to himself.)

Data - Stupid assholes… I'm the only one I trust… Freaking douchebags… Ooh! Big Bird's crucifixion is on!

(Later, in the restaurant, Roll declares her want for a divorce and she leaves.)

Data - I'm so stoned… It's time to bring out… ma little friend…

(Later, as they're following a family of Servbots, Data push the button and blows up the car. Then, he shoots the guy next to him.)

Data - I am Data! I am a force to reckoned with! I… Am… Invincible!!

(One day, Data gets up.)

Data - My world's gone to Hell. Time to go out with a bang. I'll start off by killing my best friend.

(He walks over and grabs a case labeled 'Ma Little Friend'. At the end of the parody, Data snaps.)

Data - Ya wanna fuck with me?! I've fucked with polar bears who could tap dance! I've fucked with a big ass Russian dude with spaghetti noodles for arms! You can't fuck with me! I'm invincible!!

(Data is shot from behind and the parody ends as Trigger walks downstairs.)

Trigger - Yeah, in your dreams.

* * *

Next time: The Zero series parodies the first 'strapped-to-a-chair-and-forced-to-watch-TV' movie. 


	35. Clockwork Orange

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #35

A Parody of Clockwork Orange

By: The Zero series

* * *

(As four Pantheons try to rape Ciel, the Guardians walk up dressed in white. After destroying the Pantheons, Fefnir grunts.)

Fefnir - It's time for tea!

(Fefnir squats down in the Pantheon's face and farts.)

Fefnir - Oops! That'll cost you extra. -laughs uproariously-

(Minutes later, the four are driving down the road.)

Harpuia - Get out of our way! If you don't, we'll kill ya! We'll probably kill ya anyways, but who cares? -laughs maniacally-

(After breaking into the house, Fefnir smirks.)

Fefnir - Boot! -kicks old man in face-

(Everyone walks into the living room and sees Alouette.)

Fefnir - Fuck this. I'm no pedophile.

Harpuia - Same here.

Phantom - Ditto.

Leviathan - Outta here.

(The Guardians leave, making Alouette raise an eyebrow.)

Alouette - Alrighty then…

(The next morning, as Harpuia's correctional officer jabbers on, Harpuia gets annoyed and stabs him in the face.)

Harpuia - You're pretty dead now, yes? Honestly! Never have I heard anyone say 'yes' so many times in a row!

(After scoring with two chicks, Harpuia looks at the clock.)

Harpuia - Best two minutes of my entire life.

(At the marina, Harpuia draws a dagger, but accidentally slits Phantom's wrists.)

Harpuia - Oh well… MSX will bring him back… Someday…

(In the apartment, Harpuia raises the penis-like sculpture.)

Harpuia - Teabag! -beams woman in face with sculpture-

(In the station, Harpuia smirks and backhands the officer in the nuts.)

Harpuia - Tipper.

(Harpuia is sentenced, then jailed.)

Guard - Anything else in your pocket?

(Harpuia reaches into his pocket.)

Harpuia - Just this.

(Harpuia pulls a middle finger out of his pocket.)

Guard - One severed finger. Caucasian. Probably male.

(During the sermon, a Pantheon continuously makes kissing motions at Harpuia. He finally holds up a sign that says, 'Make kissing motions one more time and I'll share with you the single most painful experience known to man.')

Guard - What's going on here?

(The guard looks at Harpuia, who has hidden the sign.)

Harpuia - Nothing.

(After being transferred, Harpuia is strapped to a chair.)

Random Guy - Bring in the stripper!

Harpuia - What?!

(Dr. Weil floats in.)

Harpuia - Oh, dear God! Have mercy!

(Dr. Weil puts down a beatbox.)

Harpuia - I repent! I repent!

(Dr. Weil pushes play and 'Too Sexy For My Shirt' begins playing.)

Harpuia - Get me out of this thing! Help! Someone! Anyone! Get me out of here!

(Dr. Weil rips off his clothes and Harpuia cries out so loud, the glass in the International Space Station shatters.)

Random Astronaut - Houston, we have a problem.

(During the presentation, Ciel, who's naked, walks up to Harpuia.)

Harpuia - Today's my lucky… -gags- Women… Yuck… Need… penis…

(Time passes and, after being mauled by Clyde and his friends, Harpuia is beaten by Leviathan and Fefnir.)

Fefnir - Cured, are you?

Harpuia - You'll regret this.

Fefnir - Yeah, right! What could you possibly do? -walks off-

Harpuia - -sputters- You'll find out soon enough…

(That night, as Harpuia takes his bath, Copy X slams his dick in a door and just sits there with a weird look on his face. Later, in the room, Harpuia opens a window and flies off.)

Harpuia - Later, losers!

(Harpuia then hunts down the other two Guardians an stabs them in the face.)

Harpuia - Back at ya, bitches!

* * *

Next time: I pay tribute to the angriest gamer you've ever heard. 


	36. A Tribute To The Angry Video Game Nerd

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #36

A Tribute To The Angry Video Game Nerd

By: The Battle Network series

* * *

(MSX walks onto the stage with Tomahawk Man, Lan, Maylu, and Protoman.) 

MSX - Armake. Fat Mann Judgeth. The Nerd himself. They are so many over-the-top reviews that I figured that it was time for me to jump on the bandwagon and force my favorite characters from this series to review the four worst games I've ever played. I wouldn't suggest these games to the people who made them.

Lan - They're that bad?

MSX - And possibly worse. Anyways, let's go down the list of my favorites, starting with number one.

Tomahawk Man - I'll be reviewing Shitty Game #4, King of Fighters XII. Now, let's take a look. Average graphics. Average characters. Average moves. Average series. I wish I could stop here, but I can't. I also can't help shake the feeling that I've seen this somewhere before.

(Tomahawk Man puts in the game.)

Tomahawk Man - Okay, as the apparent usual of the series, the plot isn't worth shit. So, let's play. Okay, decent voicework. Okay. Graphics and sound are typical this day in age. But, still… Anyways, characters are average as usual. Moves are average as usual with the possible exception of one or two. Wait a minute! Now I know where I remember this from!

(Tomahawk Man puts in Fatal Fury for the Sega Genesis.)

Tomahawk Man - This is the same fucking game that was on the Genesis! What the fucking hell?! You've got three characters, moves, specials, half-ass graphics… What the fuck?! After an ungodly amount of sequels and the eventually name change, King of Fighters XII remains unchanged since its' debut on the Genesis, save more characters and better graphics. What a fucking load of shit!!

MSX - True, I'd play KoF XII over Fatal Fury any day, but still… Come on! The same fucking game over a course of a decade? What the fuck gives?! Thus concludes KoF XII. Next is Protoman.

Protoman - I'm here to review Shitty Game #3, Pac-Man World 2. Okay, first off, the looks. Graphics are good. Music's good. MSX's seen few games with sound effects that are so crisp. But, it gets real shitty real fast. First level is the Pac-Village. Okay, Pac-Man is spontaneously an entire race, but whatever. Just as long as the game is good… Anyways, you collect fruit, pac-dots, tokens to unlock Pac-Man mini-games, the usual.

MSX - -snorts- Keep going.

Protoman - Challenge level: Decently easy. But, then again, all first levels are supposed to be easy. Second level: the woods. Challenge level: Still Decently Easy. True, the difficulty's a little higher, but nothing much.

MSX - I'll narrate this part myself. For those of you nerd fans out there, if you've seen his reaction the Rocky for the Sega Master System, that's what my reaction was to this.

Protoman - Third level: Icecap. Difficulty level: Holy Fucking Shit!! How do you go from being so easy to, at times, impossible to perfect.

MSX - It's true. Look it up.

Protoman - Okay, got past the level with the skin of my balls. Fourth level: volcano.

MSX - Ah, the ever-so-annoying fire levels. Remember the difficulty jump from Apollo Creed to Clubber Lang? Well, that's the transaction from stage two to stage three. Got that? Now do it again.

Protoman - Challenge level: Oh My Fucking God!! I'm Going To Fucking Kill Someone!! The icecap was hard enough, but this is absolute bullshit. And on top of that, the boss of the level is the red ghost!

MSX - Don't get it? Well, let me put it to you this way. On my best, and only successful, attempt to beat the boss, I went from eighty-eight lives to thirty-two. That's fifty-six lives on one boss. That bastard is the most cuss-inducing boss I've ever faced in my lifetime.

Protoman - What the fuck where the producers smoking?! Anyways, you get by that level at the cost of your soul and your sanity, the fifth level is the underwater levels.

MSX - Remember that Rocky transaction and how you've applied it twice already? Do it _again_!

Protoman - Challenge level: I'M FUCKING E-BAYING THIS PIECE OF SHIT!!!

MSX - Yeah, that's how far I got before I got angry and sold it. As for how hard the last level is… I don't know and I truly don't care. The game was nearly impossible on the third level. So the sixth, I imagine, would be Satan himself playing against you. Thus concludes Shitty Game #3. Next is Lan.

Lan - I'm here with Shitty Game #2, Tecmo's Deception.

MSX - I don't recall what else Tecmo's done, but I remember that it rocked. Now, as for me personally, I'm a Christian. This game's about resurrecting Satan to reek vengeance on your two-timer, shit-eating brother who's framed you for killing your father, the king. The whole resurrecting Satan thing was an instant turn-off for me, but I still gave it a try. Not a day goes by that I don't regret it.

Lan - Okay, the first level is some kind of afterlife lounge. Okay. Pretty cliché surroundings. You walk around and learn about some kind of race to revive Satan I think. Anyways, you soon come across a douche who's out to kill you for no reason. It's probably Jehovah's Witness.

MSX - Yeah, probably.

Lan - Anyways, so the first puzzle of the game. You got to activate three traps in a certain order and lose health in the process. Next, you…

MSX - That's were I stopped and went, 'Say what?! I have to get hurt to get further into the game?!' What if I accidentally got the wrong order and had to start over. Too bad, don't have enough health. I'm dead, again, and I get a Game Over. Fuck this. Returned to case. Returned to store. Exchanged for a non-blasphemous game. End of story. And this ends Tecmo's Deception. Finally, Maylu, my fourth favorite character of the series, will narrate the number one worst game I've ever played.

Maylu - Thank you. But, do I have to swear?

MSX - Fuck yeah!

Maylu - -sigh- Fine. And now, Shitty Game #1, Spawn: The Eternal.

MSX - This game's so bad, it's on the list on Wikipedia of the worst games ever made. Right up there with E.T., Bomberman: Act Zero, and Custer's Revenge.

Maylu - Okay, so you start the game in a 3D environment as Spawn. Okay, that's cool. Spawn's fucking sweet. But, he doesn't have his cape. Well, you can't be perfect. So, you find some guy with numb nuts walking around aimlessly and you enter a 2D dimension. Um… Okay… I didn't have time to react and now I'm getting my ass kicked. Oh! And _now_ he's got the cape. Okay, pause and look at the manual for the moves.

MSX - But wait, folks! What if you're me and you don't have one?! Two words: Button Mashing!!

Maylu - Okay, so I was extremely cheap and the guy's out cold. So, I go through the first level, fight a few bosses, and yay! The second level: medieval times. Now, I'll just… Wait… Why is Spawn blue and white? I didn't get the game to play as a blue and white Spawn. A blue and white Spawn is gay! Give me his black suit back! Oh well…

MSX - Oh no! Do you know what that is, kiddies?

Maylu - Great, another 3D-to-2D-conversion-that-takes-less-than-a-second fight. And guess what? The cape's back. At least it's still red. So, why can't Spawn be black? Anyways, beat the guy and, oh look. Cape's gone again. Why won't they let you keep the cape? The cape's fucking sweet! Anyways, I beat a few bosses and I'm at the third level: the Amazon or some other tropical jungle bullshit. Oh… Great… Now Spawn looks like a native. Actually, he looks like he's made of wood.

MSX - If you can get a screenshot, he does.

Maylu - Now, fight some more guys, cape's still red, cape isn't in normal mode, anger rising. Okay, third world, third stage. Now, I'll get a running jump and… -falls down- Oh well. I must not have been far enough. -backs up to the far wall- Okay, running jump! -misses the jump even more than before- Um… Okay, I can make this jump. They wouldn't release the game if you couldn't, right?

MSX - Several weeks later…

Maylu - FUCK!!! I CAN'T MAKE THIS FUCKING JUMP THAT A TODDLER COULD MAKE!! WHY CAN'T I MAKE THIS FUCKING JUMP!!! Okay, calm down… Calm down… Let's use Gameshark.

MSX - Blasphemy.

Maylu - Okay, I've got every code on the disc on right now. So, up and over! -misses the jump- FUCK!!! Okay, skip the level.

MSX - To be truly honest, from here on, I just kept skipping levels, too much of the same old shit just laying around.

Maylu - Okay, final level: Hell. And, he's black again. Why couldn't he be black before? Anyways, I face Gabriel, win, and go on. Okay… Um… Uh… Now what do I do…

MSX - After about an hour, I skipped the level.

Maylu - Level four, stage two. Hey, stairs! We haven't seen enough of those already! Now, I guess I've got to… go… up… the… stairs? -listens to the BGM-

MSX - BGM is the background music. Okay, let me set the scene for you. The Exorcist. Scariest movie ever right? Actually, it's overrated up the ass. I wasn't scared at all. I was just creeped out a little. Now, listen to this music at one in the morning with no lights on aside from the TV for _ten minutes_. After the time is up, two things will have happened. Number one: The Ring effect. You died of fright. Or number two: You lost your mind. I've heard some pretty creepy BGM before and this _is_ Hell, but Doom took place on Hell and that music was kickass. This music is just over the top, make-you-shit-your-pants kind of stuff.

Maylu - -in the fetal position-

MSX - Maylu?

Maylu - -in the fetal position- Mommy… I want mommy… -sucks thumb-

MSX - Heh… Okay then. At this point in time, I sold the game and got Megaman Anniversary Collection from the money. I had more fun with it, but… Anyways, I didn't finish the level, I just stopped on the stairs, listened to the music for a few minutes, and turned the game off, never to put it back into the system. How close was I to the final boss? What did the last levels sound like? Were there anymore of those impossible jumps? I truly don't give a fuck. And now, to finish the parody in typical nerd fashion.

(MSX reaches into a cooler, pulls out a Rolling Rock, opens it, and chugs it down.)

* * *

Next time: The ZX series gets parodied. 


	37. Megaman ZX

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #37

A Parody of Megaman ZX

By: The ZX series

* * *

(MSX sits down in a rocking chair placed in the middle of a dark, empty room. He puts on glasses and opens a storybook.)

MSX - Once upon a time, there were two kids. Vent and Aile. They lived in the same timeline and they both went through the exact same things, but the dialogue was different. Thus, this conundrum collapsed the time/ space continuum and all of existence vanished all because Capcom didn't give them separate stories. The end.

(MSX looks around.)

MSX - M-Maybe I should just parody the game…

(The scene changes to a cliff were Aile gazes at the Slither Co. building.)

(A.N. Aile's my favorite, so I'll parody her storyline. Don't worry, though. Vent's is exactly the same.)

Aile - Serpent… Slither Co… So unoriginal…

Giro - No shit! This was the sixth Megaman series!

Aile - Meh.

(Galleons run up and blow up Aile's bike, knocking her off the cliff.)

Aile - Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… -lands- …lls… My back…

Guardian - Freeze!

Aile - Great…

(The Giga Aspis appears and knocks the Guardians down.)

Aile - Yes! Now's my chance! But, wait… Her… She… Stranger… Girl… Agh! -runs in front of Prairie- I won't let you kill her unless I get five bucks first!

(Aile uses Model X for the first time.)

Giga Aspis - -roars- -translating- My face! My beautiful face!

Aile - Hot diggety damn! I'm taking this with me!

Prairie - I'm Prairie.

Aile - I know. Whenever you speak, it says your name. -runs off-

Prairie - -looks up at speech bubble- Then what the hell's the point?

(Aile rips through Area A.)

Aile - Prepare to die! -blows up Giga Aspis- Pwned.

(Aile walks into a small room.)

Aile - Prairie needs help.

Guardians - Let's go! -run off-

Aile - I'm…

Guardians - -through transmission- We've reached Prairie!

Aile - The hell?! They just left! Oh well… To find Giro! -runs off-

(Aile enters and rips through Area B.)

Aile - Easy.

(Giro cuts off the boss' wing.)

Giro - What up?

Aile - Yo!

(Aile enters the Area C.)

Guardian - In order to become a Guardian, you must find five of our men who are hidden in places you'll never…

Aile - Found 'em.

Guardian - Oh… Um… Here… -hands Aile stuffed animal-

Aile - Okay… Was that seriously the test?

Guardian - Yes. Why?

(Aile turns around to see a bunch of drunkards wearing Guardian uniforms.)

Hillbilly Guardian - Jimmy cracked corn, so I did too!

Aile - Go figure…

(Aile stores the stuffed animal in hammerspace (look it up) and walks up to a civilian.)

Aile - Hi.

Civilian - Hello.

(Aile uses Model X.)

Civilian - Agh! Maverick!

Aile - People in this city sure are retarded.

(Aile gets a mission and heads to Area D.)

Serpent - Zap.

Giro - Agh! My head!

Aile - Yo!

Giro - Kill… annoying white one!

Aile - I'm blue.

Giro - Right… Annoying blue one!

Aile - Better.

(Aile beats Giro, then gets zapped by Serpent.)

Serpent - Zap.

Aile - Agh! -falls down-

Giro - -laughing-

Aile - What?

Giro - I'm using Model Z and I'm about to die…

Aile - What else is new?

(Giro dies and Aile uses Model ZX.)

Aile - I just wiped out eight or so Galleons just by using this model. Why can't I do that a second time?

Inafune - 'Cause that would be to easy! -laughs-

Aile - Right.

(Aile goes to Area E.)

Aile - Easy. Easy. Easy.

Hivolt - What up!

Aile - Yo! Wait… You're not Giro!

Hivolt - No shit! -gets killed-

Model H - I am Model H.

Aile - Agh! They talk!

Model H - I am only half of what I used to be.

Aile - Then why do you look whole?

Model H - Work with me here…

(Aile enters Area F.)

Aile - I'm underwater, yet I can breathe.

Model X - Why?

Aile - Because I'm part fish!

Model Z - Okay then…

Luerre - Boo!

Aile - Eep. You're kinda small, aren't you?

(Luerre retreats and her actual body lunges forward.)

Aile - Oh shit!!

(After some difficulty, she beats her.)

Model L - I am Model L. I've got a crush on Model Z. I wanna help.

Aile - Like I can say no?

Inafune - That's right! You can't! -insert maniacal laughter-

(Aile enters Area G.)

Aile - My, the building's were burning, yet people are only now reacting… Hmmm…

(Aile whips through the level.)

Fistleo - I will beat you!

Aile - Great. A boss with regenerative powers. Perfect…

(Fistleo poses.)

Aile - I think I've seen that before…

(Akuma flies in, does the Raging Demon, poses, then jumps through the hole in the wall.)

Aile - Saves me the trouble.

Model F - Caffeine!

Aile - Oh joy…

(Aile goes to Area H.)

Aile - Wow. This place is pretty cool… Despite the fact that this is where my mom died, but nonetheless…

(Aile gets to the end.)

Puprill - Hahaha! I'm a monkey!

Aile - Agh! Don't throw poop at me!

(Aile beats Puprill.)

Model P - I am Model P. I sense great strength coming from you, but you lack training.

Aile - Whatever…

(Aile returns to the Guardian ship as its' attacked.)

Aile - Oh snap!

Prometheus - Oh snap is right!

(Aile beats Prometheus.)

Prometheus - Blargh! -beams off-

(Aile enters Area I.)

Aile - Oh… Rain… Big deal…

Hurricaune - What up!

Aile - Yo!

Hurricaune - I'm going to turn the people I've captured into Cyber Elves!

Aile - How's that work?

Hurricaune - You'll never know because it's never explained! -maniacal laughter- Hahaha! -dying sounds-

Model H - Thanks for rescuing me.

Aile - Again?

Model H - Work with me…

(Aile enters Area J.)

Aile - Ooh… Underwater city…

(Aile gets to the boss.)

Aile - Agh! Big boss!

Leganchor - Don't worry. I don't like life.

Aile - Oh… Okay!

(Aile pwns Leganchor.)

Model L - Cool…

Aile - Totally…

(Aile goes back to Area H.)

Aile - Why did I have to buy the fill-it-in-yourself map?!

(Aile goes to Area K.)

Aile - Great… Fire…

(Aile barely gets through the lava.)

Flammole - Surprise! Happy Deathday!

(Aile shoots Flammole in the face.)

Aile - Stop speaking your gibberish.

Model F - More caffeine!!

(Aile goes to Area L.)

Aile - Agh! Missile rain! It's worse than acid rain!

Protectos - Boo.

Aile - -screams like a little girl- Wait a minute… -just screams-

(Aile barely beats Protectos.)

Model P - Now that I am complete, we can give you the passwords.

(Aile walks up to the door in Area M.)

Model X - Password.

(The door opens.)

Aile - That was it? The password was password?

Model Z - Yep.

Model L - Sure was.

Model F - Retard!!

(Aile growls and reaches the Model W core.)

Aile - Oh snap!

Pandora - Oh snap… is… right…

Aile - Damn William Shatner wannabe.

(Aile beats Pandora.)

Pandora - Blargh… -beams off-

(Aile heads to Area O.)

Aile - Wait a minute… This is Area D!

Model P - This Area D is under attack, thus a new name is in order.

Aile - Whatever…

(Aile gets to Prometheus and Pandora.)

Aile - Oh snap, crackle, and pop!

Prometheus - Yeah! What you said!

(Aile beats the two.)

Pandora - We've been… … … …beaten… -beams off-

Prometheus - It's time for a heroin break. See ya in five years. -beams off-

(Aile goes to Slither building.)

Hivolt - I'm back!

Hurricaune - Floor one!

Aile - Pain. -beats the two-

(Aile goes up another floor.)

Luerre - I'm back too!

Leganchor - Why, God? Why did you bring me back?

(Aile beats the two and goes up another floor.)

Fistleo - I'm Shin Fistleo now!

Flammole - And I'm Flammole!

(Akuma kills the two as Aile goes up another floor.)

Puprill - I'm gonna throw my feces at you!

Protectos - I would too, but I don't have hands…

(Aile beats the two and finds Serpent.)

Serpent - Zap.

(Serpent mutates and is beaten.)

Serpent - Double zap.

(Serpent reforms and is again beaten.)

Serpent - Crap…

Aile - Time to run down a circular street for four minutes! -does so-

MSX - I'd parody the Omega fight, but that's pretty well… Uh… Not possible? Anyways, I shall finish this parody with the single most annoying part in the game.

Guardian - Can you deliver this letter for me?

Aile - Sure.

(Half a thousand letters later…)

Guardian - Um… Aile?

Aile - If you say that word one more time, I'm going to transport my foot up your ass!

Guardian - I'm being transferred. Last one.

Aile - Thank God.

(Aile delivers the last letter.)

Girl - Um, Ms. Tranporter? Can you deliver a letter for me?

(Aile's eye starts twitching.)

Girl - Are you okay?

Aile - I think there's something behind you.

Girl - -turns around- I don't see any…

(Aile transports her foot up the girl's ass.)

MSX - And thus ends my parodies on the Megaman series.

* * *

Next time: The season finale has arrived. 


	38. Season Finale

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Season Finale

One Final Parody of Family Feud

By: The Classic, X, Legends, Zero, Battle Network, and ZX series

* * *

Megaman - Well, hot-diggity-damn! It's the season finale and another Family Feud parody. Go figure! Anyways, on my left, we've got the heroes. There's X, Trigger, Zero, Megaman.EXE, and Aile.

(X and Zero are arm wrestling while Trigger and Aile aren't visible.)

Megaman - Sweet Jesus! They're making… They're making… Origami fishies!

(Trigger and Aile hold Origami fishes over the counter.)

Megaman - And, on the other side, we've got the losers! I mean, villains! There's Sigma, Juno, Omega, Wily, and Sherbet. I mean, Serpent.

(Sigma is hitting the palm of his hand with a bat. Juno is using his hand. Omega is using an axe. Wily using his cane. Serpent is using a butcher knife and says 'Ow' every time he pounds it into his palm.)

Megaman - There's a bunch of category's so let's play!

(X and Sigma walk up to the podium.)

Megaman - Top four answers. Name an under-appreciated Classic series boss.

X - -buzzes in- Bumo?

Megaman - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_Yellow Devil - Bumo!_

_----------- - --_

Megaman - Sigma?

Sigma - I dunno… Man…

_Ding!_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_Yellow Devil - Bumo!_

_Slashman - Two weaknesses_

X - Huh?

Megaman - Yeah. Scorch Wheel and Freeze Cracker. Over to the heroes. Trigger, how 'bout it?

Trigger - Probably a boss from MM2.

Megaman - Survey says…

X

Megaman - Zero?

Zero - Probably something from Megaman 2.

Trigger - What?

Megaman - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Crash Bomb Room - Die To Win_

_----------- - --_

_Yellow Devil - Bumo!_

_Slashman - Two weaknesses_

Trigger - What?!

Megaman - MM2 is not a game. _Megaman_ 2 is.

Trigger - Bastards.

Megaman - EXE?

Megaman.EXE - Probably something from Megaman.

Trigger - No shit.

Megaman - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Crash Bomb Room - Die To Win_

_Enker - Redirection_

_Yellow Devil - Bumo!_

_Slashman - Two weaknesses_

Trigger - Wait… Now I'm just confused… He wasn't in Megaman?

Megaman - Not the one for the NES, but he was in the one for the Gameboy.

Trigger - Whatever.

Megaman - New board. New answers. Trigger, Juno. Front and center.

(Trigger and Juno walk to the podium.)

Megaman - Name a cheap X series boss.

(Everyone present rings a buzzer.)

Trigger - High Max!

Juno - Mijinion!

Audience Guy #1 - Hyenard!

Audience Guy #2 - Double!

Audience Guy #3 - Anteator!

MSX - Your mother!

Zero - Me!

Kinetikai - Everyone from X6, X7, and X8!

(Everyone roars in agreement.)

_Damn!_

_High Max - Fuck!!_

_Snipe Anteator - Shit!!_

_Infinity Mijinion - Damn!!_

_Your mother - Oh snap!!_

(Megaman's helmet has been blown off and Megaman's wide-eyed.)

Megaman - Eep… -shakes head- Anyways, round over. I guess… Anyways, Zero, Omega. Front and center.

(Zero and Omega walk to the podium.)

Megaman - Name a reason why Data's so pissed off all the time.

Zero - He's ugly.

Omega - He's got it coming

Zero - He's a monkey.

Omega - He does the monkey.

Zero - He's… ugly…

Omega - We fuck with him.

Zero - He's… an ugly monkey…

Omega - He's annoying.

Megaman - Leave it to Omega to steal the spotlight.

(Omega's holding a spotlight behind his back.)

Omega - Sorry…

Megaman - Well, everything Omega said was on this card. And everything Zero said was retarded.

Zero - Mmm… Bitch…

Megaman - EXE. Wily. Front and center.

(Megaman.EXE and Wily walk to the podium.)

Megaman - Name one of MSX's favorite… animated… movies?

(Everyone turned to MSX.)

MSX - Hey, I like them!

Megaman - Fruit.

X - Loser.

Trigger- Queer.

Zero - Bitch.

MSX - So be it!

(Using his magical mystical author powers, he swaps the contestants.)

Megaman - Um… Okay… Let's see… We've got Megaman Atlas and the Blitzkrieg… Explode Man and Static Man… Cyrus Thorne and Equinox… Averly and Eclipse… And finally… Burrosis and Devianscroo?

MSX - My created characters. My babies…

Averly - Ew…

Megaman - Can we skip this category?

MSX - For now…

Megaman - Thank God… Burrosis. Devianscroo. Front and center.

(Two Pseudoroids walk to the podium.)

Megaman - Name a character that Zero is often paired with in fandom.

(Burrosis buzzes in.)

Burrosis - Iris.

_Ding!_

_Iris - X4_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

Megaman - Devianscroo?

Devianscroo - Ciel…

Megaman - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Iris - X4_

_Ciel - Z_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

Burrosis - Leviathan.

Megaman - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Iris - X4_

_Ciel - Z_

_Leviathan - Z_

_----------- - --_

Devianscroo - X…

Megaman - Ew… Just… Ew…

_Ding!_

_Iris - X4_

_Ciel - Z_

_Leviathan - Z_

_X - Ew…_

Megaman - Double Ew…

MSX - What? People often portray Zero as a girl. I don't know why. Ask them.

Megaman - Whatever. Averly. Eclipse. Front and center!

(Averly and Eclipse walk to the podium.)

Megaman - Name…

Averly - Averly, One big fucker of mothers, at your service.

Megaman - That's pleasant. Name a retarded NetNavi.

(Again, everyone buzzes in.)

Averly - Topman!

Eclipse - Sharkman!

Audience Guy #1 - Kingman!

Audience Guy #2 - Leagueman!

MSX - Your mother!

Pacman - Pac-Man!

Vectorman - Vectorman!

Bomberman - -series of cartoony squeaks-

Batman - I am the night!

Superman - I'm a douchebag.

Caveman - This is so easy, I could it.

Megaman - …I'm at a loss for words. May God have mercy on all of your souls. Except MSX.

MSX - That's because I sold my soul to myself!

Megaman - Ingenious.

(Cyrus and Equinox walk to the podium.)

Megaman - Name a Megaman character that would make a good Biometal.

(Cyrus buzzes in.)

Cyrus - Enker.

Megaman - Understandable.

_Ding!_

_----------- - --_

_Enker - Mirror Buster_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

Equinox - Bass.

Megaman - Also understandable.

_Ding!_

_Bass - Gospel Boost_

_Enker - Mirror Buster_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

Cyrus - Vile.

Megaman - Ooh…

_Ding!_

_Bass - Gospel Boost_

_Enker - Mirror Buster_

_Vile - Shoulder Cannon_

_----------- - --_

Equinox - Sigma.

Megaman - Uh…

X

Equinox - -holds saber to Megaman's throat- I am always right!

_Ding!_

_Bass - Gospel Boost_

_Enker - Mirror Buster_

_Vile - Shoulder Cannon_

_Sigma - By 'popular' demand_

(Explode Man and Static Man replace Cyrus and Equinox at the podium.)

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

Megaman - Name one of MSX's favorite animated movies.

Explode Man - Land Before Time? Five?

MSX - Ha!

_Ding!_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_The Land Before Time - 9/10_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

Static Man - Meces.

Megaman - Rhymes with feces?

Static Man - Um… Something by Don Bluth.

_Ding!_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_The Land Before Time - 9/10_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_An American Tail - 8/10_

Explode Man - More Don Bluth.

X

Static Man - Something Disney.

MSX - Uh-duh!

Megaman - Specify.

Static Man - Bambi?

MSX - -snorts-

XX

Explode Man - Um… Something Disney… with… machines?

_Ding!_

_The Brave Little Toaster - 10/10_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_The Land Before Time - 9/10_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_An American Tail - 8/10_

(Everyone turns to MSX, who's holding a chainsaw.)

MSX - Make fun of the movie. -revs chainsaw- I dare you.

Megaman - -whispers- Gay…

MSX - -revs chainsaw- Say what?

Megaman - -weakly- Nothing.

Static Man - The Lion King.

Megaman - Oh, yeah! From the Disney parody.

_Ding!_

_The Brave Little Toaster - 10/10_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_The Land Before Time - 9/10_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_The Lion King - 9/10_

_An American Tail - 8/10_

Explode Man - Uh… I don't know…

XXX

Static Man - Something with Meses.

Megaman - Like?

Static Man - Mouse?

_Ding!_

_The Brave Little Toaster - 10/10_

_----------- - --_

_The Great Mouse Detective - 9/10_

_The Land Before Time - 9/10_

_----------- - --_

_----------- - --_

_The Lion King - 9/10_

_An American Tail - 8/10_

MSX - Yay! A winner!

_The Brave Little Toaster - 10/10_

_The Rescuers - 10/10_

_The Great Mouse Detective - 9/10_

_The Land Before Time - 9/10_

_Ferngully - 9/10_

_Lilo & Stitch - 9/10_

_The Lion King - 9/10_

_An American Tail - 8/10_

Megaman - Guess you two win. Okay, Static Man first. Ready? Go. Name one of MSX's greatest parodies.

Static Man - Family Feud.

Megaman - Name one of MSX's worst parodies.

Static Man - Religion.

Megaman - Say a funny line from one of MSX's parodies.

Static Man - I smell Negro.

Megaman - Name a parody that MSX canceled.

Static Man - The Hulk.

Megaman - Name a parody that MSX began making, but canceled later.

Static Man - Not Another Teen Movie.

Megaman - Let's see how you did.

_Family Feud - 1_

_Religion - 1_

'_I smell Negro…' - 1_

_The Hulk - 1_

_Not Another Teen Movie - 1_

Static Man - Oh balls!

Megaman - Explode Man. You ready?

Explode Man - Yes.

Megaman - Name one of MSX's greatest parodies.

Explode Man - Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.

Megaman - Name one of MSX's worst parodies.

Explode Man - Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

Megaman - Say a funny line from one of MSX's parodies.

Explode Man - I'm warning you! -Warning!- -Warning!-

Megaman - Name a parody MSX canceled.

Explode Man - Citizen Kane.

(Everyone stops and slowly turns to him.)

MSX - What? That movie's boring! I was asleep within ten minutes of it! How can you parody a movie while you're sleeping?!

Megaman - Blasphemy.

MSX - Yeah? Well, shove it up your fuckhole!

Megaman - Right… Name a parody MSX started, but canceled later.

Explode Man - Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

MSX - Same concept.

_Grand Theft Auto: Vice City - 34_

_Indiana Jones/ Last Crusade - 33_

'_I'm warning you! -Warning! Warning!- - 90_

_Citizen Kane - Blasphemy! - 5_

_Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - 33_

Megaman - So convenient, yet so obvious. Well, that's it for now. Will we see you again? Let's hope not.

* * *

Epilogue

Aftermath III

* * *

"And… cut!" Everyone sighs and MSX's creations vanish. "What now?" MSX sits back. "We get a few weeks off." Zero dunks his hand as Spider walks up. "Myes?" Spider pointed and accusing finger at MSX. "Of all the shit you had to pull…" MSX gave the puppy lip. "What's wrong? Not enough screen time?"

Spider growled. "I can deal with finishing a few weeks late, but ending an entire season in about a month?! What kind of shit is that?!" MSX gave 'that look' to the screen. "It's more… what's the proper phrase? More time conservative?" Spider growled. "So?!" MSX snorted. "So, have you seen the list of fics I've yet to write?"

MSX whistled and Clyde backs a dump truck through the wall. "Don't dump my ideas! I do that enough already!" Clyde gave the thumbs-up as everyone turned to MSX. "I also forgot to add some stuff to my parodies." Aile raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

MSX opened up an old-fashioned scroll. "I forgot to mention the sequel to Pocahontas, which was released around the same time as Aladdin. Again, not that great of a movie. Then, I forgot to mention how Disney's plot for world domination was foiled by a man named Don Bluth, who created some of the greatest animated movies of all time."

Everyone began exchanging looks. "What? I like animated movies. They're entertaining." Trigger sighed. "About the 60 Minutes parody…" MSX nodded. "I meant it. Is this the end? Or, is it just the beginning of something new? It's up to them."

MSX pointed at the screen and X raised an eyebrow. "Your pointing at a camera." MSX scoffed. "You know what I mean!" MSX pulled out a list. "Random Parody Show trilogy… Check!" MSX sat back in his chair. "Well, no screaming today. It's all up to the viewers. So, let's end on a positive note." MSX snapped his fingers and everyone turned into a chicken. "End!!"


End file.
